My Triptocaine
by MazlanD
Summary: After Norman resigns from the FBI, he looks for a way to reconnect with the real world and fights the side effects from his ARI and Triptocaine withdrawal. Norman soon discovers Carter may be the cure. eventual CarterXNorman.
1. Chapter 1

A/N.

Disclaimer. I do not own any material related to Heavy Rain, all characters etc are owned by Quantic Dream. This disclaimer applies to all chapters.

Rated M for constant harsh language and eventual sex scenes. I remind you this is a Slash [Yaoi] story.

Norman Jayden ending spoiler!

This story follows the happenings of Norman Jayden after he accuses Carter Blake of being the Origami Killer and getting kicked off the case, eventually leading to his resignation from the FBI and completely quitting ARI and Triptocaine.

If you're fine with watching this ending [if you haven't already gotten it] I suggest you do, as it is an excellent visual to go with this story. [Normans obvious twitching etc.]

This ending in Heavy Rain is called Resignation.

* * *

After quitting the FBI Norman Jayden faced the difficult task of returning to the real world. Norman tried to think back to before the ARI glasses. Trying to find a moment in time when he felt 'real' himself. When he felt human.

Norman didn't know what to do with himself now. He didn't have any family left and he didn't want to stay in Washington; where all the madness had started.

He sold his apartment in Washington and moved from hotel to hotel for some weeks. Always changing locations, trying to keep his mind active, stable and focused on reality. The constant change of scenery helped somewhat. He still got the shakes and twitched from time to time along with the other symptoms from the withdrawal but they were lessening… he hoped.

But his mind although active, somehow felt monotonous. His emotions were low to nothing he almost felt his heart had flat lined. Until one day…

After moving around a couple of different states for a few months, Norman Jayden found himself back in the rainy city that had once been the home to the Origami Killer.

While driving through the city Norman started to feel somewhat calm as he reminisced about his experience here. He thought back to being on patrol with his asshole of a partner Blake and surprised himself as he smiled at the memory.

Norman decided to rent a hotel room a few streets from the Police Station. He could have rented from the same hotel he stayed at last time, they did have much better rooms. But Norman felt more settled being in a familiar area in the city. Quite contradictory to how he had been living for the past few months.

**

Norman had been in the city for a couple of days now when he decided to go out for lunch and stop ordering in.

What was just meant to be a quick stop into a deli to grab a sandwich had turned into a shop for food supplies of all sorts.

Norman walked to the counter with his supplies and paid the clerk. He was just fitting his wallet into his pant pockets as he left the store when he bumped into someone.

"Sorry"

Norman replied automatically as he carefully bent down to pick up his fallen wallet, careful to control his sudden shakes.

As he stood up, he noticed the person was still standing there, their hands on their hips. And as their eyes made contact he was sure that the surprise he saw on that persons face was mirrored on his.

"Carter!"

Norman said indigently stumbling backwards; he tried to catch himself as he tripped over his own feet.

Carter quickly griped Normans forearm before he could fall and pulled him back, steadying him.

The look of shock and confusion was written on both their faces as Carter pulled his hand back quickly, only noticing now what he had done out of instinct.

Carter quickly looked around and removed himself from Normans personal space, as if he was worried someone had noticed the kind gesture from the Lieutenant.

Norman cleared his throat and moved a few feet back, resting his back against the wall in case of another 'dizzy attack,'

"Thanks."

Carter responded by folding his arms over his chest

"What the fuck are you doing here Norman?!"

"I'm just here to.." Norman started

"Your not going to fuck around with one of our cases again are you!?"

Norman scowled,

'_The fucking nerve of this pick!'_

Norman pushed him self off the wall as he came close to Carter. He felt steadier now.

"Fuck you Carter! You and all your fucking police force know that if it wasn't for me, you'd all still be on that fucking case, you would have arrested an innocent man and Shaun Mars would have died!"

Carter scowled and looked as if he wanted to punch the Ex-FBI agent, which would not surprise Norman at all.

But with the street full of on looking people Carter decided to play it safe and let it slide.

"If you had it your way Norman, you'd have thrown me in jail and the real Origami Killer would still be out there. Go suck a dick, asshole."

And with that Carter had turned and left. Leaving Norman feeling more alive then he had in months.

**

After seeing Carter, Norman had headed straight for his small hotel room. He put his supplies on his small desk and then started to pace as he thought.

The animosity that had fired up upon seeing Carter had stayed with him the whole trip back to the hotel and didn't seem to be lessening as time passed. All his thoughts and worries that he held while working on the case came back, how closely Carter had come to ruining the whole case and letting the killer get away, how Carter had interrogated suspects and just that damn pig-headed attitude towards Norman and everyone else around him. There was plenty of thug FBI agents back in Washington that Norman had dealt with, so how did Carter get under his skin?

The ARI glasses along with the Triptocaine of course! When he had last came to this city his addiction and grasp on reality were steadily going down hill, his mind was lapsing in and out of reality, leaving his mind venerable. That must have been the reason why Carter had such an impact on him.

Then Norman stopped pacing as he took in his surroundings, he was standing in the middle of his small hotel room, there was no red dust floating in the air, no sound of a waterfall near by. His hands weren't shaking and he was thinking clearly. Not only that, he was angry! He could feel his heart beating steadily and could feel adrenaline pumping through his veins. He hadn't felt this alive since…he couldn't even remember when he last felt like this!

He threw himself onto the bed, Norman grinned and relished in the feeling

"son-of-a-bitch Carter."

* * *

Revised A/N =^_^= Thanks to everyone who commented! Your advice was extremely helpful.

I will continue to take the advice you give me and I will then be able to improve my grammar and overall writing ability. I still have a lot to learn and hope you all continue to help me =D

(original)

[A/N =~_^=

Please excuse my terrible grammar, when it comes to writing stories my grammar disappears. All spelling/grammar mistakes are my own.

This is my first 'published' fan fiction so feedback is important, please help me improve on any area you think I am lacking, lol.

Constructive comments only please.

I am very nervous about this. lol.]


	2. Chapter 2

The next day the feeling had gone, and Norman woke to find himself in bed in the middle of an autumn forest. His hands started to shake as his pressed his palms against his eyes yelling as he sat up in bed. The withdrawals were back, the feeling yesterday was only fleeting, but what did he expect? To be suddenly cured?

"Fuck, get a hold of your self Norman"

he sighed and ever so carefully untangled himself from the bed sheets, placing his bare feet upon the wooden surface.

The room faded in and out of reality as Norman slowly made his way to standing. By the time he had made it to the bathroom the withdrawals had stopped.

The rest of the day had gone slowly and without many shifts between reality and cold sweats. For Norman, this (unfortunately) was a good day.

As Norman Jayden absentmindedly walked about an old bookstore he thought back to yesterday and how seeing Carter had caused such a stir that his withdrawals had stopped for the rest of the day.

It wasn't just that he was angry with the asshole, he'd been plenty angry with people since leaving the FBI…well he though he should have at least felt angry, but the feeling was never there to back up the thought.

He thought it best to run some tests and let Carter unknowingly be his test subject.

It was still early in the day, around 4pm, so Norman decided to try his luck by stopping by the police station in hopes of seeing Carter.

This time it would be no accident.

**

Norman walked through the precinct doors and up to the front desk.

"I'd like to speak with Lieutenant Carter Blake please."

The secretary didn't even look up from her computer as she answered

"Is he expecting you?."

Norman shifted slightly to see if he could catch a glimpse of Carter in the main office area

"No, but I'd appreciate it if you could let him know I need to have a word with him"

The secretary looked up at him and gave him a quizzical look

"Is this related to a crime sir?"

"No it's not I just…"

"Then I'm sorry sir but the Lieutenant is busy at the moment, if you have need to speak with him you'll have to arrange an appointment."

The secretary returned to her work. Norman sighed as he thought of his next move; he hated using this card,

"Please I'm Norman Jayden, I worked on the case of the Origami Killer with the Lieutenant."

At this the secretary looked surprised and opened her mouth about to ask a question, Norman beat her to it

"Here's my ID, I'm no longer with the FBI, but that's not important."

The secretary looked at his ID and nodded

"Please forgive me for not recognizing you, but as you can see, I see a lot of faces and don't keep track of everyone."

Norman put away his ID

"Of course"

The secretary picked up her phone

"I'll get him for you, please take a seat"

"Please don't tell him it's me ok, I want it to be a surprise"

Norman quickly added leaning over the desk.

If the secretary didn't recognize him then there is no way she'd remember that he'd been thrown off the case after accusing Carter and that Carter hated his guts.

Norman walked past the chairs and decided to lean against the wall instead. The common sounds of the precinct filled his ears and Norman closed his eyes as he let the sounds of the real world fill him, but not long after did he feel the wind blowing through his hair and the sound of a rushing waterfall. He opened his eyes quickly to discover he was on top of a plateau over looking a valley. Norman cursed quietly as he tried to concentrate on getting out of this altered reality.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Like a snap of his fingers the altered reality came crashing down to be replaced by the familiar environment of the precinct and of Carter.

Norman turned astounded to find his reality back to normal so quickly.

"Huh?" Norman dumbly mumbled.

"I said what the fuck are you doing here Norman?"

Carter sneered as he made his way over to the Ex-FBI agent.

"Cheryl here told me I had a friend waiting to see me and I find your ass here?"

Norman quickly composed himself

"I need to talk to you Carter"

about what Norman had no idea, all his pre-made speeches, all his plans were completely lost now that Carter was in his face.

"What you on official business or some crap?"

"No I'm not Carter, but I…"

"Then fuck off, I ain't got nothing to say to you"

Carter turned and made his way back through waiting room door into the offices.

"Carter you son-of-a-bitch come back here!"

Norman yelled clenching his fists.

"Sir!"

Norman turned to see the secretary leaning over her desk, and man did she look angry.

"Sir, you need to refrain from yelling, obviously Lieutenant Blake has no interest in speaking with you at this moment."

Norman 'humpfted' as he made his way over to the front desk.

'_Ok think Norman think!'_

"I'd like to make an appointment with Captain Perry."

The secretary sighed and sat down

"Regarding what sir?"

"Recruitment" Norman replied.

* * *

A/N. =^_^=

Please keep in mind that Norman's emotions have pretty much flat-lined and have been like that for a fair few months. I'm thinking Normans world has completely flipped up side down, so when he finds a way to right it, he won't question it. He'll take it and get it anyway he can. Also if you think that he has jumped into the 'Carter stabilizes me' thing to quickly please keep in mind that it's his first taste of normalcy in ages and that as a detective I reckon you'd let your instincts do a lot of the thinking, I think right now he'd go for anything that helps.

As for Formatting, i am still having trouble with FFnets editor _ hopefully it turns out ok.


	3. Chapter 3

Norman left the building feeling better then he did when he arrived. Even such a short interaction with Carter was enough to get his blood pumping like nothing else could. Norman was sure he was grinning like a fool as he walked back to his hotel.

'_This doesn't make any fucking sense…but it doesn't have to. All that needs to happen is that I get this feeling as much and as often as I can, until I can break the cycle and go back to being normal'. _

Norman sighed as he thought back to his rash plan earlier at the precinct.

'_Recruitment? I don't know what I'm thinking, but it doesn't matter, I don't fucking care how I do it, I just have to get close to Carter.' _

His appointment was scheduled with Captain Perry for Monday the 25th, five days time. Plenty of time to put into effect one more test with Carter.

If Carter had something to do with bringing Norman back into reality for good, then Norman would take any position that the Captain offered him, even if it was as a lowly assistant who just made the coffee. All he cared about was getting back to the real world, he didn't give a shit if that meant he had to take Carter or Perrys bullcrap for a while. It was worth it.

**

Norman camped out all day and night at the local coffee shop across the street from the Police Station, hoping to either see Carter or Carters car leaving the building.

Other then seeing the Lieutenant leave the building on patrol, Norman was not successful in catching him leave the building to go home.

As Norman suspected, his shifts between reality and his constant trips to the bathroom to deal with his shakes and cold sweats, would have made him miss his chance, that or the Lieutenant did an 'all nighter'.

The coffee shop had closed for the night and Norman didn't want to loiter around on the streets, he probably looked suspicious enough.

Norman went back to his hotel; hopefully tomorrow he'd have more success.

The next day Norman couldn't believe his luck as he walked down from his hotel towards the Police Station, a few blocks before reaching the station, Norman saw Carter standing outside an apartment building.

He quickly made his way over to the apartments, careful not to be seen by Carter, who seemed preoccupied waiting for someone.

As Norman came close to Carter he called out

"Lieutenant Carter Blake,"

Carter turned around at first looking surprised until he saw who was calling his name, he cursed and shoved his hands into his trench coat pockets

"What the fuck are you doing here Norman!?"

"I need to speak to you Carter"

by now Norman was only a few feet next to the Lieutenant.

Carter scowled and stalked over to Norman, completely invading his space.

"I already fucking told you asshole, I ain't got nothing to say to you, now why don't you take your sorry-good-for-nothing-FBI ass back to Washington and fucking stay there."

Norman didn't back down, he stayed where he was, leaving only inches between their chests.

"I quit the FBI Carter."

At this Carter looked surprised and took a step back

"What? You fucking quit?" Carter paused and smirked "I don't believe that for a second, I bet you got your ass fired, didn't you? They probably found out what a fucking head case you are."

Norman ground his teeth together; trust Carter to find his weak spot. Norman thought to quickly change where the conversation was going

"I heard you never found the Origami Killer, but that the killings had stopped and Shaun Mars was saved."

"Yeah,"

Carter said sounding like his mind was elsewhere; he turned and looked up at the apartment windows, trying to see something.

"It stopped... And we do have a suspect, only problem is that he'd dead, but we got plenty of evidence to suggest he's the guy,"

Carter smirked and turned to Norman.

"Well done Carter"

"Don't give me that bullshit Norman, we both know you were hoping that it'd turn out to me."

Norman turned and stared into the quite street. He had regretted his decision to accuse Carter of the crime, if anything it was a testament to how bad his addictions had become. But Norman was sure Carter took it all on the chin.

"Fucking lunatic," Norman heard Carter grumble.

"I know I acted irrationally before Carter, I had a lot of stuff going on that clouded my judgment,"

Norman admitted, never feeling too proud to give an apology and an explanation when it was needed.

But Carter didn't let him continue.

"Fucking save it alright Norman, and just what the fuck are you doing back here if you've shit canned the FBI?"

Carter turned back to Norman, hands on his hips.

"I don't know exactly Carter, I guess I'm trying to get my life back together."

"Well just remember this Norman; while your doing you fucking hippy soul searching, stay the fuck away from me alright."

Carter finished by swearing under his breath and turning back to the apartment.

While Carter wasn't looking Norman allowed him self a small smile, he didn't know what it was, but just being near and talking to the obnoxious Lieutenant made him feel so much more alive.

The front door to the apartment building opened and a male, a little younger then Carter, came out wearing the same trench coat, it must have been Ash.

"They don't have the faintest fucking idea where she went, I suggest we check all the western…"

Ash stopped as he spotted Norman next to Carter.

He looked Norman up and down as he came closer ending with a disgruntled expression on his face.

Carter turned and gave Norman one last look before heading off up the street towards their undercover patrol car.

Norman smiled and started walking toward the small bookstore he had found, He laughed to himself as he thought of the look on Ashs' and Carters face.

'_This cities police force do have their own special charm I must say, they always seem to be pissed off about something.'_

* * *

A/N =^_~=

Thank you for your reviews and suggestions! I'm taking them on board and lets hope my grammar improves XD I really have no idea what happened to it, it just left me one day.

I'm trying to keep Norman Jayden in character, but it's a bit hard since I'm writing him as he is going through a big change in his life.

As for Carter Blake, his attitude will slowly be toned down. For now I think he'd still be in reaction from his and Jaydens last interactions.

Oh and one last thing! I'm Australian so swearing [unfortunately] comes naturally to me (even if I don't use it myself) so let me know if Blake seems to swear to much ;D

Right now I am busy writing chapter 6. So there will probably be constant updates. The reason why I haven't uploaded all of them is because I am going back and editing parts…and also trying to correct any grammatical errors XD.

Ah and as for format, T_T i am having trouble with FFnets editor...it hates me. But i shall prevail! XD


	4. Chapter 4

"Agent Norman Jayden, or should I say Ex-Agent".

Normans appointment had finally arrived with Captain Perry and already he had a sour taste in his mouth.

"So you say you've quite the FBI, no real plans on going back there any time soon."

Perry sat behind his desk, looking smug.

"That's correct Sir."

"So…let me get this straight Norman, I kick you off the case after your poor performance, you resign from the FBI…" Perry was clearly enjoying this far too much.

"And now you're back here, asking to be recruited, and might I add, you have no feelings either way for what you'd like to be recruited for. And don't think for a second I would consider recruiting you as a detective, we don't just take anyone up off the street, even if your resume is impeccable, you accused one of my best men as being the Origami Killer with no proof to back up your theory"

"I am aware of that Sir, and can understand your reason for not giving me that position," Norman stated calmly.

"Damn straight I'm not. But why here Norman, why come back here, to where you botched your whole career, it would seem."

Perry had a tight-lipped smile; he tented his fingers waiting for a response.

"Call it making amends, call it what you will, but I'm trying to get my life back on track, I thought it best to start back here."

Perry seemed satisfied with Normans answer,

'_the little pick's gotten knocked down a few notches'_ he thought to himself.

"Alright Norman, I'll give you a shot, there are a few positions opened at the moment"

"Sir if I may?" Norman said quickly, Perry waved his hand signaling for him to continue.

"I would like a position in the Criminal Investigation Department, if there is one"

Perry looked thoughtful, if not a little confused,

"Hmm let me think about it Norman, I'll get back to you."

Norman stood along with the Captain and shook his hand "Thank you Captain."

Captain Perry called Norman two days later informing him there was a vacant position in the Criminal Investigation Department and that Norman could take it if he wished.

"I know it won't be what your use to Norman, but it's what I've got on offer."

"Thank you Captain, I'll see you on Monday."

Perry hung up the phone and called Carter Blake into his office.

"Carter please take a seat"

Perry called as Carter closed the door.

"There has been some most interesting developments recently Carter"

Carter opened his mouth to speak, but Perry cut him off with a wave of his hand and continued on,

"No it has nothing to do with the Mary Sunderland case, this is about a new recruit."

"What about him?" Carter asked, not looking interested in the slightest.

"I've been informed that you've already had contact with Norman Jayden in the past few days, am I correct?"

"Yeah, I've seen him" Carter said shifting in his seat.

"Well, you'll be seeing a lot more of him from now on" Perry stated, raising his eyebrows at Carter.

"What are you saying? …Un-fucking-believable, you're recruiting that little shit?"

Perry got up out of his chair and faced the board behind his desk,

"Carter, you've got to look at the bigger picture with Norman Jayden, put aside your little pissing contest and think about it"

At this Carter quickly rose from his chair

"I'm not the only one with a problem with that asshole, most of the whole fucking force despise him, not to mention he's a fucking lunatic who can't crack a fucking case before loosing it!"

Perry turned around frowning and waved Carter down.

"I'm not putting him anywhere he can screw up, he won't be a profiler and won't be a detective".

"Then what, your gonna recruit him to release suspects from holding cells!?"

Carter was pissed now.

"Must I remind you Lieutenant that I am in charge here and what I say is final!" Perry yelled, he had lost patience with Carters attitude.

"Norman Jayden will be working here for the time being as nothing more then a lowly general assistant, he will be in charge of keeping files and anything else that is needed of him."

Perry sat down and smoothed his tie, gaining his composure.

"Now Lieutenant, sit down."

Carter begrudgingly sat down.

Perry continued,

"Now I am not sure why Norman Jayden resigned from the FBI, his superiors tell me he needed some time off or some bullcrap, but what is important is that he is a amazing profiler"

Perry lifted his hand quickly signaling for Carter not to interrupt

"he may get a little ahead of him self sometimes..."

At this point Carter did interrupt

"A little? He accused me of being the Origami Killer and got kicked off the case! Some amazing profiler!."

"Lieutenant! That's neither here nor there anymore! What's important is that Norman Jayden has obviously been knocked down a few notches after botching that last case, he's willing to take this crappy job, says it'll help him get his life back together. And afterwards we might find our department with its own highly skilled profiler".

Perry smiled, Carter grimaced. He could see where the Captain was going with this, he didn't agree with it though, sounded like a stupid faulty plan. But anyway he's the Boss. And if it meant he would be Norman's superior and boss the little pick around for a bit, he could deal with that. Carter smirked and got out of his chair

"You're the boss, what department are you putting him in?"

"Yours" the Captain replied.

Carter felt his smirk falter, that might just be a little too close for comfort.

* * *

A/N. =^_^=

I dislike Perry -____- He's the OK! Nah he isn't smart enough.


	5. Chapter 5

_^_ Different Character point of view since the editor won't let me use another _

* * *

When Monday finally arrived Norman donned his gray suit and headed for the Police Station. These next few weeks, or even months were going to be a test to how far he was willing to go to get back his sanity. He was willing to take the job Perry had offered him; he was willing to put up with that asshole and his little right hand man Carter.

_^_

Cater however was probably looking less forward to it then Norman. He'd only just arrived at the station and already he was in a bad mood, just a few desks away from his was a newly cleared one, all ready for Norman to get settled into.

Ash wasn't coming in today, he'd left last night to follow the Mary Sunderland case with a few cops out of their jurisdiction. Shame Carter had to stay behind. He could have really used a distraction from the snotty-nosed little shit that was going to walk through the doors at any moment.

_^_

Norman walked through the prescient doors and through the offices, and was filled with the sense of Deja Vu as he took a seat outside of Captain Perrys office. He was told Charlene, Perrys assistant, was to be his coach for the next few days. He didn't have to wait long, Perrys office door opened and Charlene came out.

"Norman Jayden" She said smiling.

Norman quickly rose and shook her hand.

"I'll show you to your desk"

Norman followed her only a few feet until she stopped at a small desk next to a pillar…

_'only a couple of desks away from Carter…excellent' _Norman thought.

He took a seat at his new desk as Charlene typed some commands into his work computer

"There isn't much to learn, as I believe you'll be familiar with how to run things, it's mainly administrative roles, keeping files and organizing the officers"

"I am quite familiar with the role, thank you very much" Norman said.

Charlene smiled and folded her arms

"Well that's good, I'm much too busy to teach a novice, but the Captain said you're quite capable. Your work load will be small until we feel confident enough to increase the amount."

Norman smiled weakly _'until they feel confident enough with me? Do they think I am completely incapable?'_

"Oh and one last thing" Charlene left his desk and walked over to hers, only to return with a clip board filled with papers

"The Captain asked that I write out a list of your responsibilities this week, that should give you enough time to get familiar with how this position works, if you need anything, or need to ask some questions you know where to find me."

And with that Charlene returned to her desk.

Norman stared down at the clipboard in his hand

'_I completely over looked this aspect of being an assistant…shit. I'm so used to using my ARI, going old school is going to be interesting.'_

Norman quickly grabbed his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his bleeding nose

'_Great start Norman' _he thought with a sigh.

_^_

From where Carter sat, he could easily see Norman.

'_Shit.'_

Even when he was typing on the computer he could see him out of the corner of his eye. Carter pulled his monitor to the side and turned his chair. There, now he could only see him when he wasn't typing,

'_fucking shit head'_

Regarding Norman, the rest of the day went as smoothly as Carter could expect. He had left the station a couple of times, and upon each of his returns, without fail, Norman was sitting at his new desk typing away on the computer.

The guy wasn't even in the Lieutenants way, but every time Norman got up from his desk to either deliver folders or speak with Charlene, Carter would grind his teeth in annoyance. It wasn't a matter of how long Norman would last here; it was a matter of

how soon Norman would cross the line and step into Carters territory. And that wouldn't end well.

'_Just what is that guy up to anyway?'_

__^_  
_

Norman never really realized how often he got the withdrawal attacks in one day until he started working at the Precinct again. Just in the first day Norman had to make several trips to the bathroom to either hide the twitching of his head and hands or rinse his face with water to bring himself back under control.

'_This is going to be harder then I thought, god I wish I had an office.'_

As for the work, there was nothing to it; once he knew where everything was and what he had to do. The Precinct was a lot less organized then his old head quarters back at Washington. He just hoped that he didn't die from boredom before he could get his life back together.

Norman left the Precinct by 7pm, without saying a word to Carter the whole day.

**

It was only on the third day that Carter spoke to him and luckily for Norman Carter was in a good mood.

Norman was just finishing making a coffee at the small coffee station in the Precinct when Carter came up to him.

"Make me one of those, would you Jayden" Norman heard Carter ask.

Norman turned around with his finished coffee to look at Carter only a few feet behind him.

"Sure,"

Norman took a quick sip of his coffee before starting on the Lieutenants.

"Ah shit" Norman stuck his tongue out at the assault of flavor on his taste buds.

_'I can't believe I didn't remember the coffee here tasted like crap,'_

Norman heard Carter chuckle behind him, he threw his coffee cup in the bin and turned around.

"I'm gonna grab a coffee from across the street, you want me to get you one?" Norman asked, suddenly feeling unsure of himself.

"Sure" Carter replied. He made his way back to his desk.

Norman caught up with him as Carter sat down.

"What do you want?"

Carter was smirking ever so slightly, "What ever kid, just none of that hippy shit."

Norman felt himself smile slightly, "Alright."

**

As Norman made his way across the road he thought back to his interaction with Carter.

He thought he wouldn't be able to get that 'alive tingly feeling' if his and Carters interactions weren't heated.

_'Not that I mind it, I'd rather it if I didn't have to feel better by Carter calling me a fucking asshole or anything else his imagination can come up with.'_

After ordering two black coffees Norman made his way back into the Precinct.

Carter was busy flipping through some files as Norman came up to his desk and set down a coffee.

"Thanks" Carter began, leaning back in his chair "say, I put some files on an old case on your desk, you mind writing up the report?"

"Sure thing, when do you need it by" Norman took a sip of his coffee

_'ahh finally, that's a good cup-o-joe'_

"Tomorrow morning, preferably," Carter replied with a wave of his hand.

"I'll see what I can do"

Norman headed back to his desk and started going through the files.

_'Hmmm, seems simple enough.'_

_^_

Carter watched Norman out the corner of his eye. Some of his hostility towards the Ex-Agent was now replaced with curiosity.

_'Why the hell would Norman resign? What the fuck could go wrong in his perfect little conservative life…unless…nah, the FBI wouldn't be doing a secret investigation of this Precinct, they're never that subtle'_

Carter scratched his chin in thought.

_'He must have lost the plot after screwing up the OK case, ah serves him right'_

"Carter!"

Carter was pulled out his thoughts as Ash called out and sat on his desk.

"Any leads?" Carter asked.

"Nah, and those fucking cops in Devon are useless," Ash started. He turned around and stole a quick glance at Norman "speaking of useless, how's the faggot doing?"

Carter frowned, he hated that word, and sure he swore a lot but he wasn't about to start using insults that regarded someone's sexuality. He wasn't one or anything. He just didn't like it.

"He's doing fine"

Carter got up out of his chair and grabbed his coat

"Come one, I've got some people I want to question."

* * *

A/N =~_^=

All past chapters have been updated yay! Still having trouble with the editor though -__-; it never saves the format i want.

Just in case some people are wondering, I don't believe Carter Blake would go and create a fight. There would be less tension between them now that Norman Jayden isn't in a threatening position anymore.

In other words, if Norman Jayden stays out his way everything will be fine. The pressures off Carter Blake, as the OK case as pretty much been closed, and he doesn't have to directly deal with Norman. This makes him a lot easier to be around I reckon!

However! I do think Carter would still feel some hostility towards Norman.

I did consider changing this chapter a few times. I thought of writing a different chapter 5 in which Carter was less friendly, but after some thought I decided to keep it and let Normans and Carters relationship run it's course by Carters mood. As in the game Carter didn't even seem to mind Normans company when he was in a good mood.

Thank you all for your advice on the grammar monster! I shall prevail.

There is a hidden reference in this chapter to do with another game. It was actually first mentioned in chapter 4. Can any one guess what it is? Here's a clue, it from a survival horror game ;D


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days didn't go so well for Norman; Carter was away most of the time and Perry kept giving him shit for his reports, saying they were too long and included unnecessary information.

Norman sat down at his desk, ready to edit another report for the 'Publicity Captain.'

He brought up the folder on his computer when he felt his hands start to tremble; Norman quickly tried to hide his trembling hands and waited for it to stop.

But it didn't stop it only got worse, Norman stood up to go to the bathroom only to have a severe 'dizzy assault' wash over him.

He tried to steady himself and hoped no one noticed him right now.

_^_

Carter was just walking through the Precinct doors and through the offices when he noticed Norman bracing himself on his desk.

Ash was still busy parking the car, he could catch up with him in a minute, but first what was Norman doing?

Carter watched as Norman slowly turned and made his way to the men's bathroom, seeming to be in a drunken stupor.

_^_

Norman quickly pushed the door to the bathroom open and was so relieved to find it empty. He stumbled over to the basin to wash his face. By now he had double vision and reached for the 'invisible' taps instead. With all his concentration on grabbing hold of those taps, Normans weighed fell forward when there was no real basin to catch him.

He landed on the tiled floor and tried to grab hold of a basin, he could feel moisture running from his nose now.

_^_

Carter had followed Norman into the bathroom, hoping to catch the Ex-Agent drunk on duty. But what he saw surprised him, he watched as Norman missed the basin and fell to the floor and, without even hitting his head, started heavily bleeding from his nose.

Carter cursed under his breath as he went to help Norman up off the floor.

_^_

Norman felt arms grip underneath his armpits and heave him to a standing position against the wall.

Normans vision quickly came back into focus, and the face in front of his was probably the last one he'd want to see right now.

Carters' large hand was bracing Normans shoulder against the wall.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Norman!" Carter exclaimed, obviously shocked and maybe a little concerned.

Normans senses were racing back, he wasn't dizzy anymore and his hands weren't shaking, but he left Carters hand on his shoulder, supporting him. It felt warm and secure.

"Nothing Carter I just fell" Norman lied.

"The fuck you did, I saw you stumble in here like you were a fucking drunk!"

Carters other hand came up and rested on Normans other shoulder, trying to get Norman to make eye contact with him.

Norman licked his lips as he felt a drop of blood fall across them. He pulled out his handkerchief from his suit pocket and wiped his nose free from blood.

"Answer me Norman! People don't just stumble the fuck around, bleed from their noses and their hands don't convulse just from a rough day at work"

_'Shit, I could have probably just lied about having a virus or something if he hadn't seen my fucking hands shake'_ Norman thought.

Norman shrugged Carter off and walked over to the basin, "Just leave it Carter, it has nothing to do with you."

"Your right, it has nothing to do with me. But if you've got something I'm gonna have to tell the Captain, you know that right?"

Norman turned around quickly, his panic growing.

"Look at me, I'm fine. All right! So just leave it!" Norman exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

Carter seemed to growl and stalked closer to Norman.

"Don't even try it Norman, we both know what I saw. Now your gonna answer me, and give me the fucking truth. What do you have?"

Norman felt himself go pale but not from the withdrawals for once. He turned back to the basin, needing to think quickly.

_'What the fuck do I do? I can't tell him about my Triptocaine abuse. I gotta tell him something otherwise he'll go to Perry, then all hell will break loose. I can't mess this up. This may be my last chance!'_

"I don't HAVE anything Carter,"

Norman turned to face Carter, leaning his hands on the basin behind him.

"Then what Norman, you're just feeling a bit under the weather? Bullshit…"

Norman opened his mouth to say something but Carter interrupted him,

"And don't think for a second that I won't notice what's a fucking lie and what's not!"

Norman rubbed his hands over his face as he contemplated telling Carter the truth.

_'Fuck, nothing good can come of this.'_

Norman sighed and turned around, looking into the drain of the basin

"…Triptocaine"

"What! Your on a fucking drug!?" Carter yelled coming closer to Norman.

Norman frowned and put his finger to his lips, signaling Carter to quiet down.

_'Fucking great, why did I have to tell him here? Anyone could come in at any moment!'_

"No, I'm not on a drug!"

"Then wha…"

Carter interrupted only to be interrupted by Norman.

"I was on it, I quit months ago…I was…I was taking it to control the over exposure to ARI"

Norman could see Carters confused face in the reflection of the mirror.

"You know those glasses I use to wear?"

This seemed to only confuse Carter more.

"Yeah…"

"They weren't just glasses, they were called ARI for Added Reality Interface. They were able to detect and record information from the environment. I used them to dissect and solve cases, but the point is that if you use them too much, they mess up the brains perception of reality, among many other things. I was taking Triptocaine to fight off the effects of the ARI."

Carter seemed to take in all the information, as a detective would.

"Well that sounds fucking smart."

"Fuck you Carter!" Norman shouted angrily turning around towards Carter.

"It fucked me up ok! that's why I'm taking a break from the FBI, I'm constantly fighting the effects from the withdrawal."

There was a moments silence before either spoke.

"How long does it take?" Carter asked softly, completely surprising Norman.

"I don't know. I'm sure other FBI agents suffer from it. But no one knows about it" Norman suddenly looked desperate "Please Carter you can't tell anyone! I'm getting past it! You have to believe me!"

Carter was taken aback by Normans sudden shift between emotions.

He looked at Norman quietly for a while before turning his attention towards the far wall.

"Sure, I won't tell."

Normans body outwardly relaxed, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Thanks Carter"

Carter walked towards the door and waved a hand at him.

"Save it Norman."

Carter paused at the door and turned around towards Norman.

"How do you help it?"

Norman shrugged.

"I don't know, but being here seems to help. I know it doesn't make any sense."

Carter seemed to be thinking about something as he nodded and left the bathroom.

**

Later that night Norman was lying on his bead, thankfully staring up at a blank ceiling and not up at a clear blue sky.

His and Carters relationship seemed to have shifted after that incident in the bathroom. When he went back to his desk he didn't feel the usual harsh stare coming from Carter.

He felt lighter now, letting someone know what he was going through had such a profound effect on him. And Norman was grateful and surprised by Carters response.

When he thought of Carter now he didn't imagine the smirking conceited face. He imagined Carter holding his shoulders making sure he wouldn't fall and imagined Carters concerned face staring at him.

Norman smiled and soon fell asleep.

He'd have to wait till Monday before seeing Carter again. He hoped this feeling would last through the weekend.

_^_

Carter sat in his lounge room armchair trying to get through the last few chapters of his newest book, but he couldn't concentrate, his mind kept going back to that once black and white Ex-FBI agent.

But now Carter couldn't help but look at him differently, he had had friends who were addicted to different sorts of drugs; the effects they left imprinted on their users were devastating. His oldest friend had died from a Triptocaine overdose when he was much younger. Trust Norman to get nestled in in his weak spot.

Now knowing that Norman suffered from Triptocaine abuse and had been suffering from it for some time, it made a lot more things clearer now. When they were working together on the OK case Norman always seemed in his own little world most of the time, completely detached from reality. Carter had thought him a bit of a lunatic ...but now, Carter couldn't help but see his oldest friend reflected in Norman.

Carter took off his reading glasses and rubbed his eyes, Norman always seemed so perfect. Carter always imagined him the sort of guy who got straight As in school, never got into fights, never got drunk and would eventually settle down and marry some broad and live happily ever after.

But now his flaws were open, and only Carter had seen them and that just made it all the more…more… Carter couldn't put his finger on the feeling; it just made it all the more of whatever it was.

Carter sighed and put his book aside. He got up and walked into the kitchen.

He was annoyed where his thoughts were going; his mind constantly replayed the moment where Norman had licked the blood from the top of his lip.

"Fuck! Get a hold of your self!" Carter yelled.

He didn't know where he was going with these thoughts; he just hoped that it was only his protective nature stepping in and nothing else.

He'd keep an eye on the kid, but he wasn't getting any more involved.

* * *

A/N =^_^=

Now it's going to be hard to keep them in character.


	7. Chapter 7

Monday couldn't come sooner for Norman. Saturday had gone without much trouble, it was only Sunday that the withdrawals came back along with the rare amount of searing pain.

Norman had only been at the Precinct for a couple of hours, doing mundane errands around the office until he saw Carter walk through the doors and through the office.

Norman paused standing at his desk holding a file as he watched Carter strip off his coat and gloves. A small red spot on Carters blue shirt had caught Normans attention, he may be a few meters away from the Lieutenant. But Norman had a killer eye for detail.

As Carter had sat down and ran his fingers through his hair Norman walked over.

"Is that blood?" Norman asked, now right next to Carters desk.

Carter, now only noticing him, turned to look at Norman then looked at his shirt.

Yep just a couple of inches under his collar were a few drops of blood.

"Ah fucking great."

Carter cursed and reached for a tissue to wipe the blood off, but it had already dried.

Normans face became serious as he questioned the Lieutenant.

"How did you get it Carter? Or should I ask, whose blood is it exactly?"

Carter grimaced as he replied

"None of your fucking business,"

Norman straightened his shoulders. His memories came back of Carter beating up nearly any suspect or witness they came across, it didn't matter that they got results. Norman was against Police Brutality.

_'Keep it under control Norman, you're on thin ice with Carter as it is'_

"I can't believe you Carter, you're still beating the shit out of people! And you know Perry wont always be there to cover your ass, and when that day comes, you'll have to shape up or your gonna lose your badge"

_'Ok, that wasn't such a great idea,'_ Norman thought

Carter quickly rose from his seat

"You better watch your fucking mouth Norman! now why don't you go back to your shitty desk and be a good little secretary."

Norman ground his teeth and matched Carters glare.

"Here's the report you wanted."

Norman dropped the report on Carters desk and returned to his own desk.

He sat down with a heavy sigh.

_'Fucking great, back to where we started.'_

Not long after Norman had started getting back to work Carter had received a call and raced out of the Precinct.

**

An hour later Cater returned with Ash and a middle-aged man, who was currently being dragged between them.

Norman watched them as they took the man into the questioning room.

Norman rested his head against his hands. He and probably most of the people in this office knew exactly what was about to go down in there.

It was another hour until Carter and Ash came out of the questioning room, looking very pleased with themselves.

Norman bared his teeth in anger as he saw blood on both their shirts.

Before they made it to the maze of desks they took a left turn, towards their lockers.

Norman couldn't see anymore from where he sat, he wasn't sure he wanted to look at either of them at the moment anyway.

Hardly any time had passed before Carter and Ash made their way to their desks.

_'Clean shirts, fucking assholes'_

Norman thought angrily.

_^_

Ash was sitting off to the side of Carters desk as they both talked.

Perry came out of his office and walked straight over to their desks.

"Any results?"

Perry asked.

Ash got up off Carters desk to stand next to Perry,

"Yeah we got him, the bastard just confessed" Ash replied.

Carter was sitting silently, just smirking.

"That's excellent! Well done boys, Lieutenant Phillips just rang, he wants you to return to the crime scene, but first I want a brief report written up, something I can give to the press."

Perry clapped them both on the shoulders before returning back to his office.

Norman was listening to the whole conversation as best he could from his position.

_'I just hope they got the right guy this time…'_

Ash sighed as he made his way over to his desk,

"Man, I hate writing reports, what's the fucking point until we've got everything?"

Carter just shook his head,

"You're on it, I'm heading back now."

Carter got out his chair and started to put his coat on.

Ash let out an annoyed sigh, and then he spotted Norman watching them.

Ash grinned as he made his way over to Norman's desk, Carter quickly put his gloves on, watching Ash and Norman.

Ash sat on the corner of Normans desk,

"Say princess, you wouldn't be able to write up a report for me would ya?"

Norman frowned and returned to his current work,

"I'm busy at the moment"

Ash slammed his hand down on Normans desk, stopping Norman from being able to read his file further.

Norman glared at Ash, who just responded by smiling,

"I'll get the folders for you."

Ash left for the filing cabinets.

Norman caught Carters eye as he was straightening his tie.

"Just do it Norman"

Carter said, turning away, walking over to his desk.

Ash came back with a small stack of folders,

"All the information is in there. Just write up a brief account of the case and that this guy…"

Ash opened up a folder with a picture in it of the man they had brought through earlier, and pointed to it,

"Is guilty."

Ash turned and headed out of the office, Carter was slower to leave; he seemed to have watched his and Ashs' interaction with interest.

Norman quickly stood up with his fists clenched.

"It's not worth it Norman. You'll get use to it."

Carter said, following Ash.

**

It was late at night by the time Ash and Carter came back. Ash left for the night nearly as soon as he arrived.

Carter stayed on, making several phone calls and doing some more paperwork.

Norman chose his timing, when he saw Carter hang up the phone and stretch Norman left his desk and went over to Carter.

"I gave Perry the report a few hours ago, it'll be in the press tomorrow morning." Norman informed, standing idly by Carters desk.

Carter just nodded, relaxing in his chair. He could see Norman wanted to say something else.

"As I went through the evidential reports on that Mary Sunderland case, I saw you have plenty of evidence to put that guy away…so why did you beat him?"

Norman asked, no accusation in his tone.

Carter seemed to grimace.

"If you went through those files, then you should know why we did it."

"A police officer should never let his own emotions get involved in a case Carter."

"Yeah, your right he shouldn't, but the way I see it; is that the families of Mary Sunderland and her three kids can't lay a finger on that prick. I'm not beating him for my own sick satisfaction if that's what you think…"

Norman opened his mouth to interrupt, but Carter didn't let him.

" I want the prick to bleed, for all he's done. They'll do worse to him when he's in jail, but those inmates don't know the families, I do. I've seen the effects of his crimes."

Carter finished, shifting in his seat.

He turned and looked at Norman,

"Does that answer your question Captain Humanity?" Carter asked sarcastically.

Norman didn't have anything to say at first,

"…er yeah, yeah it does."

Norman returned to his desk, not having anything more to say.

He packed up his few things and started to leave, only a few people were left in the whole precinct.

As Norman was about to leave the main office area, he paused and turned around.

"…Night Carter."

Carter turned his head towards him,

"Night."

Norman smiled softly as he made his way out of the building.

* * *

A/N =^_^=

...... so in this chapter I think it's pretty obvious how I feel about Carter beating up suspects. It's not alright...but if I had a son missing, I wouldn't care what they did to the culprit [actually I would be glad that they beat him up]...and you've got to admit, from Carters point of view Ethan Mars really did look like the OK.

Anyways!


	8. Chapter 8

Norman's withdrawals were getting better, most of the time [when he was at the Precinct] he didn't get anything, besides the small twitch of his hands.

Norman began to hope that it wasn't Carter that caused the change, that it was actually the environment and the precinct.

But that thought quickly stopped as soon as Carter left the building for more then a few hours. Normans withdrawals came back in a rush.

He almost wished he could be on patrol with the Lieutenant, but he knew that their somewhat friendly relationship would deteriorate quickly.

Ash, Norman reasoned, was now his least favorite person in the Precinct.

That being said, he hadn't talked to many people here.

As for Carter, Norman was starting to be able to navigate Carters good and bad days quite well. Making it possible for their friendly relationship to become more comfortable.

Ash, however, has less easy to navigate, especially when Ash seemed to go out of his way to harass him when he had a bad day. Norman could understand why, he was the new guy and seen from Ahs' perspective was the rookie. He was an easy target; having no real authority in the precinct.

Norman could handle himself fine, but that wasn't saying it didn't piss him off.

**

The day was Tuesday and so far it was going well; Norman had enough work to keep him occupied, he hated being bored.

Norman had just come back from the coffee shop across the street with his and Carters coffee.

He walked through the busy office and straight over to Carters desk, where the man, as always, was busy with something.

He placed the steaming cup of coffee on Carters desk and took a sip of his own

"New investigation?" Norman asked

"Nah, just wrapping up the Mary Sunderland case. Thanks for the coffee" Carter replied.

"Your welcome,"

Norman took another sip of his coffee, turning towards his desk...

But as he turned someone collided into him, his wrist snapped back along with the rest of his arm resulting in his coffee being poured down his front.

"Ah! Fuck!" Norman yelled.

"Goddamn watch it Ash!" Norman heard Carter yell at his partner.

Ash turn back around to look at Carter and Norman, with a quirk of his eyebrow he looked Norman up and down, surveying the damage he had inflicted upon the other man.

"Sorry"

Ash said blandly with a shrug of his shoulders. He then proceeded to sit down and ignore both Norman and Carter.

Normans coffee cup had fallen on the ground and rolled under Carters desk, not that it would stain the carpet; most of the coffee was scolding his front, the brown liquid quickly spreading and staining his crisp white shirt. Norman quickly gripped his shirt, pulling it as far away from his body as possible and made his way into the bathrooms.

Norman smacked open the bathroom door and made his way over to the far end of the bathroom. He thew his jacket onto a basin and yanked his tie loose from his neck. He hissed as he pulled his shirt up and over his head, popping the first few buttons. His whole front was bright red from the top middle of his pecks right down to his navel. Norman threw his shirt on the ground and turned on the taps, splashing his hands with the water he softly patted them on his abused skin.

As Norman quickly left for the bathroom, Carter made a b-line for the first aid cabinet at the back of the office. But not before shooting Ash and annoyed look, which of course Ash returned with a perplexed grimace.

Carter made his way over to the bathroom and as he opened the bathroom door he paused at the sight before him. Norman was standing at the far end of the room, his chest bare with a loosened tie handing from his neck. The light from the overhead fluorescence bulbs were flickering ever so briefly, illuminating Normans pale white skin. The middle of Norman's chest was sore and bright red. A droplet of water had caught Carters gaze;he watched as it lazily made it's way down from Normans outspread hand in the middle of his pecks, down and over the contours of Normans subtle abdominal muscles, and right down to his navel stopping as it fell onto his gold belt buckle.

Carter felt his mouth go dry at the sight, Norman was still unaware of Carters presence and continued to massage more water on his chest, but he quickly stopped as he felt someone was watching him, he looked up and saw Carter. The detective was standing dumbly in the door way.

Norman felt his face instantly turn the color of his scolded chest.

Carter cleared his throat and made his way over to Norman.

Carter picked up Normans discarded shirt and soaked it in the basin then wrung it out.

With the soaked shirt scrunched up in his hand Carter looked at Norman, seeming to ask permission.

Norman made a small sound at the back of his throat, strangely embarrassed and nodded.

His hands fell uselessly by his side as Carter's large hand gripped Norman's waist and pulled him a bit closer. He only stood a little ways from Norman, tilting his head so he could get a good view of the other mans chest. He sponged the wet shirt on Norman's sore chest, slowly making his way down.

Norman could feel himself start to shiver, at first he thought it was from the withdrawal, but this felt too different. The heat radiating from Carters hand was nothing like the heat from his burnt skin. It sent shivers up and down Normans spine, nearly causing a small moan to escape.

Norman bit his bottom lip; he was wide eyed with confusion. He wasn't aware of the searing pain of his chest anymore. Instead he had become acutely aware of Carters hand on his waist and Carter moving in front of him. His could feel his heart pounding madly away in his chest and hoped Carter couldn't feel the effect he seemed to have on him.

Carters fingers would flex and grip tighter at different times as to where he was applying pressure to on his chest. The sudden rush of sensations was nearly enough to sweep him off his feet, Norman was finding it harder to keep a steady pace of breath. His breaths were starting to come out short and bitten off.

Norman had to stop this, before he did something stupid.

"ah, I c-can take it f-from here Carter" Norman shakily spoke, trying desperately to get a hold of his own voice.

Carter nodded and passed the wet shirt over to Norman.

Norman proceeded to copy Carter and softly sponged his tender chest.

"I brought you some of this"

Carter said and placed a small tube of anti-septic cream on the basin top,

"It should help."

"Thanks"

Norman replied, putting down the shirt and picking up the tube.

"Looks like it will heal fine, might not even blister if you keep that up"

Norman nodded at Carters observation.

Norman opened the tube and started to apply the cream to his skin.

Carter cleared his throat again, suddenly feeling tongue tied as he watched Norman massage the cream into his skin. Carter quickly turned around and headed for the door.

"I'll find you a clean shirt."

Before Norman could thank Carter, the bathroom door had closed.

Norman let out a heavy sigh and lent on the basin.

His side where Carter's hand had been was still tingling and Norman could hear his heart beat pounding in his ears.

Norman breathed deeply; trying to not get overrun with the bliss he felt when Carter was holding him.

_'Fuck fuck fuck, oh god what the fuck?!'_

Norman quickly wet his face with his clean hand, trying to bring himself back under control.

He heaved another sigh and got back to spreading the cream over his burn skin.

The door to the bathroom opened and Carter came in, holding a blue shirt.

He walked briskly over to Norman and handed him the shirt.

"The office doesn't have any spares, you'll have to borrow one of mine" Carter stated, leaving no room for argument.

"Ah…" Norman cleared his throat

"And for future reference, I suggest you keep at least one shirt at the precinct"

Carter said looking around the room, trying to focus on anything but Norman.

Norman nodded,

"...Thanks Carter"

"Don't mention it"

Carter turned and quickly left the bathroom, leaving a somewhat dazed Norman standing in the bathroom holding his blue shirt.

Norman quickly got a hold of himself and started to unbutton the shirt. His mind was a whirl wind as he slipped on Carters shirt and buttoned it up.

_'shit, this was not how it was suppose to go, it's getting more fucking confusing each day'_

As he tucked the shirt into this pants Norman froze and looked down,

_'Oh god…I'm hard'_

Norman felt all the blood drain from his face as devastation rushed over him.

_'Holy shit…what if Carter noticed!? Oh god!'_

Norman finished tucking his shirt in and grabbed his jacket,

_'Ok, just forget about it, it's completely normal…wait…is it? No it's not fucking normal…just get a grip man, just wait for it to go down and you can forget this ever happened'_

Norman let out a heavy sigh but as he breathed back in all he could smell was Carter.

_'Oh goddamn I'm wearing his shirt'_

Norman hoped no one noticed how long it took for him to come out of the bathroom. As he slowly made his way over to his desk he realized that if anyone had noticed his incident with Ash, that it was completely forgotten now.

The Precinct was still busy and he guessed no one had even noticed he had been absent from his desk for the past twenty minutes.

To make matters even better, Carter was nowhere to be seen.

Norman sighed happily and got back to work.

**

The rest of the day had gone by blissfully for Norman; the feeling of mortification had been over shadowed by the absolute elation he now felt.

Norman breathed in deeply, Carters scent filling his senses. It was like smelling euphoria and he couldn't get enough of it. And this observation had Norman particularly worried.

Norman knew and accepted the strange fact that Carter had something to do with controlling his withdrawals. The closer Carter got the better Norman felt. But how much willpower did Norman have to stop himself from wanting Carter closer, wanting that delicious feeling more?

Norman wasn't sure, and he certainly didn't want to have to put it to the test.

He was going to keep Carter at a reasonable distance, their interactions would only occur if Norman needed....whatever it was that Carter gave him and that would be that. Once he was stable he would pack his bags and head back to Washington.

Norman sighed happily.

_'A perfect plan.'_

**

That night Norman was sitting on his hotel bed, reading the listings for apartments for rent in the area. He figured he might be here for a few months, so why stay at a hotel?

Carters blue shirt had been hang up on the side of the dresser, Norman had thought of having it cleaned and ironed ready to give back to the Lieutenant...but Norman couldn't bring himself to erase Carters scent just yet.

Norman tossed the newspaper aside and pressed his hands together.

Sighing loudly he made his way over to the shirt. Stopping just a few inches before touching it Norman reached out his hand, smoothing his fingers over the small white buttons at the collar.

_'I wonder what it would be like to...'_

Norman quickly stopped himself from thinking further. Frustrated he turned away from Carters shirt and walked over to the phone. He could easily dial the front desk and ask for Carters shirt to be washed and ironed...Norman turned back around.

_' I'm going insane! It's just his shirt!'_

Norman pressed his hands together and sighed.

_'I'm not thinking about this now, I'll deal with it later. Right now I just want to sleep'_

* * *

A/N =^_^=

Ok the formatting is driving me insane x[


	9. Chapter 9

Without knowing it Carter and Norman had fallen into a routine. In the morning as soon as both men were in the precinct Norman would go across the street and buy them both a coffee.

When Norman arrived at Carters desk with the fresh brew they would briefly talk about the case Carter was on or anything else that had captured their attention that morning.

It had only been about two weeks since Norman had started at the precinct, and already Carter found himself looking forward to his mornings at the precinct with Norman. And it wasn't just the coffee, Norman was an insightful and dedicated Agent (shame about the drug abuse though) and Carter was beginning to really appreciate how good he was (though he'd never admit to it, he had a reputation to uphold...which of course wasn't going so well anymore).

Back when they were on the OK case, Carter had no patience for Norman. He didn't care for his 'psychologist babble' and he had even less time for his attitude.

But now he could talk about his current case with Norman without the feeling that his case was going to be taken over by some bureaucratic little brat from Washington.

Norman gave him his opinion on the suspects and their mental state of mind, Carter never handed over the files to him though, keeping him from doing actual profiling. He had to make assumptions on what information Carter gave him. Their opinions clashed many times, but both seemed to want to put that behind themselves as quickly as possible, both wanting the routine to continue.

**

It was Wednesday, the day after Bathroom Incident Number Two, as Norman referred to it.

When Norman arrived at the precinct Carter was already at his desk, talking to a teenage girl and an older woman.

Norman headed straight for his desk and sat down. He hadn't had Carters shirt cleaned or ironed. In fact Norman didn't even bring it in today to return to the Lieutenant.

He had left it on his dresser, Norman didn't want to admit it, but it was strangely comforting. Especially this morning when we woke up to the searing pain racing through his head. As soon as Norman could physically get out of bed we went straight over to Carters shirt and buried his face in the fabric. It was only when the pain subsided and his mind was able to unwind that Norman had noticed what he had just done out of instinct. It was so frighteningly bizarre that Norman flopped onto his bed and sat there for several moments, seeming to be in shock.

Norman shook his head, he didn't want to be reminded of the incident or any other incident with Carter ever again. He didn't understand what it meant and he didn't want to know what it might mean.

He looked over to Carters desk, the two women were now standing, saying their farewells to the Lieutenant.

Norman quickly left his desk and walked through the office, Carter and Norman exchanged nods as Norman made his way through.

Several moments later Norman returned with two coffees. As he came towards Carters desk, Carter rose from his chair and took the steaming cup from Normans hand, his fingers brushing across the other mans. Norman was sure he wasn't the only one who felt the shock of electricity fire between them. But Carter gave no sign of having felt anything, he just turned away from Norman and looked towards the Ex-Agents desk.

"Have you brought my shirt back?" Carter asked, turning back towards Norman.

Norman was taken aback by Carters question.

_'Of course he'd want it back! What am I meant to say? No I didn't bring it back because I enjoy smelling it at night'_

Norman cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I must have forgot, I'll return it tomorrow"

Carter nodded,

"Just make sure you do, otherwise I'll think you keeping it as a keep sake" Carter sarcastically joked.

Norman laughed nervously and quickly drank his coffee.

Carter turned and sat down, he placed his coffee cup upon his desk and started rifling though his papers. Norman took it as a sign to leave but Carter spoke as Norman turned to leave.

"How's your burn?"

"i-it's a lot better, it's going fine, it shouldn't blister, yeah it's good"

Norman quickly said, finding himself babbling. He cleared his throat. The rush of emotion he felt as those memories of yesterday came bursting back, completely threw him off.

Carter looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow.

"Good to hear."

Norman nodded quickly, he felt a sudden spike of anxiety,

_'holy fuck whats wrong with me!? All those years of training for the FBI and I can't even keep it together when confronted with something like this! Holy crap those ARI did a number on me'_

Carter could see Norman found the ordeal yesterday difficult to handle. For what reason Carter wasn't exactly sure, but he had his suspicions.

When Carter had seen Norman bare chested and wet in the bathroom the other day Carter had wanted to touch him, and he gave into that selfish impulse. The effect it seemed to have on the Ex-Agent was completely surprising. When Carter had gripped his waist he could feel him start to shiver, first Carter thought it was a reaction to the burn, then he started to think he was shaking out of fear. Carter couldn't blame him if it was, the fight they had in the interrogation room was still in both their minds. But as Carter softly padded the wet shirt over Normans skin he started to wonder if Norman's reaction was made from something else entirely.

The realization that he wanted to touch Norman was enough to make any further interactions with the Ex-Agent difficult, but Carter reasoned that he was a man and since he hadn't gotten any in a while, seeing Norman half naked was a bit of a turn on...minus the fact that Norman was a man also. Now there was a rabbit hole Carter did not want to go down.

Carter ran his hands through his hair,

_'great, as if my life wasn't confusing enough.'_

_**_

The precincts activities had slowed and the pace of the officers with it. Carter had left a few hours ago, and with most of Normans responsibilities finished, the Ex-Agent found himself with some spare time.

Norman sat at his desk, drumming his fingers on the flat surface. The filing cabinets had captured Normans attention, he stared a them intently, thinking of all the secrets they held. All the information that the general public never got to see. And the set of updated files that held the information on one of his life's biggest failures.

Norman slowly made his way over to the filing cabinets, he was now very familiar with their format, finding those files would be easy

After opening a couple of different draws and searching through them, Norman came across a large group of files fastened together with a large rubber band. Under the case number in bold red writing read 'The Origami Killer Case'.

Norman tucked the files under his arm and made his way over to his desk, , checking to see if anyone was watching him. It's wasn't illegal, the case had surely been closed since he spoke to Carter. But he couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding to what he was doing.

Norman sat down and placed the files in pile on his desk. After untying the rubber band Norman reached for the first file, he went through the evidence slowly, careful not to miss anything.

He noted that there had been some evidence added since he left the case.

After finishing the bulk of the files Norman sat back in his chair, his palms pressed together. Right in front of him, sitting in the middle of his desk sat the accused criminal file. Once he opened this file he would finally know who the Origami Killer was.

Norman heaved a sigh as he lent forward and picked up the file. He felt slightly anxious and excited, he would finally know! He hoped he would be able to put his failure behind him.

Normans eyes widened as he took in all the information, the file had information on the perpetrators past, mental evaluation and his connections.

Once finished with the file Norman left it open on his desk, he sat back in his chair with his palms pressed together.

_'I was so close! I was so close that whole time! But, but I kept missing critical things'_

Norman sighed agitatedly and lent forward, he reached to close the file, but a voice stopped him.

"Pretty fucked isn't it?" Norman heard someone say

Norman quickly closed the file and looked up to see Carter standing in front of his desk.

Norman cleared his throat,

"Yeah it is, not that it's a surprise though."

Carter sighed and sat on the corner of his desk,

"The shit that goes on in this world" Carter said, seeming to be in his own world.

"You know I use to know the guy, Scott Shelby."

"You did?" Norman asked.

Carter seemed to smile, but it was quickly replaced with a frown,

"Yeah, he use to be a Lieutenant here, years ago."

Norman gasped,

"that would explain..."

"The gold watch?" Carter quickly added.

Norman nodded with a small smile,

"Yeah that and a lot of other things."

Carter smiled back and got off his desk

"Well you were right about one thing, the killer was a cop."

Norman tried to laugh, he still felt bad that he had accused Carter of those horrible crimes.

Carter was walking back to his desk but was stopped by Normans call,

"Carter!"

Carter walked back to Normans desk, where the Ex-Agent was now standing.

"I want to apologize again for accusing you of being the Origami Killer" Norman said.

"Forget about it Norman. Everyone lost their shit a bit during the case, I accused Ethan Mars of being the Origami Killer remember. Anyway... I now know what you were going through."

Carter replied, the last part of his sentence coming out quietly, as if he didn't want to be saying it. Cater waved Norman down as he tried to say something else.

"Now put those files back before Perry sees them, that old bastard will loose his shit if he sees you reading them. He'll probably think your doing a secret investigation for the FBI on our cases" Carter sarcastically joked, though hinting his own first suspicions of Norman into the suggestion.

Norman nodded, he had picked up on Carters suspicions in what he had just said. He couldn't blame him, it did look suspicious. But he couldn't care less about what the others thought. He had a plan and once it was complete he was out of here.

"I'm sure the whole Precinct think that's why I am here Carter" Norman replied uninterestedly as he picked up the set of files.

Carter scoffed,

"You really think the whole precinct has the time to notice your arrival and form an opinion on it? I'm sorry to tell you Norman but you're not that interesting"

Norman laughed along with Carter as they both made their way to the filing cabinets.

As Norman put all the files back accordingly, Carter lent on the cabinet, looking at Norman intently.

"So hows it going?" Carter asked, suddenly serious.

Norman turned surprised at Carters question. If Carter didn't have such a serious expression Norman would have thought it was a pick up line.

Norman closed the cabinets with a loud bang but the sound was swallowed up by the noise of the precinct.

Carter was so close now, his eyes glued to Normans as he waited for an answer. But Normans answer got caught in his throat, had Carters eyes always been that rich dark blue color?

Norman quickly caught himself and formed an answer.

"It's alright, the burn is fine. As I said before" Norman nodded happily, looking else where but at Carter.

Carter folded his arms over his chest, his eyes bore into the side of Normans face. That obviously wasn't the answer he was looking for.

Norman looked at him from the corner of his eye

_'how does he do that? We are the same height, yet he seems like he's towering over the top of me'_

Carter moved closer to Norman, succeeding in capturing his attention but unintentionally putting the other man at unease at the proximity.

"That's not the answer I was looking for Norman" Carter stated bluntly.

Norman could feel his pulse rise, his heart starting to beat faster. His eyes were locked onto Carters. The rest of the precinct completely forgotten. Norman swallowed loudly.

"How are you coping with the withdrawals?" Carter asked. Making it clear this time what he wanted to know.

Norman frowned at Carter,

"Not here Carter!" Norman anxiously whispered.

"Then where Norman? You going to invite me over to your place to have this little chat?" Carter snapped sarcastically.

"Answer me" Carter finished in a harsh whisper.

Norman grimaced at what sounded like a command.

"It's going fine Carter. ok!" Norman sighed.

He pushed himself off the filing cabinets and started to walk back to his desk. Norman turned his head slightly, Carter was still leaning against the cabinets with this arms crossed, still watching him with his intense gaze.

_'why do I have the feeling that I am being studied?' _

Norman thought anxiously.

* * *

A/N =~_^=

:D. I'm not 100% happy with Chapter 8 & 9. But i don't want to change them...hmm

Oh yeah and i have taken the POV change symbols out because now i believe the editor is being my friend. And they annoyed me anyways _ I didn't like how they looked. And they were only needed because the paragraphs wouldn't stay put.


	10. Chapter 10

Norman was sitting on his bed. The whole room was cloaked in darkness, the only light coming from the bed side clock and the seedy fluorescent light streaming through the window shades. He sat staring at the glowing red digits of his bed side clock, it read 11:31pm.

His right leg involuntary shook like a jack-hammer, driving his frustrations into the floor while his hands were folded and quivering his his lap. His teeth gnawed and ripped at his lips. Agitation rolled off him in heavy waves.

It was Friday night and Norman hadn't seen Carter since Wednesday. Norman hadn't seen the man once and the effect that had on Norman was quick to show.

His withdrawals came screaming back, echoing thunderously in his head. He craved for Triptocaine, he craved for Carters company. But he couldn't have either. His nerves were shot and he couldn't sleep.

Thursday night he had taken three Temazepam sleeping pills. They had done the job, he was knocked out all night, but unfortunately he was knocked out during most of the day. It didn't help with the withdrawals, just the sleep. So drifting in and out of a autumn forest while already feeling like you were going to vomit did not help at all.

Norman decided he wasn't taking any more Temazepam, he had an addictive personality, and although the grogginess he felt in the morning was horrible, the actual sleep was just what he needed. And he could easily see himself getting addicted to the sleeping tablets.

Norman couldn't understand why the withdrawals hit him so hard with only two days of not seeing Carter. He had managed those days fine before, hell the weekends were usually fine, that being said the withdrawals where not as aggressive.

But that was just it. Why were they so bad this time?

He had only been sitting on the bed for a few minutes, constantly needing to get up and move, which only resulted in him pacing the small room.

His shift at the precinct had ended hours ago, yet Norman still wore his suit pants and shoes. His white shirt and tie however had been traded in for Carters blue shirt as soon as he arrived back from work. Carters scent had been virtually erased now. Ever since Wednesday night Norman had taken to wearing Carters shirt. It was a little loose on him but Norman couldn't care less, the calm that followed wearing it was astonishing. But that calm had left with Carters androgenic scent.

Norman sank his head into his hands with a loud sigh. The room around him spun, colours merged and scenes changed. He could hear the soft lapping of water around his ears, he could taste the hot red dust and could feel the cool autumn breeze blow through his dishevelled hair.

"Oh my god I have to get out of here" Norman breathed heavily, "Maybe he's back at the station."

Norman slowly made his way to standing, ever so carefully he reached for his jacket situated on the back of his desk chair. Norman squeezed his eyes shut in frustration as he was forced to slowly pull his jacket on, the risk of fainting was close, he could feel it.

Grabbing his keys and locking his door Norman made it to the elevator without fainting.

_'So far so good'_ Norman thought bitterly.

Outside on the streets it was starting to pour down with rain, Norman stood under the hotels small bearing as he waited for a taxi to stop by, he couldn't risk walking in his condition.

The sky and everything around him; the buildings, the streets and even the odd passer-by seemed to have been painted in the same shade of grey. The wind whipped around the buildings and down into the street, throwing heavy rain drops onto Normans face and down his neck.

_'Shit, I hate this fucking weather' _

Norman leaned against the chilling pole of the bearing, careful to steady himself in case of a 'dizzy attack.'

After some waiting around a taxi finally came and Norman made his way to the station.

* * *

The ride to the station didn't take long since it was just a few blocks away from his hotel. After paying the driver the small fare Norman stood outside the station.

The bright fluorescent lights from the precincts windows shone onto the street; the light catching Normans cold breaths.

Although feeling uncertain Norman quickly made his way into the building. The front waiting room was busy as was the rest of the precinct. Officers darted around the front room leading people this way and that. Norman quickly manoeuvred his way through the front, he passed the front secretary Cheryl and gave a quick nod before making his way into the office area.

Normans heart was pounding loudly as he scanned the desks for Carter. Neither Carter or Ash were at their desks. Norman was sure that the level of distress he felt was clearly written on his face, Carter wasn't here.

_'oh fuck this was a mistake, oh Jesus Christ I can't let anyone see me like this'_

Norman turned back around, heading for the precinct doors. If his shoulders weren't shaking they'd be slumped in defeat right now.

Before Norman could exit the office area a voice from behind stopped him,

"You look like shit."

Norman had trouble controlling the wide grin that threatened to take up his whole face as he turned around and saw Carter standing by his desk. Behind him Ash was just leaving Perry's office, closing the door.

"What are you doing here?"

Carter asked.

Norman was barely able to walk casually over to Carter, the feeling and need to get closer faster to Carter was nearly uncontrollable.

The closer Norman came, the closer the answer for Normans late night drop by became apparent. Carter gave him another look up and down. Norman looked like a complete crackpot. His suit pants were wrinkled, the shirt he was wearing was barely tucked in and was also heavily wrinkled, not to mention it looked about a size or two too big for the Ex-Agent. He wasn't wearing a tie and the top buttons were left undone.

_'is that my shirt he's wearing!?'_ Carter thought perplexed.

Normans hair, although short, was a complete mess. And his jacket seemed to have just been thrown on. His eyes were blood shot and his face was a sickly pale colour. All round Norman looked like had been through a three day bender.

Both men were now only a few feet apart standing next to Carters desk.

Carter spied Ash sitting down at his own desk, watching them both intently. Carter inched closer to Norman.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here looking the way you are Norman?" Carter harshly whispered.

Carter moved closer to Norman and grabbed his forearm, suddenly turning and pulling them both into the bathroom.

Although the calm washed over him from having Carter so close and holding his arm, Norman couldn't help but feel a small amount of dread as they came closer to the bathroom. He just hoped that whatever happened in there, he didn't leave calling the situation Bathroom Incident Number Three.

As they opened the bathroom door Carter quickly looked around the room and stalls for anyone that could bear witness to their conversation.

Satisfied that they were alone Carter shoved Norman away from him into the bathroom wall.

Norman glared at Carter as the man slapped his hands onto the tiled walls beside Normans head.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing!" Carter growled out, his face only a couple of inches from Normans.

"You walk into a fucking police station looking like a fucking junkie!"

Norman kept silent. But inside his heart was beating loudly, his pulse was racing and he had difficultly concentrating on what Carter was actually saying. Instead his focus was on everything the man did; they way his lips moved, the quirks of his eyebrows and the way his shoulders seemed to bunch up as if he was about to lung at Norman. Carters deep blue expressive eyes bore into Normans pale silver blood shot eyes.

"Answer me!" Carters harsh command snapped Norman out of his stupor.

Norman matched Carters heavy stare.

"Not here Carter" Norman stated bluntly, his breathing becoming heavier.

_'is it just me or has the air in here become heavy?'_

Carter slowly pushed himself off the wall and walked backwards a few feet, never breaking eye contact with Norman.

As Norman let out a sigh Carter turned around and ruthlessly ran his hands through his hair.

_'What the fuck am I doing? He's not my charity case'_

Carter quickly composed himself and turned back to Norman, who was still leaning against the bathroom wall.

"Ok, lets go, we'll grab a beer or something."

Norman nodded and pushed himself off the wall.

"First you've got to tidy yourself up" Carter said, walking towards Norman.

Carters face looked slightly agitated as he gripped the front of Normans jacket and gave it a quick tug. Norman was so surprised by the sudden pull that he nearly fell into Carter. But Carter had a firm grip and Norman only ended up staggering oddly, his hands quickly reaching for Carters wrists to steady himself.

"Jesus Christ Norman" Carter breathed, obviously irritated.

After straightening out Normans jacket Carter made quick work of buttoning up Normans first few buttons.

"Like the shirt hey?" Carter asked, smirking at Normans reaction. He obviously forgot he was wearing Carters shirt.

Norman stammered for an answer,

"Y-yeah it's good."

Carter stepped away from Norman, leaving the other man to tuck in his own shirt, well actually Carters shirt.

"I will want it back you know? Cleaned and ironed"

Norman quickly nodded and started tucking the shirt into his pants.

It was a messy job but Carter reasoned that he looked reasonable now, he could probably pass for a officer who had a long night...except for the fact that he wasn't an officer.

Norman finished by brushing his pants, trying to straighten out the wrinkles.

"How do I look?" Norman asked trying to flatten his hair with his hands.

Carter raised and eyebrow and scoffed,

"About as good as when you came back from visiting Mad Jack."

Norman allowed himself to smile at Carters joke.

They both made their way out of the bathroom and into the office area.

Ash, Carter noted, was still sitting at his desk. He threw a glance at Carter and Norman, then went back to looking at his computer screen.

Carter grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and Norman wondered why he hadn't seen it when he first came into the precinct.

After receiving a coarse stare from Ash, both men left the precinct through the back entrance; leading down to the bottom floor and officers car park.

The lights on the black Sedan flashed into life with a click from Carter's car keys.

Carter slid onto the drivers seat and closed the door, Norman quickly took his place in the passengers seat.

The ride to the pub, as Norman had figured would be their destination, was quiet and peaceful. Well for Norman anyway, Norman had no way of knowing what Carter was thinking right now. The man was quite and seemed to be lost in thought.

Norman sighed happily, closing his eyes and sinking into the leather seats.

_'If only I could have this feeling forever.'_ Norman thought contentedly.

The soft hum of the engine mixed with the pitter patter of rain on the car windows and the subtle scent of Carter was nearly enough to send Norman off to a well deserved sleep.

But all too soon for Normans liking the car had stopped and Carter was getting out.

He quickly unbuckled himself and got out of the car. Norman quickly took in his surroundings.

* * *

A/N =^_^=

Yay 3

Also, I've noticed that while I'm typing this out and transferring the new chapters into new pages, the language selection keeps changing, so I'm just letting you know I am using Australian spelling from now on. Which means for you Americans out there ;D some words will look misspelt, like emphasising [no 'z'] etc.

Yay new problems with the editor T_____T;. The line breaker usually means a new day but in this case the editor didn't like the stars ** that represent a sort of lapse in time [for lack of a better word]


	11. Chapter 11

They had travelled to the east of the city, a little ways from the main city complex. They had parked on a moderately quiet street. All the shops along the pavement were closed except for a bright and noisy bar at the far end.

The wind whipped Carters coat back and forth, the rain was heavy and pelted against store windows. Norman followed Carter up the street, just as Norman guessed they were about to cross the road Carter made a quick right turn down a cobble stoned alley way.

The alley way its self was only a few meters wide and each side housed small doors leading to dark and unknown shops. At the end of the alley to the side there swayed a bars sign above a green wooden door with a brass handle.

Norman pulled his jacket tighter around himself, the rain was becoming heavier by the minute and the wind blew harshly down the alley way. As Carter grasped the brass handle Norman looked up to the old sign hanging above them. It read 'The Commodore' with a picture of an old galleon on it. Norman could scarcely hear the noise from the pub through the wooden door, and he began to try and think of the kind of place that Carter would go to.

As Carter pushed open the door the dim light from the entry illuminated the cobble stones in the alley way. Norman followed Carter in, he followed suit by taking off his jacket and shaking the water off. The entry they were in was small and dimly lit, there were jackets hanging and only a few umbrellas perched against the dark green walls.

They folded their jackets across their arms and Carter led Norman through a glass tinted door into the main pub. It wasn't exactly what Norman had expected, he assumed Carter would hang out in some dodgy flee bitten pub at the wrong end of town. But on closer inspection on that thought, that would have been stupid, considering Carter would have to be know very well by now by the locals and not just the good kind either.

Just the same as the entry way, the pub was dimly lit. The ceiling was low and had thick beams running across to either end. There was the bar on one side of the room and only a couple of chairs and tables dotted the middle of the room. The majority of seating was comprised of burgundy booths; they lined the walls and even formed small coves at the end of the room. The windows were stained glass with pictures of different historical ships on each window.

As for the people in the bar, they didn't look like the kind of people you'd want to strike up a casual conversation with. Though they didn't seem dodgy. It just didn't seem like the place you came to meet people. There were a group of men in leather playing cards at a table near the bar, and more playing pool. As Norman and Carter made their way over to the bar, Norman could see the place was somewhat busy, at least half of the booths were taken up.

Carter leaned an elbow on the bar as the barmen came over.

"I'll have two Coopers and Washington here will have the same."

Carter said inclining his head towards Norman.

Norman raised an eyebrow in question,

_'I guess Carter ordered beer of some description, but did he just call me Washington?'_

The barmen supplied them with four large glasses filled with amber liquid, Carter paid for his and took his glasses, signalling for Norman do to the same. Norman quickly pulled out his wallet and paid the barmen. Wrapping his hands around the cold glasses he followed Carter over to a booth at the far end of the pub. The booth was quite large, it had about six leather sections where one could sit. As Carter sat down on one side, Norman begrudgingly sat down across from him. He guessed it would look odd if he sat next to Carter when there were five vacant seats, two of them being across from Carter. They both sat in silence for a few minutes, Norman looked around the pub and Carter looked at Norman.

Finally Carter broke the silence.

"So you gonna tell me what's up?"

Norman took a sip of his beer then answered,

"Nothing is up Carter" Norman lied, sighing.

Carter frowned and placed his arms onto the table, leaning forward.

"Don't give me that bullshit Norman. Have you regressed?"

"What? No, no I haven't!"

Norman exclaimed.

Carter leaned back in the leather cushions, he studied Norman, while Norman sat uncomfortably across from him.

"I just had a rough couple of days, that's all. It's because of the withdrawals, you wouldn't understand."

Norman said, taking a mouthful of beer.

Carters face contorted into a sneer, Norman kept his beer glass in his hand and was about to grab his other one, worried that Carter would slam his fist on the table causing the beer glasses to fall and spill all over Normans already damp form.

But instead Carter kept his hands still and replied.

"You think I got to Lieutenant without dealing with addicts? Cut the shit Norman, how are you gonna deal with this?"

"I am dealing with it Carter, it's just going to take some time."

Norman sighed, placing his beer glass down.

"I just came to the precinct because it helps me focus."

Carter took a mouthful of his beer and wiped the small amount of foam off his beard with the back of his hand.

"So what, walking into the precinct half cut is dealing with it?" Carter questioned fiercely.

"Fucking hell Carter! Why do you give a shit anyway!" Norman retorted just as fiercely.

Carter shifted in his seat uncomfortably and looked around the pub, he adjusted his tie before replying.

"You're writing a lot of reports for the station right? Well if you're fucked up while on shift then the reports get fucked up, and then everything goes to hell."

Norman ground his teeth together.

_'Goddamn Carter and his attitude!'_

"I'm not one to let my personal life interfere with my career!..Goddamn it" Norman finished with a sigh.

Carter leaned back in the leather cushions and crossed his arms.

"Well you could have fooled me. What with you stumbling into the station today." Carter said with a sneer.

Norman threw his hands up in the air,

_'He just doesn't fucking get it!....shit...how the hell is he meant to anyway?...doesn't matter it's none of his business.'_

Norman pressed his hands together and took a deep sigh,

"Listen Carter, you obviously don't understand and I don't actually have to tell you anything."

Norman watched with worry as Carters facial expression suddenly changed; Carters jaw locked, his shoulders tensed with his head ever so slightly tilted to the side. His eyes were intense and his eyebrows were drawn into a deep frown as he stared at Norman.

Carter looked like he was about to lung across the table at Norman. Norman saw as Carters hand twitched and he took a quick scan of the current patrons in the pub.

It all happened within a couple of seconds and Norman was expecting to be hit, he was readying him self for another fight with Carter. But what happened next completely surprised Norman.

Carter looked out to the stain glass window and stroked a thumb over his lips. Carter brought himself back under control. He turned back towards Norman,

"Let me just remind you _Jayden_, that while you're working at the precinct you're working under me! I'm you're fucking superior, and lets not forget I know your dirty little secret." Carter sneered, emphasising Normans last name.

Norman sat back, feeling a bit stunned. He was so use to being called 'Norman' by Cater, that the use of his formal name caught him by surprise, not to mention the first thoughts that came to mind because of that.

_'Does that mean we've gone back to how things were during the OK case?...shit, why is it so easy to step over the line with Carter?'_

Norman ran a hand through his hair sighing,

"Listen Carter that's not fair..."

"Nothings fucking fair Norman" Carter interrupted cutting Norman off.

"Now..." Carter sighed, trying to calm himself down. "...next time don't come to the precinct, no matter how much it helps it's not worth loosing your job over. If Perry were to see you, you'd be fucked. You better shape up by Monday, no doubt Ash will be telling Perry about your late night drop by."

Carter informed, swallowing more of his beer.

Norman sighed in understanding, staring into his beer glass as Carter spoke.

_'Shit, there he goes again, completely surprising me. He's like a fucking pendulum'_

"And why do you care Carter, huh? You seemed pretty fucking keen to get rid of me during the OK case!"

Norman all but shouted, drawing the attention from the crowd in the pub. Carter took a large mouthful of beer and proceeded to wipe his beard free from froth. He looked around the bar uncomfortably before answering. Norman watched him curiously, crossing his arms.

_'Fucking hell, and there I go. Like a fucking pendulum.'_ Norman thought with a heavy sigh.

"Fucking hell Norm" Carter sighed heavily, running his thumb across his bottom lip.

Norman blinked,

_'Did Carter just call me Norm? First Washington now Norm?'_

Suddenly a thought came to Norman, he quickly spoke before Carter could say a word.

"Why won't you be the one to tell Perry?" Norman asked curiously.

Norman could see that Carter was trying to keep his face emotionless, he wasn't very good at hiding his discomfit at the question.

Carter almost praised the heavens when a fight broke out at the pool table a couple of meters away from them. In the loud commotion Carter hoped the question would be forgotten.

"Aren't you going to do anything!" Norman exclaimed.

The two men who were currently fighting were dealing blow for blow. A few chairs were thrown into the mix as both men stumbled backwards into the tables. The sound of splintering timber echoed throughout the pub, catching everyone's attention.

Carter smirked,

"I'm off duty."

Carter couldn't stop his smirk from growing at Normans disbelieving expression.

Before Norman could say anything more or interfere himself, a huge man who seemed to have appeared from thin air dragged both men through the glass tinted door, through the entry. And guessing from the loud bang following, had thrown them out onto the street and slammed the door.

Carter cleared his throat,

"Anyway, they've got a bouncer."

Carter felt a bit odd; the feeling to explain himself further wasn't what he was use to. The satisfaction he felt upon seeing Normans relieved face was all the more foreign to him.

The pub had quietened down once more and Norman was tempted to ask Carter again why he wouldn't be the one to try and get him fired.

The unease the question had inspired in Carter had Norman curious. He knew they were getting along, but he never thought that Carter would pass up an opportunity to get Norman thrown out of the precinct for a second time. And the fact that Carter had pulled him aside, cleaned him up and taken him out of the precinct to avoid suspicion left Norman feeling warm and fuzzy if not completely confused.

He knew the animosity that use to be between them was now gone. But Norman never would have expected that Carter, once the man who pulled a gun on him, would care for him. Perhaps 'care' was too strong a word.

Norman stopped and thought back,

_'Maybe...maybe Carter wants me around as much as I want..No..need him around...It's fine. Whatever. He doesn't want to see me fired. Good. That's good for me'_

As Norman finished off his first glass of beer Carter watched him intently.

His attitude towards the Ex-Agent had changed dramatically, without Carter really knowing the reasons why.

When Perry first informed Carter of Normans position at the precinct, Carter fumed with the animosity he once felt for Norman. But with the pressure off and not having to share a case with Norman, Carter began to see Norman for what he was...and more. Carter wasn't homosexual, he had never...never been with a guy before. And the thought of being with another man was just disgusting. But the image of Norman with his chest bare and damp, sent a hot flush straight through him.

"I don't buy that shit for one second that your substitute for Tripto is hanging out at the station"

Carter stated suddenly.

Norman was blank for a reply, he had hoped and thought that the conversation about his past addiction and current withdrawal was over. Apparently not.

Carter leaned over the table, capturing Normans undivided attention.

"So what are you really using to get you through it? Methadone? Marijuana? Or a mix?"

Norman sighed in frustration and rubbed a hand over his face.

"I know it sounds like bullshit Carter, but I'm not using anything to help with the withdrawals! And I'm not about to start using Methadone to help me through it...chances are I would get addicted to that. You've gotta remember, it's not just the withdrawals I'm dealing with, I was taking Tripto for a reason right, to deal with the effects of the ARI...so I'm not just dealing with one thing here"

Carter nodded in understanding, he had forgotten about those glasses and the effect they seemed to have on Norman,

_'Those fucking bureaucrats; handing out deadly technology like candy.' _

"So you mean to tell me you've gone cold turkey?...On both accounts?"

Carter asked sceptically.

After taking a large mouthful of beer, Norman replied.

"That's exactly what I have done Carter."

_'Fuck, I could really go for a real drink right about now.'_

Norman finished off the rest of his beer and slid out of the booth.

Standing up he grabbed his empty glasses along with Carters empty one.

"I'm getting some whiskey, you in?" Norman asked.

Carter was looking away from Norman as he waved his hand and grumbled a 'No'.

Norman shrugged his shoulders and made his way over to the bar. Carter let out a sigh.

_'What am I thinking helping this kid out? This is getting to personal...too complicated too...involved'_

Norman leaned on the bar with a sigh, he absent-mindedly fiddled with a coaster while the barman was busy serving some other people.

He had never spoken of his addiction to anyone before, not even his superiors. Although this time round talking to Carter had been a lot more difficult, Norman was relieved it was more out in the open between them now. It was worrying, but satisfyingly fresh.

Norman looked up to find the barman walking over to him, washing a small glass.

"I'll have two Whiskeys, and put one in a shot glass."

The barman nodded and turned around towards the large bench of alcohol behind him.

Norman took a quick look around the pub, only a few more people had arrived at the pub since Carter and Norman had arrived. The pub was still quite quiet considering the amount of people currently there.

"Your Whiskey sir"

Norman turned around and thanked and paid the barman.

He picked up the shot glass of Whiskey and drained it in one mouthful. Norman cringed as the burning liquid scolded down his throat.

He let out a sigh and put the shot glass down on the bar top. Picking up his other glass Norman slowly made his way over to the booth were Carter was waiting.

_'Please let that be the end of the addiction conversation'_ Norman thought with a heavy sigh.

Norman slid into the booth, sitting across Carter. Taking a sip of his Whiskey and taking a quick look at the stained glass window Norman spoke,

"So Washington aye?" Norman quirked an eyebrow waiting for Carters reply.

Carter raised his head and smirked,

"Noticed that did ya? Thought it was about time to give you a nickname."

Norman smirked and leaned forward across the table,

"Does that mean I get to pick one for you?"

Carters smirk nearly turned into a smile as he replied.

"Nope. You're not in a position to."

Norman curled his lip back and sneered sarcastically.

"Bullshit I am, what the fuck does that mean anyway?"

Carter copied Norman by leaning over the table, folding his arms on the smooth wood. Only a few inches separated their elbows from touching.

"It means as an assistant secretary, your word means shit."

Norman had difficultly concentrating on what next to say, Carters face was so close now. His breath was warm as it ghosted over his face, smelling like beer.

"You're full of shit Carter, my position doesn't mean shit..."

"And don't you forget it" Carter interrupted, his smirk grew so wide that Norman could see his canines.

"Don't forget what? That you're full of shit?" Norman retorted, matching Carters smirk.

"Don't forget..." Carter reached forward and grabbed hold of Normans collar, pulling him closer.

"That I'm your superior now. And you do as I say"

Norman suddenly felt uneasy, not from what Carter had said, he knew they were both joking (although it seemed Carter liked to poke Norman with that one irritating reminder to get a rise out of him.) But right now Norman wasn't worried about his temper rising to the bait, he was worried about something entirely different rising. His smirk faltered at the proximity of their faces, in the few seconds that passed Norman noticed how full Carters lips were. It was a complete surprise to find he had such rich looking lips while the rest of Carter seemed so stern and rough. Normans lips slightly parted as he found himself staring at Carters lips, but as his eyes flicked up to Carters deep blue eyes, he found he wasn't the only one staring. Time passed ever so slowly in those few seconds.

Norman cleared his throat and quickly pulled back from Carter. Carters hand fell limp from the hold it had on Normans collar.

Norman sat back in the leather cushions crossing his arms, clearing his throat again he turned away from Carter.

"Well I'm going to give you a nickname you old bastard."

Carter sat back and adjusted his tie, he took a small sip of beer to preoccupy himself from looking at Norman for the moment.

_'That was fucking weird'._

Norman's eyes flicked over to Carter. His heart was beating away madly in his chest and his breathing had become heavy. He struggled to control it has he took a swig of his Whiskey.

_'that was too close'_

Norman thought with a sigh.

It was Carter who broke the ice by speaking again,

"So I suppose back in D.C you'd be use to hanging out in suit bars instead of places like this?"

Norman quirked an eyebrow,

"Suit Bars?"

"You know those up street bars, filled with lawyers and D's. The city was filled with them last time I went to Washington."

Norman laughed and nodded his head,

"Am I that obvious?"

Carter smirked and finished off his beer,

"yeah, yeah you are."

Norman's lips stretched into a smile that reached his eyes and his whole form seemed to glow from that one smile.

Carter couldn't help but smile back. He noted how rare it was to see Norman smile so genuinely, he wished he could see Norman like that more often, he had such a infectious Cheshire cat smile. The colour had now returned to Normans face, his eyes were no longer blood shot. And with that big grin, Carter thought Norman looked...pretty good...to put it as lightly and non-sexual as possible.

Norman could feel himself start to blush at the sight of Carter softly smiling back at him. Feeling his heartbeat start to race, Norman quickly turned his attention to his Whiskey, he took a large gulp and cringed again at the sensation.

"You better pace yourself Norman, I can't imagine you being the kind of guy to hold his liquor."

Norman's lip twitched at Carters comment,

"I'm not a fucking teenager Carter."

Carter raised his hands up in mock defence,

"All I'm saying is that I don't want to have to carry you out of here tonight."

* * *

A/N =~_^=

Ok anyone who can guess the origin of the beer mentioned in this chapter is awesome. I was thinking of having them drink Heinekin since Mike Powers did a lot of their adds. But I thought I'd go for something different, not that I drink the beer mind you [I don't drink any alcohol].

Ideas for Carters nickname would be suuuuuper helpful. And if chosen I shall bake you a virtual cake...that you eat in your imagination...come on...it's a good deal XD


	12. Chapter 12

Carter sighed heavily, he couldn't believe that after warning Norman and Norman oh so eloquently reassuring him that he wouldn't pass out, that he still ended up carrying Norman out of the pub.

Norman groaned from his position as Carter pulled Norman's arm over his shoulder and around his neck. Pushing open the front entry, Carter gripped Normans waist with his other hand. The wind was blowing hard down the nearly pitch black alley way. The rain was heavy and ice cold as it hit Carters face. Norman was currently hanging his head, his feet shuffled uselessly behind him as Carter pulled him tighter against his side and picked up a fast pace.

"Stop moving stop moving" Norman groaned loudly.

Carter rolled his eyes,

"We need to get out of this rain."

"No, I'm gonna..." Norman slapped a hand over his mouth and pushed himself away from Carter, stumbling to find a wall to lean against.

Carter shook his head and sighed loudly, listening to Norman vomit up all that Whiskey.

He made his way over to Norman, the moon was shining brightly enough that he could just see Normans outline braced against the dark wall. Carter stood next to Norman smoothing his hand up and down Normans back.

Norman started making small whining noises as he began to dry reach.

Carter took the opportunity to chastise Norman while his mouth was busy vomiting.

"One fucking Whiskey" Carter began with a heavy sigh,

"One fucking Whiskey and two beers! The beers aren't even high in content! What are you fucking girl Norman?"

Norman turned his head slightly and slurred out a response.

"Two fucking Whiskeys you fuck."

Norman quickly turned his head back to the wall as he felt another wave of nausea roll over him.

"Yeah right" Carter said sounding uninterested. He continued to smooth his hand up and down Normans back, stopping every few seconds to give Norman a hard tap on his back.

Norman groaned loudly and started to shiver. Rain drops were fast running down his forehead and down and over his face.

"You done!?" Carter asked loudly, he wanted to get out of this rain fast. Norman was steadily looking like a drowned cat.

Norman pulled out his blood stained handkerchief from his left breast pocket. He wiped his mouth before shoving it back in his suit.

Norman nodded and Carter grabbed his arm and pulled him into a standing position. Heaving Normans arm over his shoulder again Carter grabbed Normans waist and started walking quickly out of the alley way.

As they came up to the car Carter leaned Norman up against the drivers door as he searched in his coat pocket for the keys. Norman heard the 'bleep' of the car alarm being disabled and felt Carters warm arm wrap around his waist for a third time. He smiled stupidly from the sensations that touch aroused in him. He was soaking wet, completely shit-faced, utterly cold and feeling like any moment he could vomit. But the feeling that came from being held so close to the human furnace that was Carter was worth every second.

Carter opened the passenger door and pushed Norman into the car, once he was sure no parts of the Ex-Agent were hanging out the door he slammed it close.

Quickly unbuttoning his coat Carter opened the back door and threw it in.

Racing around to the front Carter quickly got in the drivers seat and started up the engine.

Once they were on the road Carter turned the heat up and threw a glance at Norman.

The other man was dumbly trying to pull his seat belt across his torso to get it secured.

Carter reached across and gave it a swift tug, completely surprising Norman, but succeeding in pulling it across Norman and getting it secured for him.

"Right Norm, where the fuck am I taking you?"

Norman yawned loudly before pointing out the windscreen,

"West Point Hotel."

"You still at a hotel?" Carter asked.

"Yeah, until I can find an apartment." Norman replied, closing his eyes and shifting in his seat trying to get comfortable.

"No you fucking don't!" Carter exclaimed, punching Norman's arm.

"I'm not carrying your ass up to your room."

Norman groaned and sat up straight in his seat. He sighed regrettably, he didn't know why he asked for the shot of Whiskey...or why he asked for any Whiskey at all. The conversation had his knickers in a knot, so to speak, and he felt like he needed something to calm his nerves. He purely did it out of habit, considering being around Carter was enough to relax him...that was of course if he wasn't within kissing distance to Carter, that obviously did not do anything to relax him.

"That's the last fucking time I take you drinking Norman, one fucking Whiskey and you're out." Carter sighed in annoyance.

"Two Whiskeys Carter. I had one in a shot glass at the bar...and I haven't eaten alllll day" Norman replied exasperatingly.

"You're a fuck nut, you know that Norm?"

Carter pulled up to the front entry at West Point Hotel and stopped the car.

By now it was close to 2am and no one was waiting around at the front.

"Alright Norman, this is your stop. Get out."

When Norman made no move to even open his door handle Carter reached over and opened it for him, signalling him to get out.

"Come on, I don't have all fucking night." Carter said in frustration.

_'I wonder how far I can push Carter?' _Norman thought with a sly grin. Thankfully Carter didn't see Norman grin as Norman quickly yawned and stretched his arms.

"Ok, I'm going." Norman said slowly, exaggerating the point that he was going to take forever to get out of Carter's car.

Carter swore and threw his own car door open, he got out a slammed it shut with a bang. Walking quickly over to Normans side he leaned in and gripped underneath Normans arms. He heaved Norman out and made him stand up.

Just as Norman was about to end his fun and walk soberly through the hotel doors, he began to stagger.

_'Ok, so I'm not as sober as I thought'_

Just like before, Carter heaved Normans arm over his shoulder and gripped his waist.

"You owe me!" Carter sneered as they made their way into the hotel lobby.

The lobby was small and barely furnished. The walls were painted a off white with a wood trimming on nearly every surface. Carter hadn't imagined Norman staying in such a low budget hotel.

Carter quickly spotted a bus-boy and called out to him,

"Hey! You reckon you could take this ass here to his room."

Carter didn't mean it to be a question, more of a command. But the bus-boy had obviously missed that and shook his head.

"I'm sorry sir, but that's not in my job description. You're going to have to take your friend to his room on your own."

Just as Carter was about to show the little punk a piece of his mind Norman laughed,

"Hear that Carter? You're my friend."

Carter sighed and made his way over to the elevator. At least the kid knew about self preservation. As soon as Norman had interrupted, the bus-boy had fled the lobby and ran through the 'staff only' door.

The elevator 'binged' open and Carter pulled Norman in with him.

Sighing loudly he asked,

"What floor fuck nut?"

"Eight. Shit for brains." Norman sneered. His head hung against Carter. He figured he could probably stand by now, but he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to be this close to Carter. And since Carter didn't seem keen on letting him go either, why ruin a good thing?

"You're one to speak, I'm the only one here who is currently standing on their own."

Norman grinned and looked up at Carter,

"You know you love it."

Carter stared back at Norman's blurry eyed grinning face. He swallowed a hard lump in his throat and quickly looked away.

Unknowingly, Norman was right. Carter found himself enjoying holding Norman like this too much. Each time tonight, when Carter had pulled Norman closer, gripped his waist tighter and as he ran his hands up and down Norman's back, he hoped Norman wouldn't gain control of his motor functions and walk by himself. He could have easily made Norman walk, he could have pushed him out of the car at the front of the hotel. Hell he did that to Ash when he drank too much.

He was beginning to crave the feel of Normans body against his, and that was alarming to say the least. As he watched the lights on the elevator panel light up, a small part of him hoped the elevator would break down in between floors.

Carter sighed in relief and maybe a bit in disappointment when the elevator doors 'binged' open on the eighth floor.

"Ok what number?"

Norman yawned a reply,

"302."

Carter found the door soon enough and leaned Norman against it while he stepped back and watched Norman search his jacket for his door key. The man's hair was still wet and his jacket and the shirt he was wearing were still drenched. Carter's side was damp from where Norman had pressed himself against him.

"You look like a drowned cat." Carter chuckled.

"Yeah yeah fuck you too Carter." Norman said sarcastically, placing his key in the key hole and unlocking the door.

Carter ran a thumb over his lip and looked to the side, feeling oddly awkward as he stood outside of Normans door.

"Right, well you'll be alright?" Carter asked. He wanted it to come out sounding like a statement, he didn't want the kid thinking he cared too much about him. Which, Carter thought unfortunately was soon becoming the case.

Norman leaned against the door pane and nodded tiredly.

"Yeah, thanks Carter...thanks for everything. I owe you one."

Carter gave a quick nod and turned and made his way down the hallway towards the elevator.

Finally hearing the door shut, Carter sighed heavily.

_'What a fucked up night.'_

* * *

A/N ^_^

Ok so chapter 10, 11 and 12 were originally chapter 10. But I cut the chapter into three's so that it would be easier to read through, considering it was 22pages long. It's just easier, especially for those who don't have time to read through a 22page chapter and it's annoying to go back half way through that chapter and try to find where you were up to T____T;

I hope these three chapters weren't boring, I second guessed myself when I had Carter and Norman going over the past addiction talk, but I wouldn't have left it out because Carter was left in the dark and I can't imagine him being fine with just a small amount of information on Normans past addictions.

Comments are love and inspire me and make me type faster 3


	13. Chapter 13

The Hangover Norman woke with the next morning was a welcomed change from migraines and body cramps that usually came with the mornings.

Saturday had gone by slowly and smoothly, with only a small hiccup of anxiety when he remembered the night before in all it's drunken detail. He had spent most of his Saturday in the small book store he now frequented when he had the time. As he scanned the wooden bookshelves for nothing in particular he thought back to the less embarrassing moments of last night. The somewhat comradeship aspect of Carters nature had come into the light and Norman felt a swell of joy and gratitude that he had been on the receiving end. He could not help but feel a maraud of butterflies and a hot flush that washed over him as he thought back to the feeling of Carter holding him. He felt embarrassed and completely unprofessional at the thought of Carter seeing him drunk. In Washington he had always kept his guard up and never properly let loose with any of his associates. He never trusted anyone of them enough to put himself in such a vulnerable position, they were on the same team of course, they risked their lives for each other...but they all kept their eye on the prize 'Director of the FBI', and the quickest way to the top was to thin the numbers of the competition. Who knew what could be said while in the midst of a drunken schmooze.

Norman wasn't aware of how the politics worked at the Precinct, but he would take Carters advice about Perry and Ash, throughout that advice Norman could see Carter was no longer his enemy, he was looking out for him.

Norman grinned and walked down to the small deli to buy another rental newspaper.

_'This weekend is going to be good'._

* * *

Norman walked into the precinct with a grin upon his face, damn he felt good! Even the horrid weather outside couldn't dampen his mood.

Ever since Friday night the ecstatic feeling had stayed with him all weekend. He relished in the thought of increasing the feeling today when he saw Carter.

He walked past Carters desk, noticing his coat hanging over his chair and made his way over to his own desk.

His grin grew as he spotted a steaming cup of coffee on his desk in the usual brown take away cup, of which the coffee shop across the street used. He gripped the cup and took a sip as he sat down at his desk.

_'excellent, already sugared and stirred.'_

Norman thought happily.

He quickly cleared his throat and tried to control his smile. He didn't want to draw attention to himself, he had already seen Charlene smile back at him in question. He rarely smiled and he didn't want her getting any ideas about the origin of his grin.

Normans attention quickly changed focus as he saw Perry's office doors open and Carter and Ash came out. Without thinking Norman quickly rose, but as soon as he rose a strong feeling of abashment came over him and he sat back down just as quickly. Clearing his throat he quickly turned towards his computer, pretending to be busy as he watched Carter and Ash out the corner of his eye.

As if suddenly becoming aware of his own behaviour Norman scowled and turned his attention to his real work.

_'What am I getting flustered about?'_

Norman spied Carter coming over to his desk and he felt himself miss a heartbeat.

Carter now looked...soft. Not his usual course arrogant self. He always had a strong masculine presence filled with authority and a sense of purpose about him, and he still did. But the effect it now had on Norman was not the same as when he first met him. When Norman had first come into contact with Carter's energy, Normans own pride and dominate self had reared up against it. But now the effect it had was the complete opposite, Norman now felt a lack of breath and his knees became weak. His own natural instinct to be dominate was over shadowed by the feeling of submissiveness and complete surrender. Inside Norman screamed for the feeling to stop, it was no doubt a part of his withdrawals and was not to be indulged. The feeling was just a bi-product of how Carter seemed to have some form of control of his withdrawal symptoms...he hoped that was the case any way.

Carter came over to his desk and inclined his head in greeting.

As if to spite those feelings Norman quickly stood up, it wasn't out of politeness, he told himself, it was to put Carter and himself on equal footing. Norman sighed inside, he was being irrational, but he wasn't about to stop it. Beat irrational thoughts with irrational behaviour he told himself, causing the logical part of him to shake his head.

"Thanks for the coffee."

Carter smirked his smile,

"Welcome. You look much better now."

Norman smiled and nodded. His fingers twitched, the feeling to keep his hands busy came over him quickly. Not wanting to sit down just yet, he decided to inspect his finger nails instead.

"Look"

Carter began, he would continued when he had gained Normans attention back.

Norman looked up at Carter from underneath his eyelashes, trying to keep himself from paying too much attention to Carter.

"I'm leaving the state for a couple of days, doing a raid with Ash and a few others, so..."

Normans eyes widened, Carter now had his undivided attention.

"A couple of days!"

Norman exclaimed. His eyes darted around the office quickly, suddenly feeling on edge.

Carters mouth was still open, though what he was about to say was now lost. Normans outburst had surprised him...to say the least.

"...yeah, a couple of days, thought I might as well tell you...so you don't go buying coffee for somebody who ain't here."

Norman nodded his head and tried to focus his attention on something else. He quickly picked up his coffee and downed a large mouthful. It burned his tongue and throat as it made it's way down. Though he kept his expression neutral; hoping Carter wouldn't notice the blunder Norman had just made in his uneasiness.

"Right, ok, sure. A couple of days" Norman said and nodded.

Carter had raised an eyebrow at Normans odd behaviour, He turned his head and saw Ash waiting a few feet away, hands on his hips and looking unimpressed.

Carter turned his attention back to Norman.

"Right."

Carter said shoving his hands in his pant pockets and absent-mindedly looking over Normans desk. They both stood there for a few seconds. They both had things they wanted to say, both had things they wanted to do, but neither felt they could. And with these thoughts distracting them, they didn't know what else to do with themselves.

Carter sighed heavily.

_'What the fucks wrong with me? Damn kid is making me loose my mind.'_

"Well, I'll be seeing you later then." Carter finally said, breaking the awkward silence. He nodded his head again and turned to walk away.

"Good luck!" Norman quickly said. Carter turned and nodded, holding his gaze.

"See you later Washington." Carter replied, causing Norman to grin.

"Later Carter"

A small smile tugged at Carters lips,

_'I'm getting too fond of this kid.'_

Turning away he met up with Ash, who looked positively peeved. Grabbing their coats and other small supplies both men made their way to the basement officers car park.

As they both stood in the elevator the silence was heavy and the tension radiating from Ash was near unbearable.

"What the fucks up with you Blake? Hey! All of a sudden you're being civil to that fucking bureaucratic shit!"

Ash exclaimed sneering.

Carter frowned and threw him a glance.

"It's none of your fucking business Ash."

Ash swung around, facing Carter, as the other man folded his arms across his chest, still facing towards the elevator doors.

"Well you seemed pretty fucking keen to make it my business when you fucking hated him!"

Carter sighed loudly in annoyance.

The elevator doors 'binged' open and both men made their way out and over to the car.

"It's not the same now."

Carter replied as he opened the drivers door and got in the black Sedan.

"That's the fucking point I'm making! Why the fuck should you give a fuck about him now?"

Ash retorted loudly, buckling himself in.

"Why the hell should you even give a fuck Ash!"

"Your my fucking partner Blake! And you can't deny the fact that Jayden is fucking suss, taking a break from the FBI? Yeah fucking right! And I don't believe for a second that you suddenly decide to be civil with him"

Ash said fiercely, he couldn't understand why Blake didn't see what he saw.

Carter put the car into gear and turned the accelerator .

"I'm cutting him some slack alright! You should too! For fucks sake" Carter finished sighing loudly.

Shit, this conversation was getting on his nerves.

"And why should I? You said so your self 'he's nothing but a fucking bureaucrat'. And don't forget he had his sights on getting you shit-canned as soon as he walked through the precinct doors!"

As their car made it out onto the streets the sound of heavy rain filled in the blanks between both their yells.

Carters hands gripped the steering wheel in a course grasp turning his knuckles white.

"That's in the fucking past now Ash, it's not the first time I've been accused of some shit, and it won't be the last"

Carter seethed. He played with the thought of pulling the car over and knocking some sense into Ash.

"Oh right! This coming from Lieutenant Carter Blake Mr. never forgive never forget!"

Ash yelled sarcastically.

Carter slapped his hand on the steering wheel.

"Fucks sake! Fucking can it Ash!"

Ash ground his teeth together but otherwise didn't say a word more.

The argument had ended for now, leaving both men feeling wired and livid.

The ride to the airport had gone by quickly, neither man had said a word.

The outburst from Ash had Carter questioning his relationship with Norman. What was he doing!

Since being made Normans confidant in matters with his withdrawals, he knew Norman wasn't here on matters to do with the FBI, but he could easily see why Ash thought that. He just hoped Ash kept himself in check. He didn't want to have to break up an office fight. He knew Norman use to be able to hold his own, but maybe not any more, not to mention Ash had a killer left hook. And if it did come down to a fight Carter didn't want to have to play diplomat nor was he sure who's side he would back if it came down to defending either one of them.

* * *

Norman sat as his desk flipping through an assortment of files, the images and words began to blur as he retreated into his own panicked mind.

_'It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, alright! It's only for a few days, it'll be fine'_

Norman thought quickly. He desperately needed to get the sudden panic under control.

He gnawed at his lips and quickly looked around the station.

_'I've done a few days before...I'll be fine'_

Norman berated himself for his irrational and confused behaviour this morning. His sudden mood changes deciding whether to give Carter attention or not were completely stupid and defeated the purpose of helping his withdrawals. But he never though they would get this close. Sure it worked for him, but at what cost?

"Norman Jayden."

Norman snapped out of this thoughts and looked up, Charlene was idly looking at him, she'd obviously said his name a few times.

Norman smiled a reply,

"Sorry Charlene, I was distracted. What was it you wanted?"

"Captain Perry would like to see you in his office."

Charlene informed smiling.

Norman closed the files that were open on his desk and stood up. He straightened his tie and followed Charlene to Perry's office door.

Nodding his thanks Norman griped the cold metal handle and pushed open the door.

Perry was sitting behind his desk, his fingers were tented and his head tilted to one side as looked Norman up and down.

"Jayden, please take a seat."

"Captain"

Norman greeted Perry with a nod of his head and took a seat across from him.

"Now please forgive me for skipping the usual formalities, I run a tight ship here and neither of us really has time for small talk."

Perry ended with a vague sort of smile.

Norman nodded his head in agreement and looked out the corner of his eye. Just to the side there stood a tall lanky man clothed in a white coat. His hair was cut short and his neck was terribly long, his dark eyes seemed sleepy as their lids laid half closed.

Normans attention snapped back to Perry as he started talking again.

"As it is routine in all governmental departments all members of staff take a simple drug test, it takes place throughout their careers, and begins when you are first a cadet. Now since you came straight from the FBI I had overlooked this matter. But as Lieutenant Ash pointed out to me, no one person is excused from such a test" Perry smiled almost sarcastically at Norman, "I'm sure you understand Jayden."

"Of course Sir."

Norman held back from swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

"Now.."

Perry started, getting out of his chair and walking around his desk to stand near Norman.

"Yuri here will take a urine and saliva test, it'll be taken down to our own forensic lab, so there won't be much of a wait."

Norman got out of his seat and nodded, he didn't trust his own voice to try and speak now. His throat felt thick and sticky.

_'Keep it together Norman, you have nothing to be nervous about, they have nothing on you' _

Norman told himself as he greeted Yuri and followed him into the men's bathroom. Once in, they stood near the basins close to the exit.

Still looking as sleepy as he was before, Yuri pulled a small instrument that much resembled a thermometer out of a tube from his pocket and motioned for Norman to open his mouth.

Looking up to the dull ceiling, Norman poked out his tongue and grimaced as his tongue was lightly scrapped.

Yuri sighed loudly and put the tester back in the tube and away in his large lab pocket.

Norman rubbed his tongue along the roof of his mouth in agitation.

"Ok now for ze urine tist." Yuri said lazily in a rich Baltic accent.

'Greeeat'

Norman thought, mentally rolling his eyes.

* * *

Monday had gone by as slowly as Tuesday. Norman arrived at the station in the morning and left around 5pm. His day consisted of retrieving and sorting files, organising and finishing reports and making the odd coffee for a busy officer. During the whole time Norman felt like a clerical zombie. His fingers grew numb along with his mind. The whole time he was under the watchful gaze of the Captain, so far only his saliva had passed the drug test. The urine drug test results were due Wednesday and Norman anxiously waited. He knew from the drug tests done back at Washington, that they wouldn't pick up any trace of Triptocaine. Even if he had sniffed the shit the night before the test they wouldn't find anything. Triptocaine dissolved into the blood beyond recognition.

Norman knew all this, but he still couldn't shake the anxiety that clung to him.

Norman sat at his desk, staring blankly at the precincts logo on his computer screen. Without the stimulation to his nerves from Carter, the mundane dullness of the precinct and his current place in life stuck to him like thick wet fog.

_'Sure Carter helps my withdrawals, but only for a short amount of time. Unless I have had close contact with him, then the effects last for a few days. But it's not a cure, it's only temporary.' _

Norman folded his hands and dropped his head sighing.

_'How long will it take for it to become permanent? Shit, while I'm hear hoping to even catch a glimpse of that prick, my careers going down the fucking drain. And here I am, in a fucking miserable town filing reports like I did in my first years. Shit.' _

"Mr. Jayden...are you alright?"

Norman lifted his head from his folded hands and looked over to Charlene. The woman stood across from this desk, holding a set of files. Her head was tilted to the side with a worrying expression.

"Yes I'm fine, why do you ask?"

Norman replied, trying to add feeling that he didn't have into his sentence.

"Your nose is bleeding sir."

Normans eyes grew wide, he slowly lifted his hand and traced a finger under his nose. Pulling back his index finger Norman saw it was covered in the ruby liquid.

"Oh, it's my, er, my er high blood pressure."

Norman said, stumbling over his words to find an excuse as he quickly reached into his jacket pocket for his handkerchief.

"Are you sure?"

Charlene asked apprehensively, coming closer to the desk.

"Oh course, it happens a lot. Nothing to be concerned about."

Norman replied, quickly wiping away the blood from his nose.

"Well, if you're sure"

Charlene placed the stack of files she was holding down onto Normans desk. Norman shoved his handkerchief away into his jacket pocket and looked up at Charlene in question.

"The Captain wants you to sort through these files, they're old and need to be put through the system by tomorrow night."

Norman smirked without feeling and raised his eyebrow,

"A set of old files that needs to be put into the system has a dead-line?"

Charlene smiled ever so diplomatically and replied,

"That's what the Captain said."

Norman scoffed and proceeded to organise the large stack of files already on his tiny desk.

_'Fantastic, this is going to be another great couple of days'_

* * *

A/N =~_^=

Jason!


	14. Chapter 14

Norman passed the drug test, which seemed to enthral and disappointment Perry all at the same time. A most peculiar individual if Norman ever saw one.

Wednesday and Thursday went about the same, the only difference being in how strong his withdrawals came on Thursday.

He found himself spending most of the two days in the men's bathroom. The hand twitches he could deal with at his desk in the office. But when his head and shoulders started twitching Norman had to escape to the confines of the bathroom and hope that it would soon end. The dizziness and searing headaches came and went as the days passed on.

In both mornings Norman had gathered up a large amount of files and chores that he could finish at his desk. Luckily it was obvious enough to the officers in the station that he was snowed under in work and couldn't fetch or deliver them anything. The few times during the two days that Norman had to interact with fellow human beings Norman kept his eyes on his computer screen, never giving them eye contact. He knew his eyes were blood shot and would drop in and out of focus often.

* * *

It was late Thursday and he had only finished one piece of work, though he was sure that he had the act of falsely working down to an art now.

As Norman pretended to study the file in front of him, his eyes snapped back and forth between the clock on his computer to the precinct doors. He even swivelled his chair when no one was looking to check the back elevator for any movement. Any sign of Carters return.

He felt like he was loosing his mind. He was constantly on high alert, his fingers were still numb, he couldn't stop biting his lip and he couldn't stop thinking about Carter. He felt like a addict waiting anxiously for his next hit, not sure whether or not his dealer would even turn up.

Norman felt as if the withdrawal symptoms had complete control of his life.

Before it was the ARI and Triptocaine, now one addiction was being replaced by another. And Norman was apprehensive to find that his new addiction might just be the moody Lieutenant.

* * *

The entire week went by slowly and painfully. During these four dull days life seemed nothing more then the quick succession of busy nothings, over shadowed by the constant burning of the withdrawals. As morning came and night fell Normans mind lapsed into the flat-line mentality that once ruled his life only months before, and now threatened his sanity.

The desire to call in sick on Friday and spend the whole day in the shower was tempting. Norman sat on his small hotel bed watching his hand shake as it retreated from his mobile on the bed side table.

_'I'll go, I have to manage, Carter should be due back now. I have to see him, even if he does kick my ass for coming to the precinct looking like I am.'_

Upon entering Norman saw no sign of Carter. He slowly walked past Carters desk, looking for anything out of place that may lead him to believe he was just talking with the Captain again.

Putting down his fresh cup of coffee on his desk Norman quickly sat down as he felt his legs tremble underneath him.

Running a hand through his hair Norman waited for the feeling to come back to his legs before retrieving all the files necessary to make his work desk full making certain he wouldn't be bothered for the whole day.

So far the day had gone by slowly and uneventfully, Norman ran his pen up and down the metal ringed binding of his note pad as he listened to the busy noise of the precinct. His leg twitched involuntary under his desk. He hadn't asked Charlene when Carter was due back, and the question of the Lieutenants arrival plagued his mind. Just as Norman had finished forming the question in his mind; wording it to sound like an off hand question as he rolled the inquiry into a statement about the lack of officers in the precinct for the past week, he spotted Ash coming towards his desk. Immediately his eyes searched the office for Carter, but when he didn't see any sight of the man his eyes snapped back to Ash, standing only a few feet away from his desk.

Ash had his arms folded across his chest, his lip was curled into a sneer as he stared down at Norman.

Norman desperately wanted to stand up and put himself and Ash on equal footing, but he didn't trust his balance at the moment.

As he stared back into Ash's eyes the question nagged him till he couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer.

"Where's Carter?"

Ash rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Normans desk,

"The Lieutenant ain't here"

Ash informed lazily.

"That's why I am asking Ash, if you're back from the raid then where's Carter?"

Ash's sneer grew as he lent on Normans desk. His hands curled into fists as they rested on top of his files.

"That's none of your concern. What is your concern however is sorting out the cold case files in the East Basement room."

"That's not my job Ash."

Norman said standing and up leaning over his desk at the other man.

"Well it is now, shit rolls down hill princess."

Ash cocked his head to the side smirking.

"Get use to it."

Ash finished, pushing off Normans desk and walking away.

Sighing loudly Norman ran his hand through his hair and steadily made his way to the back of the office where the stairwell awaited. Making his way down the echoing steps Norman stopped at the East Basement door. Grasping hold of the cold metal handle Norman pushed open the door to revel a dimly lit hallway, to the side on the low ceiling there ran thick electrical cords with small yellow lights stationed on the wall, giving off an almost eerie glow. The floor, walls and ceiling were all a dirty cement with water stains and a large crack at the far end.

Norman stood in the open door way looking around nervously.

_'This is where I am meant to go? Shit when Charlene said it was down the forgotten side of the precinct she wasn't kidding.' _

Rolling his eyes at his own apprehensive behaviour Norman quickly walked down the length of the hallway till he reached the plain grey door at the end.

Opening the door Norman reached his hand in as he searched for the light switch near the door pane.

Small tinkering sounds echoed in the silent space as tiny light globes flicked into life. The room was cramped with tall filing cabinets with only narrow walk ways in between them. To the right hand side of the small room sat a old dusty wooden desk shoved into the corner. Closing the door behind him Norman shrugged off his jacket and wiped the desk free from dust with his hands. Norman then threw his jacket on the desk and rolled up his sleeves.

_'I could really use my ARI right about now. Ok where do I start?'_

* * *

Norman had been in the Cold Case File room for about two hours when Captain Perry suddenly opened the door. Norman looked up from his sitting position on the wooden desk, a stack of paper sat next to him and an old yellow file was held in his hands.

"What the hell are you doing in here Jayden?" Perry yelled.

Norman looked around the room and then back at Perry,

"I was told I had to sort out the-"

"I've been looking everywhere for you! Charlene just told me you were down here for some godforsaken reason." Perry interrupted throwing his hands up in the air.

"Sir, Ash told me to co-"

"I don't give a damn what Ash told you, I need your ass back in the office right this minute."

As Perry walked over to Norman, Norman was glad the lighting was so bad in the small dingy room. His withdrawals hadn't lessened since he had been down here, but at least he could have fits without anyone watching him. And he was sure that if the lighting had been any better Perry would have noticed his blood shot eyes and pasty appearance.

Perry stood in front of him with his hands on his hips,

"Since Blake is out of action you're gonna be picking up some of the slack Jayden, I need four reports written up by Monday; they're waiting on your desk."

Perry ended with a quick shake of his head and turned to leave.

Norman quickly threw the file he was holding onto the desk and jumped off, his legs wobbled as he landed on the floor nearly giving out underneath him. He quickly thrust out his arm to the filing cabinet to steady himself against.

Making his current position look as natural as possible Norman asked,

"Out of action? What do you mean by that Captain, I thought he was out on a raid."

Normans breath began to quicken.

Turning around slowly Perry answered,

"Blake was shot during the raid."

Norman felt his legs begin to quake underneath him. His skin quickly began to crawl with fear of the unknown.

"Will he be alright?"

His breath stopped as he waited for Perry's answer.

"Blake's fine, nothing serious, he was released from Hospital last night, he's currently resting up and should be back by Monday."

Without looking back Perry left the room and walked back up to the offices.

Norman let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes. The sudden fear that came over him felt unnatural. He felt shaken and drained, he shouldn't have felt that amount of fear for a man's life that he didn't even like...but Norman couldn't seriously say he didn't like the other man. There was no doubt in his mind that he liked Carter now. The once unbalanced psychopathic asshole that he once thought he knew back during the OK case seemed a life time away from the man he was beginning to understand and know now.

He sighed softly and leaned back against the desk.

_'Damn bastard has grown on me'_

As Norman reached the 3rd floor door on the stairwell he wiped the trail of blood from his nose with his handkerchief and opened the door. Slowly making his way over to his desk he was careful to hide his quivering right hand. Norman sat down and started making order of his desk, making sure to put the new files from Perry aside from the rest. Picking up the large stack of files to be returned, Norman lazily walked over to the filing cabinets. As he began putting the files back his eyes flicked over to Ash sitting at his desk, busy typing at his computer. He slowed down his movements as he watched Charlene walk over and start talking to Ash. He couldn't hear what they were saying from this far away and with such noise from the rest of the precinct. He caught Charlene's eye as she looked over to him,

"Jayden, while you're there could you please pull out the Lisa Garland file."

Charlene finished with a smile and went back to talking with Ash.

Norman quickly found the file and put the rest of his on top of the cabinet. He walked over to Ash's desk, careful not to make any eye contact this close to either of them. Charlene took the file from his fingers and passed it to Ash.

"The Lieutenant asked that you bring this over, along with the other case files in his desk."

Charlene said to Ash.

Ash looked over to Norman with a sneer then back at Charlene, giving her a half ass smile.

"Bastard gets a few a days off from being shot and he still can't get his head out of work."

Ash sighed and dropped the file on top of his desk.

"Right, I'm tied up here writing a report on the whole fuck up, but I should be able to squeeze it in, I'll drop it past his place later tonight."

As if Charlene had only just noticed Norman still standing next to her, she chimed in,

"Perhaps Mr. Jayden could-"

"No"

Ash said quickly but firmly, staring straight at Norman as he said it.

"I can do it."

Charlene smiled without feeling and turned towards Norman,

"Would you be able to fetch the black brief case from underneath my desk Mr. Jayden?"

Norman nodded and quickly made his way over to Charlene's desk, finding the brief case he made his way back over to Ash's desk and placed it in front of Charlene. She smiled briefly at him,

"That's all Mr. Jayden, thank you."

Norman nodded and took the hint to leave. He made his way back over to the filing cabinets, pulling the stack of files off from the top Norman moved further up the isle close to Ash as he pretended to put the files back.

_'I have to get that fucking brief case, There is no way in hell I am going to make it through till Monday, I have to see Carter tonight.'_

He watched from the corner of his eye as Ash placed numerous files from Carers desk draws into the brief case.

_'Shit, I can't exactly steal it! It'd be just the excuse Ash needs to get me fired.'_

Norman made quick work of putting back the rest of the files he held in his hands and made his way back to his desk. Sitting down quickly he kept his eyes locked on the brief case. Behind him he heard Perry call out,

"Ash, my office now."

Norman watched as Ash picked up the brief case and placed it underneath his desk, he nodded to the Captain and proceeded to make his way over to office door.

Quickly grabbing one of the report files Norman walked swiftly over to Perry before he could enter his office and close the door.

"Excuse me Sir"

Norman said loudly, holding up the report file.

Perry sighed and closed the door behind Ash still keeping his hand on the door handle.

"What is it Jayden?"

Perry said with a sigh.

"About this report..."

Norman began, he quickly flicked open the file, reading the heading quickly.

"I should be able to have them all finished by Monday Sir."

Perry raised an eyebrow in boredom,

"Good, now if you'll-"

"I happened to notice Ash was assigned to deliver some documents to Lieutenant Blake..."

Perry opened his mouth to speak but Norman continued,

"As my shift is ending sir, I though perhaps I would take the liberty of delivering them for him, considering he may not have the time on his hands."

Perry's eyes were closed in annoyance as he shook his head,

"Fine, yes. Just make sure those reports are done by Monday Jayden."

Norman smiled and nodded his head.

"Of course."

Perry sighed loudly and entered his office, closing the door behind him.

Norman quickly gathered up all his report files and scanned the office for Charlene.

He might have luck with Perry, but Charlene had bared witness to Ash's distaste to the idea of him delivering the files to Carter.

Seeing her walking into the ladies bathroom Norman quickly walked over to Ash's desk and picked up the brief case in one fluid motion continuing his way to the front of the precinct.

_'Holy shit I hope my legs don't give out before I get there.'_

Before Norman reached the front doors he turned towards the reception and placed the brief case down by his feet.

Gaining the attention from the front secretary Norman leaned close and asked,

"Hi, I've been assigned to deliver a set of files to Lieutenant Carter Blake's residence, I was told I could get the address here."

"Name please." The woman asked, clicking away on her computer.

"Norman Jayden."

Norman noticed it was the same secretary he had met only a few weeks ago when he first tried to see Carter. He smiled at the memory and looked around the precinct.

"Ok Mr. Jayden..."

The secretary began, scribbling a address onto a strip of paper,

"Here's the address, good luck he usually hates visitors."

Norman took the strip of paper and paused,

_'Shit, what the fuck am I doing? He's just going to take the fucking brief case and close the door.'_

Deciding it was too late to turn back now and that it was better to take the chance then not, Norman quickly left the precinct with the brief case.

The weather outside had gotten worse

_'If the weather in the blasted city could get any worse.'_

Norman thought miserably. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself, trying to keep as much warm in and as much ice cold rain and freezing winds out. Norman looked up at the blackening sky with a grimace gracing his features.

Norman's heart jumped for joy as a taxi pulled up in front of him. Quickly opening the back door Norman passed the strip of paper over to the taxi driver.

"I'd like to go here please."

The driver nodded and passed the piece of paper back to Norman who quickly put it in is breast pocket, who knew when he might need it next?

Buckling himself in, Norman wiped his forehead clear of any water and sat back into the worn taxi seats. He stared out the taxi window as his fingers idly fiddled with the brief cases locks. He placed the brief case besides him on the seat along with the four reports that Perry had given him. He didn't know what to expect when he arrived at Carters, he had no real plan formed.

_'Knock on his door, give him the brief case and hope to all fuck that he invites me in'_

Norman thought, anxiously biting his lip.

_'Christ, he's been shot! But where, I mean he's well enough to tie up loose ends on that case before Monday. But maybe he's confined to his bed?'_

Norman felt his face start to heat up at the mental image of Carter sprawled out in his bed.

_'...What if he has fever?' _his mind whispered, just adding to the picture more suggestive images.

His mind was invaded with the image of Carter lying in his bed, barely covered by a thin sheet that did nothing to hide his nakedness, the outline of Carter's naked body shown through the sweat gathering on his body. His naked chest heaving as he panted for air, his eyes lidded and inviting as he struggled to control the temperature of his body.

Norman choked on air as the image sent a hot bolt straight to his groin. Breathing loudly Norman turned his attention to the scenery outside the car.

_'Holy mother of fucking Christ! What the fucks wrong with me? Maybe it's not such a good idea if I go see Carter now...I'm obviously not in the right...head space.'_

But Norman didn't have time to reconsider,

"We're here, 43 West Ashfield street."

* * *

A/N =^_^=

Ah yes, finally that boring week is over :P Oh there is a quote from a Jane Austin book in this chapter lol, if you can guess what it is that would be insane XD


	15. Chapter 15

Norman quickly gathered his thoughts and tried gazing out the taxi window, but with all the rain running down the window he could hardly see a thing.

Paying the taxi driver Norman grabbed the brief case and got out the car. The house in front of him was a small two story building nestled in between two other similar buildings, there wasn't much of a garden in the front. Just a large silver birch tree taking up most of the space to the right. The walkway was paved in dull cement that led to the porch stairs. Norman opened the small rusty gate and made his way up the short path and onto the porch. The front door was made from thick wood, there was no knocker or bell. Norman shook the water from his hair and glanced around the neighbourhood, as with the pub Norman didn't know what to expect when it came to Carter. At the far end of the street ran the over road railway tracks. The street was quiet in the rain, not a soul stirred. The houses on the street looked similar, the size, layout and basic style of the house all spoke of the simplicity of the city that Norman had began to forget while he was in Washington. Norman didn't imagine Carter living in a quiet neighbourhood like this, but as before he wasn't sure what he would have imagined Carter living in.

Knocking loudly on the door with his fist Norman stood back and waited nervously. Leaning back onto his heels Norman took another scope of the neighbourhood. Remembering Carters reaction to seeing him in the precinct on Friday night, Norman quickly made sure he looked presentable. He made sure his shirt was tucked in and combed through his hair with his fingers, he couldn't do anything about his blood shot eyes and hoped the severity of their appearance had lessened on the trip here.

Turning his attention back to the door he lifted his hand to knock, but the door suddenly swung open to reveal Carter on the other side.

"Norman?"

Carter's head cocked to the side, looking confusingly at Norman.

"Er, hey Carter."

Norman said, his mind suddenly too busy to form a proper greeting.

_'Holy shit I can see his chest hair'_

Carter was wearing a thick green sweatshirt, the zip only partially done up to his solar plexus. Norman cursed at the bandage that currently covered the majority of Carters chest from view. The outline of Carters pecs showed vaguely through the bandage, small traces of chest hair could be seen lining the top, the small curls becoming thicker as they protruded from the confines of the bandage lower down. The rest being hidden from view by the now every annoying zipper.

He wore plain grey track pants that hugged his hips and wore no socks or shoes.

Quickly pulling his hand back from mid air where it still hung ready to knock on Carters door, Norman tried speaking again, this time looking at Carters face not his chest.

"I've brought you the files you wanted from the precinct."

Carters eyebrow rose, he took a quick look outside behind Norman,

"Wasn't Ash meant to bring them?"

"Yeah he was, but he was busy so I got the job."

Norman said passing the brief case over to Carter.

"Thanks."

Carter nodded and took the brief case slamming the door in Normans face.

Norman stood there with his mouth open about to speak, now he was speechless.

_'No fucking way!'_

The sound of the door slamming still rung in his ears mixing with the sound of heavy rain cascading down from the roof of the porch. It was only about five o'clock but the sky had only gotten darker since he saw it last when he was waiting for the taxi outside the precinct. Sighing loudly Norman dung into his pants pocket for his mobile phone,

_'Great, I'll have to call for a fucking taxi.'_

Before Norman could pull out his phone the sound of Carters door opening and the bright light of the entry way dragging over the porch caught his attention.

Carter leaned against the door pane,

"Let me guess, you didn't drive here did you?"

Norman looked up at Carter and shook his head.

"Come on then,"

Carter said sighing loudly, motioning with his hand for Norman to come in,

As Norman stepped into the entry way he quickly looked around. The stairs to the upper level stood only a few feet away from him, to the side stood a coat hanger and a small side table. Norman took off his jacket and hung it on the coat hanger. He bent down to un-lace his shoes but Carters voice stopped him,

"What the fuck are you doing Norman?"

Norman looked up from his position on the floor then back down at his shoes,

"...I don't need to take my shoes off?"

"Pfft no"

Carter said, looking at Norman in confusion.

Standing up a bit too quickly Norman began to loose his balance. Reaching out and grabbing the lounge room door pane, Norman sighed in relief that Carters back was turned.

"Nice place"

Norman commented, needing to gain some time to steady himself and regain his balance.

_'Now this is what I expected Carters lounge room to look like'_

Norman thought to himself.

The room was dimly lit, the small lights stationed on the deep green walls cast off a soft glow, giving the room a warm and inviting feel. It was furnished in the style that Norman expected to see in an old mans study, the thought made Norman quirk his eyebrow and smile. In front of him a couple of feet away sat a long worn leather couch together with a matching arm chair sitting closer to the wall and box window.

Norman followed Carters lead and walked around to the side of the couch where there sat a low coffee table piled high with books and paper work.

Right against the far wall where the couch was facing stood a large oak television unit.

The television couldn't be seen, probably locked away behind the two wooden doors in the middle of the unit.

"Take a seat"

Carter said offhandedly, motioning towards the couch,

"Do you want a beer?"

Carter added, turning towards Norman as the other man sat down.

"Sure."

Norman said smiling, he watched as Carter left the room through another open door and went into the dark hallway.

Norman placed his own reports on the coffee table in front of him and ran his hand through his damp hair and cast another glance around the room. To his right next to the armchair there stood a tall and thick wooden bookshelf.

_'Holy shit I am in Carters house'_

Norman thought with a sudden burst of excitement.

"Here"

Carter's gruff voice broke through Normans thoughts, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around the cold beer bottle handed to him and nodded his thanks.

Carter twisted off the beer cap from his own bottle and sat a the far end of the couch, sighing softly he looked Norman up and down. The Ex-agent was sitting at the other end, shoulders slightly hunched, back straight and legs closed tightly together. All round his whole body spoke of tension.

Carter watched with curiosity as Norman suddenly put down his beer on the coffee table and patted down his shirt, he looked around frantically before pinching his nose and tipping his head backwards.

Raising his eyebrows Carter quickly put down his own beer and quickly looked around for some tissues, but all he had was a roll of bandages behind a large stack of paper work. Reaching across carefully, Carter grabbed the roll of bandages and quickly stripping a piece off moved closer to Norman. Handing him the scrap piece of bandage Norman grabbed it frantically and rolled it up against his nose. Sighing loudly Norman lowered his head and smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Carter replied, moving closer to Norman and leaning back against the couch, placing his arm behind Normans head on top of the couch.

"Is that to do with the withdrawals?"

Carter asked, tilting his head to get a better view of Normans face. Norman nodded and finished wiping the remainder of blood from his nose.

Normans body began to heat up from the proximity of Carter right next to him. Removing the bandage from his nose Norman breathed in deeply, with any luck Carter would think he was clearing his nose and not smelling and immersing himself in Carters scent. Norman chose to not say anything more, worried he might break the spell and Carter would move back to his side of the couch. He could feel himself physically begin to unwind, the tension that had gripped him these past few days had taken it's toll on his already tired body and the warmth and relaxation that came from being this close to Carter was extremely welcome.

Running his fingers through his beard Carter got up from the couch and grabbed his beer, looking around awkwardly Carter picked up the suit case from next to the coffee table and placed it on top of the stack of books to the far end of the coffee table. Looking over towards Norman Carter sighed and unlocked the brief case.

_'What am I doing with him in my house? I should just call a cab and get him out of here.'_

Sitting back down in the middle of the couch Carter started pulling out the files.

"You should call a taxi."

Carter began to rummage through the mess on the table quickly finding his blue Ballpoint pen. Pulling a file over his lap along with a sturdy book Carter sat back in the couch and looked over to Norman.

"Yeah, yeah I'll call one"

Norman replied, making no move however to reach for his phone in his pant pocket, instead he stuffed the bloody bandage in there. Reaching forwards he grabbed his beer and looked over to Carter who was starting to look through the files. Feeling the need to do something more then just sit there awkwardly and hold his beer, Norman took a quick swig and placed it back down replacing it with one of the files Perry had given to him.

Spotting a pen on a stack of papers near him Norman reached for it and as his fingers gripped the small body of the pen his eyes skimmed over Carters chest again, caught off guard at the door by Carters appearance he didn't notice the words scribed over the front of the sweatshirt. In large white letters it read 'BOSTON' and in smaller letters underneath read 'Celtics'.

"So I'm guessing you're a fan of the NBA?"

Norman asked gesturing his head towards Carter sweatshirt.

Raising his eyebrow in what seemed to be boredom and keeping his focus on his work Carter replied,

"Yeah I guess, just follow the home team you know."

"You're from Boston?"

Norman said surprised, he had always imagined Carter as the kind of guy to grow up and die in the same city.

"Yeah."

Carter sighed, flipping over a page in the file he held in his hands.

He sat with his back rigid, papers in front of him, his pen wrote quickly across the files as he desperately tried to keep his focus on his work. Having Norman so close to him now, sitting on his couch, in his house sped Carters heart racing. It was the most private they had ever been and probably ever would be.

He had to distance himself, he couldn't allow Norman to get any closer, newly found raw desires surfaced every time Norman would glance over to him giving him that soft coy smile that was beginning to drive him mad. He didn't know what those feeling meant...and he didn't want to know, scared of what they may mean.

He noticed Norman made no move to call for a taxi and Carter couldn't bring himself to labor the point. Having someone in his house, someone he actually wanted in his house was a foreign enjoyment. The desire to have him close and the need to push him away was close to unbearable and Carter was too unsure of himself, too unsure of Norman to make a decision. Carter left the situation as it was and instead decided to ignore Norman and see how the night unravelled.

Norman shifted in his seat, with most of the tension out of his body he needed to change his position to actually sit comfortably. Pulling his leg up and over the other, his ankle resting on his left knee, Norman turned towards Carter. He manoeuvred the file into his lap and opened it back up. As silence fell over the room Norman heard the soft ticking of a clock somewhere in the room and the light scratching noises of Carters pen moving quickly over paper.

Normans eyes were once more transfixed on Carters chest, but this time with a coherent though in mind.

"Where did you get shot?"

Norman asked curiously, putting his pen to paper and pretending to concentrate.

"Right shoulder."

Carter replied.

"Shit, I mean shouldn't you have it in a sling!"

Norman exclaimed, after all Carter was currently using said arm to write, though the way he held himself Norman would have never guessed anything was the matter.

"It'll be right, it was only the deltoid muscle"

Carter said closing the file and throwing it on the coffee table with the rest

"I've had worse."

Normans eyes travelled up and down Carters body as if trying to guess where said worse scars were hidden.

"How did the raid go anyway?"

Norman asked, his eyes finally landing on Carters.

Turning his attention else were in the room Carter replied,

"Fine, we bagged 'em. It'll take a lot more then one hit to keep me down."

Sighing softly Carter pulled back his sweatshirts cuff and glanced at his watch, he got up from the couch, walked around the coffee table till he stood in front of the television unit. The small hinges on the wooden doors squeaked as Carter opened them up, revealing a modest wide screen television inside. Grabbing the remote Carter walked back over to the couch,

"Boston Celtics are about to play Miami Heat so...."

Carter informed Norman lazily.

Norman nodded and smiled, shifting in his seat to get more comfortable.

"I'm down."

Sitting back down Carter glanced at Norman, it hadn't exactly been an invitation, really Carter had hoped that Norman would take the subtle hint and leave. The obliviousness or the down right refusal to leave made Carter smile inside. It had been some time since he had watched the game with someone, Ash was too opinionated and the few other people Carter kept in contact with [which were few and far in between] were hardly ever available.

Deciding that he would try to enjoy himself Carter made a show of getting off the couch and turning towards Norman,

"It's a long game. I'll get more beer."

Norman smiled and quickly got off the couch,

"I'll give you a hand."

He followed Carter out the lounge room and into a narrow and dark hallway, only walking a couple of steps down the hallway Carter made a hard right turn and walked through the open door way and into the kitchen. The lights slowly flickered on to reveal a small and somewhat neglected room. The walls and cabinets and alike were a dull and dreary antique white. In the middle of the room sat a small wooden table with only a single chair keeping it company. The room had an almost forgotten feel to it. The stark contrast between the lounge room and kitchen surprised Norman and made him wonder about the appearance of the rest of Carters house

The soft hum of the refrigerator caught Normans attention, he only had to walk a few feet to reach Carter, who was currently pulling out beer bottles.

Turning around Carter frowned at Norman,

"Have you eaten today?"

"Erm..."

Norman started, scrapping his teeth over his bottom lip,

"No."

Carter nodded and let out a sigh, he passed the beer over to Norman and opened a cabinet. Closing it in disappointment Carter opened another one and pulled out a bag of chips,

"Here, so I don't have to carry your ass back up to your room."

Carter said, throwing the chip packet over to Norman.

Catching the chip packet awkwardly Norman smiled at the memory.

* * *

Norman thought about the oddness of the whole situation as he and Carter sat down on the large leather couch. Here he was drinking beer and about to watch an NBA game with Carter. If his Director had told him that is what he'd be doing out in the 'real' world, he would have thought his Director was the one who was struggling with an addiction and needed a break.

Carter turned on the TV and flicked to the sports channel, they hadn't missed anything so far. The game hadn't started and the commentators were still talking about their pick of the players. Norman took the opportunity to get more comfortable in his seat and throw the chip packet on the seat besides him, only a little ways from where Carter sat.

"Who's your team?" Carter asked, looking over to him.

Taking a sip of his beer Norman looked at Carter,

"Boston. I'm not familiar with Miami Heat."

Carter nodded his head and looked back to the game, the players were standing on the court taking up their positions as the referee came on with the ball.

"See that little prick there?"

Carter said, pointing out a shorter male on the Miami Heats team. He had tattoos up the length of his arm, though the majority were hidden by the tight black arm band he wore.

"That's Beasley, watch him throughout the game, he's fucking sneaky."

The first score came quickly with Boston scoring soon followed by a score from Miami.

Carter relaxed into the couch, Norman was quiet for most of the game so far. Only occasionally throwing in commentary about the somewhat rigid defence of Miami.

"Shit, Wade's gonna make it."

Carter scowled, the players had congested at the far end of the court, as soon as he had the opportunity the ace player from Miami took the ball and ran down the length of the court straight for the hoop.

"Nope, look at Garnet."

Norman quickly added.

The man that Norman referred to as Garnet was one of the Boston Celtics tallest players, he ran the length of the court, keeping time and distance with Wade. Normans observation was right, Garnet had chased down Wade, and just as the man was about to shoot threw himself close to the Miami Heat player, completely putting his shoot off, making him miss.

Carter nodded in appreciation of Normans observation.

"Good call Washington."

The nickname had slipped in without Carter noticing, but Norman noticed. He smiled softly and thought that perhaps now Carter was enjoying his company. He had taken the secretary's comment about Carters reaction to guests to mind, and although at the start he could tell Carter wanted him to leave he hung onto the knowledge that if Carter really did want him to leave he would have literally thrown him out by now.

"I use to play basketball back in senior year."

Norman said with a tight grin of pride.

Carter barely held back a laugh as he looked Norman up and down.

"What you? A scrawny little white boy?"

Carter said sarcastically, disbelieving that Norman could even get onto a basketball team.

Norman cocked and eyebrow and smirked,

"Yeah, and you can bet this white boy could kick your ass at some hoops."

Now Carter could believe that, his forte wasn't in basketball...or most other ball related sports. Boxing though was completely different matter, he was the state junior champion when he was 15. He didn't have much time to practice anymore, however there always was the perk of being a cop, he could easily throw in some boxing practice while on the job.

As Carter turned his attention back to that game at hand he couldn't help but imagine Norman on the court instead. From the few observations that Carter had made of Normans form, he could tell he would be perfect for basketball once he put on some more muscle. The kid would end up being like that shit from Miami, Beasley, a fast fucker to backed the taller players and stole the ball right from underneath the opponents legs. On the defensive however, Norman would get knocked around something serious.

"I use to do boxing and a bit of rugby."

Carter said, trying to hold back his smirk. He knew what Normans reactions would be, shit that kid was predictable at times.

Norman smirked sarcastically and rolled his eyes at Carter,

"Yeah well I could have guessed that."

At that Carter smirked fully, his lip stretching over his canine as he looked at Norman.

"Fuck you're full of yourself."

Norman shook his head and sighed.

This only made Carters smirk transform into a full grin, you could almost say it a leer the way Carters eyes narrowed with a satisfied feeling of pride.

"It'd be pretty hard not to be when you're this awesome."

Norman just scoffed and shook his head.

The game continued on with both men becoming more comfortable in each others company. Carter, however, had to practically force Norman to eat the chips he had given him by opening the packet for him and thrusting it in his lap.

"Look, I got the fucking chips out so you'd eat'em, don't be fucking weird and awkward right, just chill the fuck out Washington."

Norman nodded awkwardly and started slowly eating. He had only just finished his first beer so he wasn't worried about getting wasted...just yet.

He attention turned from the game to Carter, he watched curiously as Carter reached over the stack of books on the coffee table and pulled his hand back, holding something small and white.

"So what are you taking for the pain?"

Norman asked, guessing Carter was holding some form of pain killer.

"Vicodin." Carter stated, throwing the pill in his mouth and washing it down with some beer.

Norman breathed out a laugh in disbelief,

"And you're drinking while you're on it?"

Carter rolled his eyes and looked at Norman,

"I've only had two beers right, it's not going to kill me."

"Just watch it with that crap, otherwise the addiction will kill you."

Norman stated bluntly, he held Carters gaze and hoped the warning would sink in. However the response he got was not exactly what he was hoping for.

Carters top lip twitched up into a smirk then turned transformed into a full blown grin,

"What? This coming from you? Fucking head-case addict."

Norman sighed loudly and looked back to the game on the television,

"Fuck you Carter, just giving you some fucking advice."

Carter couldn't help but smile at Normans...concern? Could he really push the statement Norman had said that far? It was such a small gesture of kindness for Norman to say that, and yet Carter felt that that had been the most concerned anyone had felt about him in quite a number of years and holy shit that was saying something. He didn't need any ones concern of course and barely ever deserved it, he could handle any situation that came his way. Norman may not have noticed it, but it left a lasting impression on Carter.

Deciding not to think on the matter any more Carter turned his attention back to the game. But he couldn't wipe off that smile from his face nor could he stop himself from glancing at Norman from the corner of his eye whenever he had the chance.

* * *

The game had ended with Boston winning triumphantly over Miami. As the adverts started, both men stayed seated in the leather couch, unsure of what to do next. Both men had their own agendas for wanting to stay where they were. Norman wanted to stay longer to take advantage of Carters effect on his withdrawal, while Carter wanted Norman to stay longer for his surprisingly enjoyable company.

"Good game huh."

Carter said, getting up off the couch and gathering up the beer bottles.

"Yeah, Garnet kicked ass."

Norman said smiling, he followed Carters lead and stood up,Carter smiled back to him and walked into the hallway and through to the kitchen. Norman preoccupied his flustered hands by brushing down his suit pants and straightening his tie.

Norman scanned the room quickly, looking for anything that could be the topic for a conversation, in turn holding off his departure.

He spotted a picture of a young girl sitting on one of the many shelves on the book shelf. She had thick black wavy hair and had a oddly familiar smirk. He walked up to the bookshelf to inspect the picture closer.

Norman heard Carter walk into the room and turned around to face him,

"Cute kid...she..yours?"

The question felt like a needle in his throat. The question hung in the air, Carter looked away from Norman and cleared his throat.

Norman was frozen waiting for an answer. The needle of a question sliced through him as he breathed each breath in that short about of time that it took for Carter to make eye contact with him and answer.

"She's my sister."

Carter answered matter-factually.

Norman visibly relaxed and exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding, but Norman wasn't the only one that had a strong reaction to the question and answer.

Norman watched in curiosity as Carters whole body visibly tensed in a matter of seconds. Norman noticed it all, the straightening to his shoulders, the subtle tensing of his biceps visible even through the green sweatshirt he wore, the locking of the jaw and even the flaring of his nostrils.

Normans hand slid off from the shelf where it currently rested, right next to the picture of the little girl.

"Oh...I'm guessing she's no longer with us."

Norman stated, trying to keep the statement as polite and respectful as possible.

Carter looked away and ran a hand through his hair, his lip twitched into a smirk as he scoffed,

"Yeah, you could say that...she..."

_'what the fuck am I doing?'_

"She was...used to prove a point..."

_'fucking shut up you dumb fuck!'_

"Mob related shit."

Carter finished, he sighed heavily and looked around the room quickly, anything to take his attention off the topic at hand.

His eyes were captured by Normans shiny leather shoes coming closer. His eyes travelled up the length of Normans body till they rested on his soft grey-blue eyes.

The were close now, only a few hands distance between them.

"I'm sorry to hear that Carter."

Norman said sincerely, he hoped Carter would see his sincerity reflected in his eyes and accept the small gesture. He could see the grief was still present and fresh in his eyes, he had more questions but he left them behind, not wanting to infringed on Carters grief any more.

"Yeah well...happened ages ago...shit happens."

Carter said, trying to quickly bring himself under control and change the atmosphere.

"What about you? You got any siblings?"

Norman smiled and shook his head,

"Nah, only child."

Carters upper lip twitched,

"Yeah that'd be right."

Just as Norman was about to reply, he saw Carters attention change, he frowned and turned his head towards the files on top of the coffee table. Running his thumb and forefinger past his lips and through his beard Carter reached forward with his other hand and flipped through the files.

Norman moved closer to see what had suddenly caught Carters attention. It was a picture of a young woman with long ginger hair. Attached to the picture was another smaller one, it pictured another young woman with long black hair pulled back, smiling brightly at the camera.

Suddenly Carter snapped the file closed and spoke,

"Fucking hell...she was just a scapegoat, a lamb for slaughter, that whole fucking time..."

Carter dropped the file and quickly walked over to the stairway near the entry, leaving Norman standing awkwardly in the lounge room.

As Carter raced up the stairs to the second floor Norman stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked around. Noticing the television was still on he reached over and turned it off. Sighing lightly Norman sat back down on the couch and started flipping through his own set of files.

_'OK that was weird...even for a cop'_

Normans head turned towards the entry way as he heard the thumping footsteps of Carter coming quickly down the steps.

Carter was now wearing his usual blue shirt and black suit pants, his black tie hung loosely around his neck as his hands were busy buckling up his belt.

He looked over to Norman, looking like he only just noticed the Ex-Agent was in his house.

"Hey Washington, you wanna come along while I see this witness? I'll drop you back after I'm done."

"Sure Boston, I'll come along."

Norman said getting up off the leather couch, making sure to bring the set of files from Perry along.

As Carter finished tying his tie he smirked and cocked an eyebrow at Norman,

"Boston?"

Norman shrugged with a smile,

"Sure why not."

Carter kept smiling and shook his head, he slipped on his black trench coat and replied,

"You're not just Washington cause of the city you're from."

Norman frowned in curiosity.

"...pfft, alright you want another nickname then?"

Norman said confused.

Carter glanced over to Norman and smirked,

"That's enough out of you Washington."

"Here"

Carter continued, throwing Norman a scarf from the coat rack.

"This way you won't have any excuse to complain about being freezing."

The scarf Norman held in his hands was dark blue in colour and thick and warm in it's texture.

Norman saw Carters hand on the door knob and quickly wrapped the scarf around his neck and grabbed his own jacket from the coat rack.

"And that ain't a keep sake either right. I want that and my shirt back you heard me?"

Carter said seriously, but the effect it was meant to have was lost with the genuine smile on Carters face.

* * *

A/N =^_^=

First of all I would like to send out an apology to those of you who watch basketball, I know I didn't go into detail or use any terminology....buuut if you wanted that then you should probably read a basketball fanfiction...if they have one. I didn't include any of that because for those who don't know anything about basketball then it would have made no sense and would have been super boring as I described the game...

The game was actually based off of Boston Celtics vs Miami Heat play off in April.

It may seem like I'm a fan of basketball...but I'm not really haha, but I may soon be converted, watching this game was awesome.

:D Boston isn't the only nickname I've got hehe. The other one won't be used just yet...

Anyways enough of my useless chatter.


	16. Chapter 16

Norman stared out the car window in boredom, the icy rivulets of water cascading down glimmered brightly with each street light they passed. The car trip had gone by slowly so far with neither man saying a word since they had gotten in the car. Norman didn't know their destination and didn't care enough to break the comfortable silence. He was somewhat nervous about meeting a witness with Carter, the few times they had been on patrol together on the OK case didn't go so well. He didn't want to step over the invisible line with Carter and fuck up their fragile relationship. He had been surprised that Carter had invited him along, he obviously felt comfortable enough with their relationship and trusted Norman enough not to interfere with his case. Norman smiled at the thought but he couldn't ignore his curiosity of the case. It had been months since he got stuck into something, and the urge to right the wrong he had made on the OK case gnawed at his subconscious. Norman sighed and rubbed his temple in thought, he knew he wasn't ready to get involved in any sort of case just yet and that only frustrated him more. Norman turned his attention else where, he wasn't going down that thought path any more, it only ever ended with himself feeling helplessly frustrated.

Normans eyes flicked over to Carter and was slightly taken aback when their eyes met. Norman quickly looked back to the side window.

"You 'right?"

Carter asked, his eyes flicking from Norman to the road.

Norman smoothed his hands down his thighs and nodded, quickly glancing over to Carter,

"Yeah fine."

Biting his lip in thought he debated whether or not to express his troubles with Carter,

_'I've already told the guy enough.'_

_'And look how far you've both gotten since he found out about Triptocaine and the ARI abuse.'_

_'Ah shit, stop being so over dramatic.'_

"It's just..."

Norman started, looking over and capturing Carters attention.

"I want to get back out there you know? I'm sick of filing papers like I'm a cadet. I feel like I'm wasting away doing that shit"

Carters eyebrow rose as he quickly glanced back at Norman, just as he opened his mouth to speak, Norman quickly spoke again.

"And I know I need to get over this addiction first, but shit. I fucking quit the FBI for fucks sake!"

Carter ran his thumb over his bottom lip and looked over to Norman,

"They'd take you back wouldn't they-"

"They've already said they will, but who knows when that'll be. It's been months and the only thing that's worked for this head fuck is being with yo-the precinct."

Norman quickly turned away and ran a hand through his hair. Ok shit that was close. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Well then quit your bitching and take the next detective test at the precinct."

Norman threw his hands in the air and turned to face Carter,

"And fuck my whole profilers career off? No fucking way!"

Carter replied simply by shrugging his shoulders.

Sighing loudly Norman continued,

"Like Perry would let me do it any way."

At this Carter slowly looked over to Norman and made eye contact before speaking,

"Depends on who you know."

Carters gaze shifted back to the road but Norman kept staring at Carter,

_'Was he insinuating what I think he was? He'd put in a good word for me?'_

Norman mentally shook he head, what was he thinking? There was no way he'd waste all those years of training to get to where he is-was- and become just a detective. He could see where Carter was coming from, it was a simple solution...but not the solution he wanted.

Shifting in his seat, Norman rested his elbow on the arm rest and cushioned his head in his palm.

"It wouldn't work any way, I'd have to become a street cop for at least two years before hand."

Carter opened his mouth to reply, but Norman quickly spoke up again,

"That'd be like you quitting your position as Lieutenant and starting as a shit kicking cadet at the FBI for four years"

Carter smirked and glanced over to Norman,

"Fuck that. I'm not working with a bunch of bureaucratic fucks."

Norman rolled his eyes and smirked back at Carter.

The car slowed down and came to a halt, with the conversation capturing all his attention Norman was at a lost to where they were, last he noticed they were entering the main part of the city.

"Come on, we're here"

Carter turned off the accelerator and threw open the drivers door. Norman followed suit and was completely surprised by the torrential rain as he shut the car door. Strong icy winds rushed down the street and threw hard rain drops in his face, Norman clutched the scarf around his neck tighter and ran around the car to catch up with Carter on the pavement.

As he caught up with the Lieutenant, his eyes were distracted by bright flashing lights up ahead. In large red neon lights the words 'THE FOXX HOLE' shone brightly over a shadowed door.

Normans eyes widened and he quickly looked across the street, now only noticing the type of establishments occupying the whole stretch of road.

_'Holy fuck he's taken me to the red light district?' _

"Carter! Where are we going?"

Norman said loudly, trying to be heard over the noise of the cars and the strong wind.

Carter turned and looked at Norman but didn't reply. Norman followed Carter over to the bouncer outside 'the foxx hole's door. The bouncer was dressed in a thick trench coat, he was all muscle and was easily taller then Carter and himself, Carter flipped out his badge and the bouncer nodded them in. His muscled arm reached out and pulled back the black door.

Carter quickly walked through with Norman following quickly at his heels. From the black street door they had entered into a narrow hallway covered in a rich satin colour, the few lights that sat on the wall threw their glow upwards, intensifying the colour. As both men reached the beaded curtain at the end off the hall the strong stench of alcohol and stale smoke wafted lazily through the air. The sound and pulse of the loud beat playing inside reverberated in Normans chest, only adding to the anxiety he felt.

_'Holy Shit, he's taken me to a fucking strip club.'_

Just as Carters hand gently parted the beaded curtain Norman spoke loudly, needing to compete with the loud music,

"I thought we were going to see a witness!"

Carter paused and looked back at Norman with a satisfied smirk,

"We are."

Pulling back the beaded curtain entirely Norman followed Carter through.

The room was large and dark, save from the dizzying neon lights bouncing off walls and lighting up the large and small stages. Straight ahead of them at the far end ran a wall of mirrors. A large stage sat in front, it came to a point with a cat walk stretching down from the mirrored walls. A dancing pole stood on either side of the stage and at the end of the catwalk stood another pole, all occupied with women running their scantily dressed bodies down and over them.

Norman quickly cleared his throat and looked else where.

To each side of Norman there sat dancing platforms surrounded by low tables and chairs. To either side the walls were lined with mirrors and seating booths.

The whole place was filled with men, their shadowed faces briefly illuminated by the fiery embers of cigarettes. The dancing platforms were all occupied, not to mention a few more private sessions backed the far end of the room.

Norman quickly moved forward as he noticed Carter walking towards the island bar in the middle of the room. It was rimmed with bright yellow lights and staffed by two young bar women, each wearing a fluorescent push up bra, barely holding themselves in.

Norman stood close by staring else where while Carter leaned on the bar,

"I'm looking for Cynthia Velázquez, often goes by the name Sonya. She in tonight?"

"Yeah, she'll be starting soon, you'll find her up stairs!"

the taller blonde replied loudly, coming closer to Carter.

"Can I get you boys anything?"

Carter shook his head and pushed himself off the bar, then noticed Norman standing near him looking like he was trying to turn invisible.

Carter smirked,

"Second thought, get Washington here a Heineken."

Normans eyes widened as he caught Carter smirking at him,

"Carter I'm fine."

Carter slapped him on the shoulder and moved to walk past him,

"I'm gonna see the witness, you stay down here and enjoy yourself."

Norman opened his mouth to reply but was pushed towards the bar. He turned around and watched as Carter made his way through the crowd and up the iron stairs leading to the open second floor.

Sighing Norman turned towards the bar and took a seat on one of the many stools. As far as the rest of the room was concerned the bar was pretty much empty. The majority of people were already seated watching the strippers, their drinks being delivered by women dressed in bare minimum lingerie.

"Washington, that's a cute name."

Norman looked up and noticed the tall blonde trying to strike up a conversation with him. She placed the bottle of beer in front of him.

"Are you from Washington? Cause that'd be so cute if you were."

Norman took a sip of his drink and decided to play nice. He looked back up and smiled,

"Yeah, I'm from Washington."

The blonde girl smiled brightly and Norman was caught off guard by how young she actually looked, she could easily pass for 17 but had to be at least 21...or perhaps that's what she had told the manager?

_'Fuck I feel old...an old fucking pervert'_

* * *

Meanwhile up stairs.

As Carter reached the second floor he turned and looked over the railing of the balcony and down to where Norman was sitting talking to the blonde bar woman.

_'Thank fuck, that kid needs to get laid'_

Before Carter could stop himself, he couldn't help but feel the old burning sting of jealousy race through him.

Sneering at his own odd behaviour Carter turned around and looked through the crowd for Cynthia.

_'Need to stop thinking about shit like that, fucking hell.'_

As far as Carter could see there were four dance platforms here and only three of them were currently occupied. He ran his eyes slowly across the closest stripper, she had long bright red hair and only wore a pink fluorescent g-string.

Hand prints painted with fluorescent paint dotted her body, they glowed brightly in the ultra violet light lighting the whole second floor. She had a following that was for sure, men surrounded her platform reaching their hands out and placing money in her tiny excuse for a g-string. As she turned around her eyes made contact with Carter and winked seductively at him. Throwing her hair back she ran her hands down her thighs and back up, she was attractive that was for sure. But Carter couldn't stop the next thought that burst into his mind,

_'I wonder what Norman would look like dressed like that?'_

Just like the thought, the picture to go with it came in a millisecond and all Carter could do was look, before he could shake his head and try to dislodge the image from his mind forever.

The image was of Norman in place of the redhead on the platform. Normans pale white skin almost seemed to glow in the ultra violet, the glowing hand prints were a neon blue and were larger on his body. They covered the top of his shoulders, his pecs, hips, a few across his arms and legs and two large hand prints rested on his tight backside. Two more were placed suggestively on the inside of his thighs, right near his neon blue g-string which did nothing to hide the size of his cock.

His eyes were lidded and inviting, lips wet and parted as his hands ran down his thighs, just like the redhead.

Carter fell out of the fantasy suddenly as someone bumped into him. His heart was beating away frantically to the image of Norman. Turing away from the redhead Carter quickly tried to change his focus and bring his mind back under control.

_'I come to a fucking strip club and the only thing that turns me on is-...no I'm not fucking going there. Just focus on your job you dumb shit.'_

Carter licked his lips in worry and took another glance around. He walked passed the dance platforms, chairs and tables and walked straight to the back door, hidden behind another huge bouncer.

Carter walked straight up to him and flipped out his badge,

"I'm Lieutenant Carter Blake, I need to speak to Cynthia Velázquez"

The bouncer frowned down at him, knocking on the door behind him the bouncer opened the door slightly and poked his head in. After saying a few words the bouncer turned back to Carter and let him through.

The room was small but long, the majority of space being taken up by clothes racks and make-up counters, he couldn't fathom the reason why such a clothes rack was even needed.

Carter slowly made his way over to the woman he recognised as Cynthia.

"Cynthia Velázquez."

Cynthia looked up at Carter and frowned.

"Lieutenant Blake."

"Is there somewhere we can talk more privately? I need to ask you a few more questions about your friend Lisa Garland."

Carter said, looking around at the other women in the dressing room.

Still frowning Cynthia nodded and lead him to the far end of the room towards another door.

* * *

Meanwhile down stairs.

The thick smell and condensed stale air seemed to surround Norman in a muggy embrace. He watched intently as business deals, drug deals and other transactions alike took place all in the cover of darkness and tuned out by the heavy pounding of the drum and bass all in the somewhat secure confines of the Foxx Hole.

The waitress had gotten board with Norman very quickly once she saw he was uninterested as a gay man and as anxious as a long tailed cat in a room of rocking chairs.

Norman changed his focus from the room, back to his empty beer bottle as he traced the rim with his finger. When Carter had first climbed the stairs to the second floor, Norman had tried to fain interest in the women around him, but it wasn't long before he felt as if he felt he was staring at a brick wall. He was distracted easily by his thoughts and worried that when Carter came back down he would see his total lack of interest in all the naked skin on display and theories would fly about his sexual orientation. Norman let a breath out and clicked his tongue in thought, he couldn't blame him really, he often wondered about his sexual orientation or lack therefore. He had only ever been sexually interested in handful of people his whole life. The two girlfriends that he tried out in his collage years didn't satisfy him either physically, emotionally or intellectually. And so he had gotten board with both even before five months were up. After those two failed attempts of appearing normal to the outside judgemental world, he considered trying men but quickly stopped that pursuit as well once he realised the few men he did date considered and expected him to act like more of a girl then the actual man that he was – something Norman was not down with.

Norman turned his attention back to the second story balcony and waited with anxious anticipation for Carter to appear.

When his body first appeared to react to Carter sexually, it had come as such a paralysing shock and Norman had wanted to forget it had ever transpired. But as with each coming day the attraction to the gruff man came too.

Norman sighed and closed his eyes,

_'It's just a side effect, get a grip.'_

His fingers smoothed across the wooly fabric of Carters scarf; still wrapped around his neck.

He sighed loudly in contempt for himself, it was just a fucking strip club, yet here he was anxiously waiting to leave like some soccer mum. Norman rolled his eyes and slipped off his bar stool, taking his drink with him Norman walked over to the closest platform (trying ever so hard to keep a calm and cool appearance). Finding a spare seat to the far right, not in direct line of the stripper, Norman sat down and smoothed out his scarf. He had been to strip clubs before back in Washington with some colleges, so he knew how to act interested in what he was seeing. He just hoped that when Carter strutted down those stairs he would see the epitome of a straight man in Norman; eyes glued to the strippers breasts, hard on between his thighs and full of burning testosterone, looking to get fucked as soon as possible.

Though the task at hand was absurdly more difficult then anyone could possibly comprehend, to keep his eyes on the stripper (who was currently grinding against the pole in a slow motion) Normans mind wondered about the life expectancy of this particular stripper. Perhaps part of his lack of interest in these women was because of the cases he had taken on years ago. The murder of one stripper was not worth the ink that someone might use to write about said unfortunate death. The seventeen deaths, all in the style of Jack the Ripper, were enough to catch the attention of the FBI and Norman Jayden along with it. He still had all the statistics of stripper life expectancy stacked neatly away in his head, but of course the numbers would change drastically from state to state. And so he sat there, not looking at the way the strippers breasts seemed to straddle of silver pole she was currently pressing herself up against, but thinking about when the poor girl might die. Would she get out of the system by then? Would she move into prostitution like so many others? Or would she die a death not worth mentioning before her 23 years were up?

Norman craned his head to look back at the staircase,

_'fuck, now I'm just depressing myself.' _

By the time Carter came down stairs, the club had filled to a considerable amount, men filed around the bar and each stage was now occupied. Carter quickly scanned the floor from his position on the steps to try and find Norman. With the lieutenants trained eyes it didn't take long for them to settle on Normans darkened face, the strobe lights would flash and roll over Normans features every few seconds illuminating and separating his face from the rest of the men seated around him. Only briefly did Carters eyes look towards the stripper that had caught Normans attention. Carter kept him in his sights as he stepped down and walked through the crowds. It didn't take long before Carter was standing right behind Norman - who seemed oblivious to his approach. While Cater was practically standing over the other man, he noticed Normans attention wasn't on the stripper in front of him nor the other strippers or even the other patrons in the club. His head was turned downward as he watched his hands, his fingers rolling the fabric of his scarf between his fingers in a methodical manner as if out of habit. Carter frowned in thought.

Norman was suddenly yanked out of thought as a strong warm hand slapped and covered his shoulder. His whole body tensed in those few seconds as his mind quickly ran through matches and the consequence of that hand, his own hand clenched into a fist in preparation for a fight. He quickly twisted his head and breathed out an annoyed sigh once he saw it was only Carter.

"Jesus Christ Carter! I nearly laid into you!" Norman yelled, his voice barely competing with the bass.

"Yeah we both know how that worked out last time, come'on"

Carters hand moved from Normans shoulder to his elbow and hoisted the other man up out of the chair in a child like manner, Carter could swear he could feel a grin wanting to break through at the sight.

By the time Norman was standing on his own, Carters hand had retreated into his trench pocket and he was making his way over to the main entrance. A thought flashed through Carters mind, stopping his steps and waiting for Norman to catch up.

"I'm heading back, you can stay if you want, catch a ride with a taxi back." Carter yelled, Norman was now only a few feet away from him.

"What? NO! Er no I'll just go back with you..." At Carters sudden rise of his eyebrow Norman felt the need to quickly explain or try to cover up his panic. "...I really should be getting back, it's not really my kind of place, I've got work any way, I'll just go back with you" Norman quickly spat the sentence out.

With a small smirk Carter leaned closer to Norman so he wouldn't have to yell, that's what he told himself anyway,

"Should'a guessed aye, wrong type of meat on display for ya."

If Carter hadn't been a hard shelled lieutenant for all these years he could swear he could have doubled over in laughter at the sight of Normans panicked face; his bulging eyes and blushing cheeks, his mouth spluttering for a retort.

Carter saved Norman from any more humiliation from his own attack by slapping the Ex-FBI agents back and shoving him towards the door, chuckling silently behind him.

* * *

A/N

Massive Apologies to all!

I'm super sorry this update took so long but please hear me out before you start throwing things.

Ok so I originally wrote most of this chapter as soon as I finished chapter15, but before I was able to finish it my inspiration died :/ sadness. So after a few months it was revived with the fantastic and never ending help from the lovely 'OnlySnakesCanLove' and I was able to finish ch16-17.

But then suddenly [dun dun dun!] My computer fucking DIED! along with my harddrive.

So this is why it has taken so long :/ Took ages to be able to buy a new computer and to get my corrupted files restored.

Fucking dammit it has taken ages!

Sorry to all and I hope you still enjoy the story D:


	17. Chapter 17

Norman sat on his hotel bed in the early morning sunlight, Monday morning had come quickly and without issues. Norman sighed in thought and walked over to the icy window. Carter had driven him back to this hotel after their ventures to the strip club, and as Norman climbed out of the car and waved Carter goodbye – watching the car slowly pull out onto the silent roads – he couldn't but feel a deep and echoing pang of loneliness. He hadn't felt that feeling for years, the last time he could recall being aware of his quiet lonesomeness was when he had started college. He had these silly adolescence hopes of finding someone that he could have a real connection with. He held onto to that hope for his first few years, but to no avail. Rather then wasting time with his frat 'friends' he spent his time in the great old library. He decided to accept this isolated reality and he was able to find a comfortable place in his new found realisation.

The situation that brought him closer to Carter, and the loneliness he felt when they weren't together was a shock to Norman. _'I should have seen it coming, I just wish I knew where I stood with him...'_

Norman arrived at the precinct before long and as he walked through the sliding doors his minds inner working caught his attention once more; he thought about the mundaneness of his current life. Before when he was working in the FBI everyday had to be different for Norman, a new case even a new route that he would take to drive to work, anything that would keep him from getting board. Norman smiled slightly as he though about how his new mundane life could never be boring for long with an unpredictable Lieutenant occupying most of his time.

Making his way through the busy early morning bustle of the precinct Norman spied a steaming cup of coffee sitting on his desk. As Norman picked up the warm cup off his desk while sitting down he noticed the folders that the coffee was sitting on – the folders he accidentally left in Carters car. Even before Norman could flick through the papers to make sure he had finished everything, Perry's old calloused hand gripped the folders right from Normans hand and preceded to flick through them.

"I trust everything is in order Jayden"

Norman took one look at Perry's tired and irritated face and took his chances that he had finished the reports,

"Yes sir."

"Good good, that's the last thing I need on my plate, after all the shit that happe-"

Perrys voice droned out as Norman turned his undivided attention on his Lieutenant as he came walking through the doors.

_'his lieutenant?'_ Norman couldn't help but keep down a small chuckle at that thought. He briefly spotted Ash walking behind Carter, who looked as if he was carrying a dark thunder cloud above head.

Perry must have seen that Normans attention was else where, because he stopped whatever he was saying and turned to look at what Norman seemed transfixed on.

"Ah Carter, Ash, a moment please."

As the two other men came to stand by Normans small desk, the ex-agent suddenly felt awkward and small. He quickly stood up and brushed his pants out of habit. Carter acknowledged him with a small nod and am almost invisible smile – only noticeable to those who would look for it, and Norman was defiantly looking for it.

"Blake, I trust you got the case files that Ash..no Norman was to deliver to you?"

In that moment where Perry and Carter fell into conversation, Norman risked a glance at Ash, only to see the other man's jaw clench and his head tilt in disdain for Norman. Norman played his poker face and looked away as if in boredom.

_'oh shit this isn't going to be good.'_

The conversation between Perry and Carter ended quickly with Perry patting Carter on the back then retreating into his office. This just left Carter, Ash and Norman standing around his small desk. Normans eyes flickered across the precinct then back at Carters blue shirt, only a few hands distance away from him. Carter cleared his throat and looked back at Ash - who curled his lip and stalked back to his desk. Carter turned back to look at Norman, but only kept eye contact for a second before looking down at Normans hands and nodding his head in goodbye before he walked over to his desk and sat down.

Normans eyes narrowed in confusion as he sat down and briefly watched Carter make himself busy with his computer.

_'well that was weird.'_

The whole feeling of the day was off, Perry's irritability was nothing out of the ordinary, but Ash's heated silent exchange and Carters almost coy behaviour – If coy could ever be in relation to Carter it was in that moment that had just past. Norman knew why Ash was pissed with him, but it was blown massively out of proportion, true or not, it didn't help his precarious relationship with Ash.

It was only later in the day that Norman would see just how deep Ash's contempt for him ran.

Norman was experiencing the joys of filing when Carter called out to him. Placing down the few files he had left to sort on top of the filing cabinets, he walked over to Carters desk where the Lieutenant was sitting. Norman stood to the side of Carters desk as Carter flipped through a folder and pulled out a suspects wrap sheet.

"What do you think of this? Doctor Kaufmann, respected doc and all that shit, but something just doesn't add up."

Norman moved closer to Carter and rested his hand on the desk to get a better look at the file.

"Just thought you might spot something with that psychology degree of yours, finally put it to use."

"You sure I don't have to look at the rest of the case to diagnose him properly?" In that moment Norman wished it could be like this more often – Carter asking for his help without being a dick about it, them both working on a case as partners without bullshit in their way. But perhaps without Ash who suddenly pipped up,

"Carter, the fuck man!"

The man in question sighed loudly and rolled his shoulders standing up,

"Fucking chill Ash! If Norman can find something we couldn't then great, if not, so fucking what, and Norman-"

Carter paused to get Normans attention away from the file,

"-all you need to know about this guy is in this file, I'm gonna get a coffee, you want one?"

Norman quickly nodded a yes then turned his attention back to the file on the desk. Only a few moments had passed before Norman realised someone was watching him, ever so slowly he lifted his head to discover Ash staring at him from across the desk.

"You might have Blake fooled you fucking fag, and Perry too. But I don't fucking trust you." Ash stood up and seemed to slowly stalk towards Norman who quickly stood up straight,

"I'm not asking you to Ash, i'm just trying to do my job"

Ash was only a hands distance away from Norman now, he scoffed at Normans comment,

"Yeah right, your fucking job, you're a fucking fed and something aint right here."

Norman was feeling nervous now but he wouldn't give any ground and back up. If him pulling a gun on Carter in the middle of the precinct when they were on the OK case didn't get attention from anyone, then this dispute wasn't going to even get a mention.

"Why were you so keen to take those files to Carter like a fucking lap dog hey? What the fuck did you want with them?"

Ash's fisted Normans tie and yanked him closer, almost spitting on his face as he snarled out abuse. Yanking Ash's hand from his tie Norman stumbled backwards a few steps,

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you paranoid fuck!"

And in that split second after he shouted his retort, he could see the hooked arm, the clenched fist coming towards his face with unblock-able speed. The next thing Norman noticed was the loud crack of his jaw, blood in his mouth and the jarring of his brain. And in a heartbeat Ash's solid punch had sent Normans head smack bang into the filing cabinet a few feet away from where he stood. Now that had caught the precincts attention, not that it would help now.

"That all you got you littler fucker!" Ash was quick to stand over Norman who was half hanging onto the filing cabinet, blood dribbling from his cut lip. Before he could stand himself up, Ash's boot had collided with Normans gut, stunning him and causing him to fall back against the cabinets with a loud groan. Clenching his fists tightly Norman prepared to launch himself at Ash, but before he could even straighten his knees there was a blue blur and Ash was thrown into the water barrel. The loud banging of the barrel and Ash's body on the floor along with the glug gluging of the water onto the precincts floor had no match to the resounding crack of the fist that had slammed into Ash's face.

Finally standing up and seeing straight Norman looked from Ash's slow moving body as he picked himself up, to his saviour that had gotten in his way. His eyes made contact with deep blue narrowed eyes, Carter stood only a foot away, hand clenched and chest lightly heaving. They both stood there dumbly staring at each other, the groaning of Ash, the gluging of the water and the whispers of the precinct faded out. It was only the two of them, Norman with his bloody lip and aching jaw to Carters clenched fist and fresh coffee stains on his blue shirt from where he dropped the cups of coffee in a rush to get to Norman.

"What the hell is going on here!" Perry's loud shout cut them both from their stupor. It only took a moment for Perry to survey the scene and put two and two together, and even a moment less to order Ash and Carter into his office, telling Norman to 'go clean your self up man!'

Norman was quick to leave the gawking faces of the onlookers and retreat into the bathroom. Pushing the door open he shakily walked over to the end basin and looked in the mirror. Norman grimaced at the damage Ash's punch had inflicted on his face – his bottom lip had a nasty break through it and was already swelling and turning purple, his right cheekbone already had a sickly yellow tinged bruise forming, no doubt in ten minutes it would turn deep purple.

"Son of a bitch!" Norman spat out blood into the sink and moved his jaw around. Sighing loudly he turned away from the mirror and leaned heavily on the basin. Norman winced as he gingerly moved his jaw around with his hand.

"fucking asshole nearly knocked my head right off."

Normans neck felt all locked up and tight, his fall into the filing cabinets hadn't done his back any good either. All round he felt like he had been through the mill. But as for one punch wonders, Ash's couldn't top Mad Jacks, now those knocks had done quite a number on his body, but since then he had lost weight along with the muscle that would have helped lessen the severity of his fight with Ash. Norman turned around and spat more blood from his lip into the sink. Normans other hand slid to his aching stomach where Ash had kicked him, he sighed loudly as he moved his hand away, he couldn't be bothered checking for bruising right now, standing up straight didn't hurt too much, couldn't be too bad Norman thought.

"didn't even get one hit in thanks to Carter."

But Norman wasn't sure that even if he did manage to get at least one hit in that it would have any impact on Ash, his strength had weakened over these past few months. Carters involvement had been a god send and Norman knew it, much to his prides annoyance.

_'fucking tripto.' _

Meanwhile in Captain Perry's Office.

"What the fuck is wrong with you two!" Perry shouted, he paced back and forth behind his desk as the two detectives stood in front of his desk at either end – obviously trying to be as far apart as possible without causing Perry to shout at them for another reason. "I've got a fucking press conference in two hours! Imagine what could have happened if the press got a whiff of this! I can see the headlines now 'Police Brutality Knows No Bounds, fights break out in the streets and the in the precinct."

"Captain-"

"I don't want to hear a word from your mouth Ash, from what I hear you started this whole mess."

"But Captain!" Ash tried once more,

"I don't want to hear why you felt obliged to hit Jayden into a filing cabinet! I don't want to hear a sound from you again for the rest of the day! Got it?"

Throwing an angry glance over at Carter then looking back at Perry, Ash nodded. His clothes stuck to him uncomfortably from all the water that had crashed over him. He held an icepack to his cheek that Charlene had given to him – not that it did him any good – his head was throbbing loudly and his left eye was blurred, no doubt Carter would have busted a blood vessel, _'son of bitch.'_

Sighing loudly – surely just for effect – Perry sat down at his desk and turned his attention towards Carter.

"Carter, you of all people shouldn't have to be reminded the consequences of hitting another officer, I allow your treatment of suspects to continue because you get the job done, but hitting another officer – no matter what the reason – in my precinct I will not allow! I should have you suspended! And for god sake man do something with that shoulder!"

Carters eyes only widened briefly at Perrys mention of his shoulder, he quickly glanced down to his right and saw blood slowly soaking through the bandage underneath to his shirt, _'shit I must have pulled the stitches.'_ Carter took a quick glance over at Ash and locked eyes with the man with the swollen jaw, he couldn't keep down a small smirk, _'stitches or not I would do it again for what he did.'_

"Carter! You can leave, go to the doctors if you need but I'll be finishing this conversation with you later." Perry sighed loudly and massaged his temple in annoyance.

Carter didn't bother replying or even nodding at the Captain, as soon as Perry had finished speaking Carter quickly turned and left the office – barely stopping his hand from slamming the office door closed – he really didn't want to push Perry into acting on his threat on his suspension.

In house fights were common enough, especially when they involved Carter, so he was surprised that the fight between the three men hadn't been forgotten. Officers and lackeys alike threw him curious and cautious glances – it probably didn't help that his right shoulder was bleeding like a bitch right now. Sneering at anyone he happened to make eye contact with Carter quickly scanned the main room then decided that Norman would be cooped up in the bathroom no doubt nursing an angry bruise and busted lip.

_'Is wasn't how it was meant to go.'_

Carter slowly pushed the bathroom door open, hoping to briefly spy on Norman without him noticing. Carter was rewarded for his sneaky efforts by catching the scene at hand – Norman was bent slightly over the sink, his belt buckle grazing the porcelain as he tried to get as close to the mirror as possible. His head was very so slightly tilted back and his bottom lip was set in a pout as he carefully dabbed a soggy piece of tissue paper against his busted lip.

Carter didn't know what thought he'd swear by as he watched Norman tenderly nurse himself, there were just too many thoughts, piling up upon one another.

_'God he's such an idiot'_

_'Can't take a fucking punch'_

_'I didn't get there in time'_

_'Can't stay out of trouble for two minutes'_

_'Bureaucratic pussy'_

_'I want him for my own' _

_'He's so naive.'_

Enough was enough, Carter was sick of this heat in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Norman. Setting his face in a frown Carter strode into the bathroom making his presence known to the other man. Normans eyes rose as he saw Carter angrily walking towards him – and wait what was that? A fucking bloody shoulder to match that thunder face.

"Carter!" Norman stepped away from the sink, the soggy tissue forgotten in his hand, "your shoulder-"

"Shut up Norman" Carter said, barely making eye contact with him as he snatched the tissue away from Normans limp hand and threw it into the sink, "What the fuck difference do you think that's going to make? Now come here."

Carter stepped much closer to Norman, unknowingly making the other man back into the wall. His frown lessened as he roughly gripped Normans jaw with one hand and turned his head from side to side. Norman held his breath as Carters strong hand gripped his jaw, his muscles went tense, not knowing to expect. But it quickly became clear when he saw Carters gaze settle on his bruised cheek bone.

Clicking his tongue in annoyance Carters thumb stretched across Normans pale chin to his cracked lip. He gently grazed his thumb across the wound in curiosity but at the sound of Normans wince, he pulled his thumb away quickly.

His hand dropped completely and he stepped back – only slightly, but it must have been enough because Norman let out a breath and relaxed against the wall – if only for a moment.

Norman opened his mouth to ask about Carters shoulder but all that came out was a loud squeak as he felt Carters rough hands pulling his shirt out from his pants.

"Carter!" Norman hissed, this time keeping his voice low. His hands shot out and gripped Carters wrists, "what are you doing?"

Sighing loudly Carters hands paused hanging at Normans belt, part of the shirt bunched up in his hands,

"fucking dumbass you think I'm about to feel you up? you got kicked in the stomach right? I've got to check the bruise."

"What! No you don't! I have!" Norman squeaked once more, his hands busy trying to get Carter to let go of his shirt.

Normans heart was beating too fast, he was paranoid Carter could hear it, paranoid that Carter knew where he really wanted those hands.

"Then why is your shirt tucked in?" Carter sighed and took his hands away, leaning on the sink next to him. At Normans blank face Carter became pissed off all over again. But before Carter could say a word Norman quickly spoke,

"What the fuck happened to your shoulder!"

Carter half heartedly looked down at this right shoulder, _'yep still bloody, probably stopped by now, suppose I should do something with that.'_

"I'll deal with that in a minute, now fucking take off your shirt."

"Carter I'm not doing a thing while your shoulder is fucking bleeding like that." Norman made quick work of stuffing his shirt back into his pants, trying to hardest not to think about how close those hands had gotten.

"Suit yourself but you're coming with me." Carter quickly reached out with his left hand and gripped Normans forearm, yanking him across the room as Carter quickly strode towards the bathroom door.

The contact was quickly gone between them as the bathroom door opened and they stepped out into the main room once more. But Carter didn't hang around, he quickly walked towards the Interrogation Observation Room and the cells and down a small corridor. Norman followed close behind briefly noticing the precinct had gone back to normal once more.

The corridor led to another open room but much smaller to the main room of the precinct, there were doors leading off the corridor on each side, and before Norman could get a proper look as to what was in the other open room, Carter pushed open one of the small doors to the side. The doorway seemed so small as Carter walked through it and as the other man made his way into the small room Norman finally knew where they were. To the right there was a small white bed pushed up against the wall, stacked upon the other walls where shelves and cupboards filled with all sorts, and nestled in amongst all this was a small arm chair, a wall mirror and a sink standing right beside him. Norman let out a breath of air, they were in the first aid room. Carter flicked on the light, it's overly bright fluorescent bulb illuminated all that was kept on the shelf's, and array of medical instruments and drugs alike. The room was so small and packed it made Norman feel the slightest bit claustrophobic.

Normans eyebrows rose as he looked around, "If this were the FBI they'd have all this locked up."

"Yeah well, we got rid of that rule ages ago, too many pissed of cops being pissed off at ass holes when they lost the key, meanwhile they had a fucking blood nose that could fill the grand canyon."

Norman slightly squinted in confusion at Carter, he was expecting to hear some comment about crackpot FBI agents, not such a long – if not lousy – explanation from such a short tongued man.

It was only then that Norman actually stopped looking around the room and noticed what Carter was doing. The other man was leaning on the arm of the armchair, undoing the buttons of his shirt. His fingers were quickly popping each button and Norman couldn't help but anticipate the popping of the top button while also being consumed by the feeling that he was watching something that he shouldn't. But he couldn't turn away, still standing dumbly near door.

Before Carter popped the top button he looked up at Norman and caught him in the middle of his inner confusion,

"Close the door would ya Washington."

"...ah, yeah yeah, sure." Norman quickly turned away and closed the door, maybe a little to fast for Normans liking.

Carter barely held in a grin at Normans awkwardness.

Normans hands were still pressed against the cold door and it was only now that Norman noticed the small window in the door, right about his head height. Normans eyes widened, _'oh shit any body can see in!...wait, what? Why does that matter? Oh shit I have to get a hold of myself.' _

Norman turned away from the door and carefully sat on the very edge of the bed – not wanting to sit down at all but he felt to awkward to just stand there! While trying to look as relaxed and board as possible Norman tried to gather his thoughts and throw them to the wind, _'too many mind, too many mind.'_

But he never finished his goal as his attention was suddenly thrown back to Carter as the man had just pulled his shirt back revealing a tight white singlet covering his chest. Carter and had pulled one arm from the arm hole and was carefully preparing to pull the other through. At this Norman wasn't sure if he should lend his assistance, would Carter be pissed off at him again? Was it really a good idea to get any closer? And by god it was bright in here what if he blushed! There'd be no saving his own skin then!

But the decision was already made up when Norman spotted the bloody bandage tapped across Carters shoulder, right near his collar bone. Norman stood up and in just a few steps was right next to Carter, helping to pull the last section of his shirt off. Carter was trying not to wince, but from this added height being the only one standing, Norman could see the strain on Carters temple.

Normans jumbled thoughts were suddenly and finally smashed by the heavy realisation that Carter had pulled his stitches when he had defended him against Ash.

"...I'm sorry Carter." Normans face became sullen as he took Carters shirt and dropped it in the sink.

Carter grumbled a "Don't mention it" as he started peeling off the bandage from his shoulder. Norman turned around to look at Carter then scanned the shelves. Walking past Carter, Norman picked out some anti-septic lotion, cotton bandage pads and a new thick square bandage that he found in one of the cupboards. By the time Norman was finished Carter had peeled off most of his bandage to reveal a nasty looking tear in the skin, only a few threads could be seen of where the stitches once were. Norman put the supplies on the bed and moved towards Carter. He kneeled on the ground next to Carters side as Carter pulled the last section of his bandage off. Without thinking Norman carefully reached out and gently touched the red skin surrounding the newly open wound.

It was then that Norman noticed Carters chest; just the lack of his blue shirt or even the bareness of his muscled arms were enough to draw Normans attentions completely in, the tight white fabric of the singlet wasn't enough to hide his chest muscles on his thick build or the black chest hairs lining the top of said singlet. He wasn't even half naked but holy shit did it feel like it! his fingers were pressed against his hard muscle, surrounded by his black chest hair and he could feel Carters hot breath on his face as the other man watched him. It was for only a moment but it was enough to make an impact on both men and to cause a series of sensations to rush through Norman. He quickly pulled his hand away and stood up, promptly turning towards the bed to hide his blushing face. _'what's wrong with me.'_

"That's going to need new stitches" Norman stated the obvious, but it was all he could think of in his panicked state, "You should go to the hospital."

Norman shifted his head to the side as he heard Carter stand up and walk over towards the cupboards, "I can do it myself, done it plenty of times."

'Knock, Knock'

there was sudden a knock at the door and before either man could answer it, it opened. A young cadet popped his head in the door, looking from Carter to Norman.

"..aa.." The young man stammered, he hated being a cadet, it was always the cadets that were called to help when a scary officer had gotten them selves hurt. "Charlene suggested that..that you might need hel-assistance..?"

Carter frowned as he thought for only a moment, _'stitching with my left hand is a bitch.'_

"Norman you know how to stitch a wound?"

Normans was reluctant to make eye contact but he replied,

"yeah, yeah sure no problem."

The young cadet threw a cautious glance between the two men,

"ok then great, all sorted.." he quickly closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief, Carter was the scariest of them all.

"You know Norman..."

Norman turned back to Carter,

"..you should really put an icepack on that cheek of yours, it's going to start swelling up real soon" Carter tapped a lower cupboard near him and continued to look through the shelves. Norman nodded to himself and headed over to Carter, when he opened the cupboard that Carter had pointed out Norman saw a range of ice packs filling the mini freezer disguised as a cupboard.

Norman winced as he bent low to retrieve them, oh yeah that stomach bruise was speaking to him now. Standing up slowly as to not hurt his stomach further – and not to draw Carters attention - Norman brought out with him two ice packs, one to hold against his cheek and another one to hold against his lip. As the stinging ice was pressed against his lower lip Norman pulled it back to reveal dried blood. Looking back at Carter then turning around towards the sink Norman placed the ice packs on the side of the small sink as he set about cleaning his bottom lip of crusty blood.

"Shove over Washington," Norman heard his nickname for the second time today and turned his head around to see Carter standing right next to him. If Norman didn't have water all over his mouth and Carter didn't look pissed off enough he could swear he would have burst out laughing at the sight of them cramped together in this small room. Carter standing there half naked with a red sore bullet wound and a irritated frown as Norman stood bent over the small sink splashing water over his -sure to be- fat lip with a sore bruise marking his cheekbone.

But still Norman couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he moved out of Carters way and grabbed his ice packs. Sitting on the bed while holding two ice packs against his face he couldn't help but smile stupidly at how ridiculous they must look right now.

But Carter was not in the same mood that Norman was, he was busy washing that sore as hell bullet wound on his shoulder. In the past 20 minutes Carters mood had dropped and spiked, with the closeness of the other man his mood spiked but with the pain of his wound and seeing Normans wounds his mood would drop and he'd get frustrated with Norman all over again.

"What the fuck Norman!" Carter said angrily while flushing his wound with antiseptic fluid ready for stitches. _'fuck that hurts.'_

The sudden change from 'Washington to what the fuck Norman' had Norman pulled out of his little daze and into reality where he was sharing a very small room with a very sore lieutenant.

"err..."

"What the fuck did you say to Ash huh?" Carter turned around to face Norman, a wet cloth pressed against his wound, the water trickled down the side of this peck to his stomach and rolled all the way down to his belt line, and for a moment Norman really didn't know what Carter was talking about. But that was enough of Normans silence to be translated into a guilty concious by Carter.

"I know you can say some fucking dumb shit some times Norman, what was it!"

Norman quickly pulled himself together and hopped off the bed, it didn't take long for his mood to shift either.

"I didn't say a fucking thing! That psycho went off at me for no fucking reason! He's fucking paranoid, thinks I'm spying for the FBI or some shit, how should I know! You're his fucking partner!"

The room was too small, the sounds of their argument reverberated off the walls and it took a moment for silence to surround them once again.

Carter sighed and threw the wet cloth on the side of the sink where his shirt now lay. He knew Ash wouldn't have had a good enough reason, he always guessed that this would happen sooner or later.

"..Fucking sounds like him."

It was silent for a few more moments before Carter picked up one of Normans ice packs on the bed right next to the man and gently pressed it against Normans cheek. At first Norman flinched away from the other man's touch, the argument had barely ended and suddenly Carter was tending to his bruise. But before Norman could turn away Carters other hand lashed out and gripped the underside of his jaw – holding Norman completely still – the stark contrast between Carters strong hand gripping his jaw, holding him captive, and the gentle pressure of the icepack on his cheek hardly came as a surprise to Norman; who now had witnesses the sudden rough touch turn gentle, as if Carter wasn't aware of his own strength...or was so blatantly aware that he knew just how to use it.

Norman was still frowning at him from his captive position, but his breathing quietened and soon Norman closed his eyes in a sigh. The moment didn't last long enough for Carter, he wanted to remember Normans face when he was frustrated but resigned; his eyes closed in slight frown, his jaw somewhat clenching each time Carter pressed the icepack to his bruised cheek and most memorial were his lips, just a shade off light pink – almost comical to Carter – and pressed so perfectly into an annoyed pout you might find on a child instead of a grown man.

Norman reached up and took the icepack from Carters hand. He sat down with a 'huff' and looked away as he reached for the smaller ice pack.

"Thanks..by the way..for helping me out back there."

Carter looked around the room, feeling awkward, not knowing what to say to that anymore. He suddenly felt as if the cage that had kept his heart from the world had developed a crack, a small crack that only Norman could see. Worried and almost scared that he would find a way in from the world that he shielded himself from as best he could. As a detective he made it is job to blend in with the darkness of the streets, to know it's secrets and the people it hid. He made sure he was harder then those he hunted, that he was professional, he never got too close to a case – to a witness – or to anyone that could make him feel. He had seen what people could do and the suffering that their actions had caused. He just needed to keep his facade going and get through life and not get beaten down by the constant frustration and impatience of his job and the constant stress. It was easier when people thought he was simple, he didn't like people, and his reputation on the streets and in the precinct helped with this job.

Carter quickly turned his attention back to the present, back to something simple.

"I need to teach you how to block."

Lifting the ice block off his cheek Norman rolled his jaw around slightly, "No body could have blocked that left hook."

"I have." Carter replied, but without the common smirk. It didn't stop Norman from rolling his eyes though. Carter gathered up his stitching equipment and sat on the small single bed near Norman.

"Alright fine, I'll teach you how to read people."

"That's my job ass hole."

"And you're doing a damn fine job." at that Carter did smirk and Normans only reply was a small sneer and a roll of the eyes.

"You know even if I stitch this you're going to have to go to the hospital to get the inner stitches checked out."

Norman said reaching across and taking the needle, thread, forceps and scissors, and ripping open the packets and pulling out the stitching equipment.

"Yeah, it doesn't feel that bad, it's probably only the surface stitches that are busted."

Norman threaded the needle and scooted closer to Carter, "Are you sure you cleaned and sterilised the wound well enough?"

"Oh for fuck sake, give me the needle and I'll do it my self." Carter reached forward with his good arm and half-heartedly tried to grab the needle from Normans hand.

"Ok, shit, fine. But if there is any shit stuck in there don't complain to me." Norman brought his right knee up onto the bed so he could get a better angle at Carters shoulder. In response Carter turned his upper body towards the other man. Norman scooted closer to Carter again so that this time his bent knee and calf were pressed up against the side of Carters thigh.

Trying hard to concentrate on the task at hand and not at heat from Carters body, Norman readied the needle with the needle holder.

"Alright, I'm just going to do a simple interrupted stitch ok, it won't hold for more then a few days so you have to go to the hospital and-" At Carters loud exaggerated sigh Norman decided he better get started.

Gripping the small scissors tightly in one hand Norman placed his other hand against the abused skin and started to unpick and pull out the broken stitches. Even with all his attention glued to the bullet wound Norman couldn't help but notice Carters wince and quick intake of air. Being this close to the other man and having his hand firmly pressed against him Norman could feel and see Carters reaction to the stitches; the shock of energy running through his muscle to tense his biceps in pain, the quick tension that would gather in Carters neck at each pull and the slight relief once a thread had been removed.

Dropping all the broken threads into the small metal dish that Carter had brought with him Norman dropped the scissors and picked up a sterilising wipe. Quickly ripping open the packet and none to gently wiping it against Carters skin before the other man could protest.

Taking a quick look at Carters face and not getting any eye contact Norman gripped the needle holders tightly in one hand and placed his other hand against the skin and pushed the needle through the sore red skin. Norman made sure he was as quick as possible without creating a dodgy stitch, pulling the thread through then cutting off the other end Norman made a double knot tight against the skin then started on the next knot stitch.

"You know talking will take your mind off the pain."

There was silence for a moment while Norman pushed the needle through the skin again and out the other side.

"...It's not that ba-" Carter started but was cut off by his own wince. His wound was still too raw, the flesh hadn't had any real time to heal.

_'Bad fucking time to bust the stitch.'_

As Norman tied off the thread and pulled a tight knot against the bloody skin he was shadowed by a fog of guilt; it wasn't the first time someone had been injured because of Normans incompetence, a few years back one of his partners had ended up shooting and killing a suspect after they had started attacking Norman – if only he was able to fight them off and deck them to the ground then the case would have gone smoother...and Christian wouldn't have had a death on his concious. Christian told him it was his decision; he had made his choice the second he pulled back the trigger. But Norman still felt he was too blame. An Agent must be ready at all time, be focused and competent – among other things. But it was now that one area that Norman felt himself lacking. Sure Carter hadn't busted his stitches or even been shot on a routine run with him, it was just an in-house fight, but although less of an impact as the shooting of the suspect on Christians part, his connection with Carter had gotten far too strong too quickly, he now felt responsible for the fight in the precinct. Norman closed his eyes in annoyance and he snipped off the excess thread, _'only moments ago I was blaming Ash; the real culprit'_

But it didn't come as a surprise, since he was young he had always felt a misplaced sense of responsibility and with that terrible guilt, but shit why did it have to come back now? He had thought he had killed and buried that damn issue. _'Dammit it was Carters decision, I didn't even ask for his help, he wasn't even in the same room for Christ's sake!' _

Norman couldn't help himself, he had to say something...again.

"You didn't have to do it Carter, I had it under control."

"And what part of the fight did you have _under control_?" Carter locked eyes with Normans "I noticed you had the whole falling in the filing cabinets and getting your ass kicked part under control. But I think you've missed the basic aspects of a fight Washington – Defence and Offence, and you weren't in _control_ of either one of them." Carter finished with a small joking smirk, the type that was now becoming a regular occurrence when Norman was around.

Norman 'huffed' and resisted the urge to roughly push the needle through the skin, but even as he did it carefully Carter made a wincing sound and grabbed the top of his shoulder with this other hand as if Norman had been rough, "Vindictive are we?" Carter joked smiling almost cheekily. Norman caught on and replied "Don't tempt me Carter."

A silent moment passed as their eyes drifted away from one another, Norman returned his focus back to the stitches but Carters focus didn't stay on the far wall long; his eyes drifted back to the other mans pale face. _'He better hurry up and put the icepack on those bruises.' _

"...all i'm saying is that you shouldn't have felt obligated to..help me back there" Norman continued saying, though what he said next Carter nearly missed it, Norman spoke so quietly; "You wouldn't have on the OK case."

Carter tried to catch Normans eyes but the other man was avoiding his gaze – as best he could considering they were only a few inches apart. Carter wanted to convey what he felt through his gaze, he didn't want to speak to it aloud; the stakes were too high if Norman refused him.

At Normans refusal to make eye contact Carter tried to form words in his suddenly dry throat. He needed to say something...anything, just...just not what he really felt.

Carter shifted on the bed slightly and cleared his throat then chastised himself _'shit now it's going to seem like I'm working up to something!' _

"We've both changed a lot since then." Carters voice was soft, almost as much as Normans.

_'Finally!' _

Norman finally made eye contact with Carter; his face – to Normans ever present surprise – was sincere, but most surprising was the vulnerability and determination in his gaze, as if he had dared himself to say it.

"You...you're the one that has changed." Norman quietly replied, continuing with the stitches but flickering his gaze up to meet with Carters once again.

Carter nodded very briefly and looked away from Norman. His eyes scanned the shelves as he absorbed the feeling of Normans breath on his shoulder as it glided across this partially naked chest and over his neck. It seemed every moment he spent with the Ex-FBI agent there were times that he could easily give into curiosity and temptation, the continuity of these moments where starting to frustrate Carter a little too regularly now. Turning his attention back to Norman, Carter spoke once again, keeping his voice at the quiet tone they had accidentally created, making the room seem smaller as the moment turned into something more intimate.

"You can't honestly say you haven't changed, you never went so far for my company as you do now."

"Well that's only because now I'm not in fear of you latching onto my neck at any given moment."

As soon as the words slipped from Normans mouth his heart sped up a pace, _'oh god, did that sound gay? Oh shit what if he, if he, if he-'_ Norman was saved from his thoughts as Carter replied. Only a few seconds had passed but that was too big a pause for Normans nerves.

"You never know, I could just jump you one day" Carter smirked at Norman then quickly looked away, _'oh fuck, did that sound gay? It fucking did!'_

The room quickly fell into a awkward silence as both men fretted over what they had just said, neither taking much notice of what the other had accidentally insinuated.

After a few minutes and a stitch later Norman cleared his throat, "Last stitch."

Carter turned to watch Norman as he threaded the needle once more and pushed it through the skin, his other hand carefully gripping skin on either side of the tear making it easier for the needle to go through. All Carter wanted to do was watch Norman silently but his thoughts wouldn't let him be, he felt nagged to say something, worried the silence would turn awkward suddenly. Beating down his impulse to speak Carter indulged himself by studying Norman completely, from his soft brunette locks, his messy dark eyebrows and down his pale white neck straight to his worn brown leather shoes. Norman had a good lean build, he had lost some weight – much to Carters disappointment, _'kid needs to eat more...maybe I should take him somewhere, make sure he eats a decent meal.' _

Norman was about as tall as Carter, not something that Carter cared too much about, he was never a tall kid, he didn't need height to intimidate or dominate, he had the build and skills to do that. Though he couldn't say that if Norman was shorter then him that he wouldn't have gotten a thrill from it, the fact that he had a thicker build then the Ex-Agent was something that always crossed his mind, however his thoughts on that had changed considerably since he first met him; they had gone from; '_I could probably throw him a couple of metres'_ to _'he would fit against me nicely and I could probably keep him there too.' _These were thoughts Carter did not like to dwell upon.

"Ok...there!" Norman punctuated the last word with a quick pull of the thread, knotting it close to the skin. Carter turned his head to check Normans handy work on his bullet wound and what he found made his eyebrows raise in surprise, he really didn't know what to expect, but his expectations must have been low because the tight knots holding the wound together were neat and precise. The wound it self looked – and now felt – raw, sore, bloody and slightly bruised. _'Shit, I suppose he did take my mind off the pain.' _

Carter carefully rolled his shoulder then slid off the small bed and walked over to the small mirror above the sink. As he studied his wound in the mirror he caught Normans reflection and grinned back at him, "Good job Washington, I might keep you around yet." Norman smiled briefly and slid off the bed and out of Carters reflected view, turning his head to see what Norman was doing – which was only looking at the high shelves – Carter made quick work of washing his wound of drying blood and clicked his tongue as he noted his once white singlet had turned crimson brown near his wound, _'fuck it I'll change it soon.' _

Deciding to leave his singlet on Carter walked only a few steps up to the bed and picked up the two ice-packs Norman had forgotten.

Norman turned his attention to behind him as he felt Carter walk up to him; a little too close. As he turned around Carter reached out and skimmed his fingers across his cheek bone – right on the bruise. Norman quickly fought down the urge to flinch away from the pain and the fluttering embarrassment. Carters fingers slowly drifted across his cheek, far from a medical curiosity now, Normans heart started thudding in his chest as the slow moment became far more intimate as Carters fingers slid from his cheek up to his ear then ever so slowly ghosted down his neck. He could feel his skin shiver in wake of Carters gentle touch. The other man never made eye contact with Norman, his blue eyes locked onto the trail his fingers took.

Even when Norman saw Carters fingers curl away and retreat to the other mans side, he still felt as if Carter had a hold of him. The shivers from his cheek to his neck turned hot and Norman became suddenly self concious.

The moment had left them as Carter turned back towards the sink next to the small sick bed, but the feeling of that moment hung heavy in the air, neither could escape the heat that had formed between them just now.

Norman only had to walk a few steps over to Carter and tug softly at the ice-pack in his hand, Carter let it slip out of his fingers easily, still avoiding looking at him.

Norman quickly pressed the ice-pack to his bruised and shivering cheek and sat on the bed, looking away from Carter, but he couldn't help himself from looking back towards Carter every few seconds; who was currently hunched over the small sink, arms braced on either side of the small white bowl. From his position Norman could see Carter hanging his head somewhat, his shoulders looked far bigger as they bunched together with something akin to strain, the muscle leading from his shoulders packed tightly together coming to his biceps that were slightly tensed. The main vein on the underneath of his forearm bulged and Norman noticed Carters large hand gripped his other ice-pack tightly.

Carter seemed to snapped out of what ever was occupying his thoughts and he straightened up and turned towards Norman who was just sitting on the bed; ice-pack pressed against his cheek looking dumbly at Carter - having been caught staring at him.

Carter came to stand by Norman, feeling unsure if he should sit or stand, at Normans nervous shift – as if he was about to stand- Carter quickly sat next to Norman, sitting as close as they were before.

Carter tried to keep his in face in line, keeping the slight frown on as he looked over Normans expecting face. Nothing had been said between the two in quite some time, Carter hoped the consuming awkwardness could be extinguished if one of them were to speak, not that he really wanted to break the silence, but he did anyway.

"It's not looking too bad now-" Carter mentioned to the bruise on Normans face "-If you keep that up it should clear up in the next few days."

Carter was hoping Norman would say something, anything, but all he did was nod his head, look Carter in the eye and lick his bruised lip. That was all it took for Carter to be dragged back into the moment with Norman, his sole attention was on the other mans lips. The tongue that had slide over them had brought the colour out, the slight gloss of his saliva caused the fluorescent light to dimly reflect off them and that was all it took. Before he knew it Carter was leaning forward towards Norman, eyes still focused on his mouth; it widened slightly in surprise before Normans mouth was captured and pressed against Carters. Their heart beats sped up simultaneously as Carter pressed closer to Norman. Carters beard scratched across Normans upper lip and chin, his eyes still wide with surprise – a complete opposite to Carters relaxed and closed lids as his lips moved against Normans. It was when Norman felt Carters thick tongue press against his bottom lip that Norman pulled away with a flinch and winced, his fingers shot up to his bruised lip and pressed softly against it.

Norman didn't see Carters expression as he quickly turned away from Norman and stood up, but before Norman could even think of what he was doing his hand shot out and grabbed Carter by the forearm, stopping him from going any further. "Carter"

Carter only slightly turned his head towards Norman, only enough so that he could see him from the corner of his eye. Putting down the ice pack Norman hopped up off the bed to stand next to Carter – still holding onto his arm, worried he would turn tail and run at any moment – his expression Norman found hard to place, Carter almost looked ashamed, that couldn't be right. But this situation couldn't be right either, Carter had just kissed him. Not that Norman was complaining, quite the opposite actually; his heart was beating loudly, his lips tingled -making him want to wet them again- his head was a jumble of thoughts and feelings but only one topped them all – Elation. Norman was barely keeping a smile off his face, _'wait...why am I trying not to smile?'_

At the tug of Carters arm Norman let his unsure smile cover his face. Now standing directly in front of Carter Norman decided it was best to act now, before Carter really did leave. _'oh shit oh shit, what do I do, he's a guy, how should I -ah fuck it' _

Spurred on by the elation he felt when Carter kissed him and not his confused thoughts Norman leaned towards Carter, he pressed their chests together as his hands slid up Carters arms to his neck, careful of his bullet wound.

"Just not my cut lip" Norman mumbled in embarrassment as his un-bruised cheek brushed against Carters stubble, his breath hot against Carter as it rolled past the other mans ear.

There was a rush of hot air as Carter let out a breath against Norman that he didn't even know he was holding. His hands held Normans hips firmly as he bend his head to sink into Normans inviting neck, his scent was dizzying and the sensation liberating. Weeks full of thoughts and feelings he tried to shut down sprang free as his hands slid up Normans sides, gripping tighter, fingers spreading wider, just to make sure Norman was there, _'I finally have you'_

* * *

_A/N Author is a procrastinator who has a terrible memory and is super lame. Characters are OOC because that's how i roll._  
_I will be surprised if people are still reading this because i failed at updating :/ RL has been too busy and lame._


End file.
